Do unto others what has been done to you
I'm treading water,
I need to sleep a while.
My lamb and martyr, you look so precious.
Won't you come a bit closer,
close enough so I can smell you.
I need you to feel this,
I can't stand to burn too long.
Released in this sodomy.
For one sweet moment I am whole.
Do unto you now what has been done to me.
-- Tool – Prison sex
Elladan sat alone in the little cave he and Elrohir had shared; he looked at the flame from the candle and smiled sadly. alone He was all alone. He could not even feel his twin. Elladan sighed and somewhat regretted the harsh words he had spoken as Elrohir had chosen to leave. The elder twin frowned and ripped out a strand of his hair.
He cursed the day that wood elf had entered the borders of Imladris. He remembered it all too well, the young flaxen-haired elf that entered the courtyard, riding a white stallion and dressed in green, wearing the royal braids of Mirkwood.
Dinalu, the prince of Mirkwood -- he had been quite the vision Elladan remembered, but when he looked over at his brother to make fun of the sissy prince, he had not failed to see the expression in Elrohir's eyes. And he knew their time and feeble attempts of love had ended.
Elladan couldn't count the times when they had lain in their large four-poster bed, Elrohir whispering sweet endearing words in his ear, promises of eternal love if he, Elladan, would only give himself to his twin. Elladan had always refused, afraid that he would be left behind, just like their mother had left them, after she too had promised to love them forever.
But Elladan had never given himself to another lover either; he had settled for the clumsy touches and sweet kisses that had been exchanged between them in the dark of night.
But soon Elrohir did not come to their bed, and Elladan had been lying in the dark alone, speaking to himself, trying to lull himself to sleep. After a lifetime of a warm body against his, he would have to learn to live without. He tried to touch himself to hopefully bring himself to the same relaxation he had experienced with Elrohir's hand, but the fuzzy warm feeling didn't come. He had tried to drink wine before going to sleep to drown his thoughts, but he had just thrown up.
He had cried, by the Valar he had cried.
And then one day he had seen this place, he and Elrohir's secret place. This was where they had hidden from their parents and their tutors for millennia – it had been only theirs, their little secret. But now it was polluted, defiled. Elrohir had brought that elf there. He could smell it, and he could see it in the rearranged pillows and blankets.
Then the realisation hit him. He had lost his twin, and he was truly alone. It was not just them anymore; it was Elrohir and Dinalu. Elladan frowned. He gritted his teeth and plucked out another strand of hair. And the dinner... that cursed dinner where Elrohir had proclaimed he would travel to Mirkwood with Dinalu! He had seen Elrohir beam, and his father smile at the possibility of a bridge between Mirkwood and Rivendell.
Glorfindel had sensed Elladan's distress and had rubbed soothing circles on his back and smiled reassuringly. Elladan had smiled back, like the good son and heir that he was. He would not show his distress.
He had met Elrohir later and they had had a horrible fight. Elladan had screamed, begged and pleaded with Elrohir to stay, he had offered himself and his heart and whatever it took for his brother to stay. But Elrohir has declined, stating that it was just a trick for him to stay in Imladris, and that he had never thought Elladan to be so heartless as to refuse him his newfound happiness. When Elrohir began to ramble on about how fantastic Dinalu was, and what a magnificent soul there was beneath the surface of the otherwise enchanting elf, Elladan had left, not returning but hiding here in this cave behind the waterfall. Elrohir would have known how to find him, but he did not come.
When the night had fallen Elladan had returned only to find that Elrohir and his lover had left. His world had crumbled to pieces right there and then. Elladan had fallen apart. He had stormed into his father's study, shaking his father roughly and screaming at him, cursing him for letting Elrohir go. But Elrond had just tried to calm him, holding him tightly and stroking his hair – trying to tell him that they were not wee ones anymore, and Elrohir was entitled to his destiny whether it included Elladan or not.
And Elladan had realized he would not find help here; he would not find the comfort and understanding he thought he would have. And so he decided to take matters in his own hands. If he removed Dinalu the magnificent, then Elrohir would return, he would come back to him. But he was afraid that if he hired someone to do it, they would either tell his father or not do the job properly, or even worse hurt Elrohir. No, this was something he had to do himself. So he had told his father he had needed to ride to Lorien as he missed his grandparents dearly, when instead he had planned to go to Mirkwood.
Elladan sat in the dim lights and smiled. "You are clever, too clever for your own good sometimes, my friend," he whispered to himself.
Mirkwood
Dinalu had just finished his chores and returned to Elrohir, who was sitting in the grass with his little brother. He smiled. He knew that he would never produce an heir to the throne, but he was happy that his father had, even if his little brother Legolas was blissfully unaware that their mother had died in the same bed where she had given birth to him, and only a few hours later.
Elrohir was helping Legolas to make a little stick corral to keep his little stones he used as horses in place. And Legolas was chiding Elrohir for not making it properly; the animals would escape.
Dinalu chuckled. He couldn't remember ever being this happy, feeling this content. He walked over to the two on the grass and sat down. "Good afternoon, my precious ones," he said with a chuckle.
"Dina," Legolas cooed and hugged his elder brother.
"I see you have quite the farm there, little one," he chuckled.
Legolas beamed. "Yes, me and uncle Elrohir made it – pretty, huh?"
"Yes, very pretty," Dinalu answered and kissed Legolas' brow gently.
"Look little one, I came to steal your uncle Elrohir for a second," Dinalu said and smiled when Legolas frowned. "Be at peace, it will just be for a little while. You have played with him all day."
Legolas sighed dramatically and nodded. "If you must, but remember to ask Elrohir first," he said with a grin.
Elrohir laughed and ruffled Legolas' golden hair. "Dinalu is right, we have played all day, and I too need to speak with your brother for a minute."
"See?" Dinalu chuckled and put Legolas down on the ground with his toys again.
Elrohir and Dinalu stood up and the young half-elf wrapped his arm around Dinalu's waist. "I missed you," he whispered.
The blond chuckled and leaned his head against Elrohir's shoulder. "I missed you too, my heart," he whispered back. "But I actually have news for you."
"News?" Elrohir repeated as they walked back towards the royal talan. "Has something happened?"
"There is a letter for you, from your father," Dinalu said in a calm voice. "My father said to find you and bring you to him."
Elrohir felt panic bubble up inside him. Why did Thranduil want to see him in person? All this because of a letter from home? Something was wrong.
They walked to the king's study and Dinalu knocked on the door. "Father? I brought Elrohir as you requested," he said to the door.
"Excellent, come in, Elrohir," a voice came from inside of the room.
Elladan looked at Dinalu and blinked nervously. The Mirkwood prince smiled. "Don't worry my love, I am sure its nothing grave." Elrohir didn't look convinced and Dinalu continued, "I will stay right here, should you need me, OK?" he said. Elrohir nodded and gingerly kissed his lover, still a bit uncertain on how to act around the Mirkwood elves here, before he opened the door to Thranduil's study.
Elladan had been on the road for a long time, and he was tired, but he had at least reached Mirkwood. He dismounted from his horse, and moved silently into the woods, searching for his prey.
But what he saw when he reached the outskirts of the city was not Dinalu. It was a child.
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Story notes: I decided to give this fic its own opening page, because this must be the strangest fic I ever wrote, and properly the longest too. It is a mix between allot of things, but most of all two plot-bunny's of Cheysuli's, and then I added some strange stuff of my own, and some from a slash RPG I play´, called in Silpions light . This is very, very much AU and I am aware that the timeline can seem messed up. And to make all this match, I made up a big brother for Legolas, called Dinalu (roughly translated, Silent water). – And now to clear up some issues that I know from experience will arise; there will figure child abuse (non sexual), which is necessary for the plot. And a disease I am sure elves cannot get should I stick to canon, but I am not. And as I said the timeline is like the wind blows, this is NOT even close to canon it is but a story, so don't bother to flame me. Other stuff? Well this could perhaps be seen as a darkfic, but rest assured I am a fluff girl at heart, even though I like darkfic's, I actually am a sucker for happy endings, so rest assured that this will have one of those too. Thanks to; Miriel, Bersa, Elrohir, Anestel & BlueGold (from the RPG), Cheysuli for the plotbunnies
Betaed by; Lisbet Karlsdottir the ever wonderful
