Coupling, Who with Whom? by Lennon

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Story notes: I 'm quite interested in your opinions so tell me whether you like or dislike this, but please, don't be too hard, I'm no native speaker and this is my first shot.
"Let me take you down and we're going to the lands of the shades, nothing but blades and nothing to be worried of, land of the shades forever."

"Oh shut up, man that's no fun what we're doin'here!"

Legolas looked up, a hurt expression on his face but he didn't stop singing, even though Boromir seemed really furious.

"Gods you know it ain't easy, you know how hard it can be, the way things are going, they gonna cruzify me."

This time, the elf's voice was loud enough to wake up Merry and Pippin.

"Aragorn, make him stop, that's definetly not funny!"

"Oh hey, hoo, look at that, this strong stewart of Gondor isn't even able to keep a little elf from singing a harmless song. I see bad times come for the destiny of men."

Legolas was sarcastic. The rest of the fellowship sighed, it was no good with Boromir angry and Legolas sarcastic.

Aragorn wiped sleep out of his eyes, Gandalf had only recently fallen into darkness, apparantly because of a balrog, but it was Aragorn's suggestion that as a matter of fact the wizzard had only wanted to escape from this kindergarden named "fellowship of the ring"

"I can leave if you don't want me here, there are thousands of places I can go..." Legolas was dancing away, headed to the river. He always took a bath on being furious.

From the corner of his eye, Aragorn saw Frodo follow. For a moment it occured to him that letting the ringbearer leave the community was not really clever, but he was to tired to take care.

Frodo didn't rush after Legolas straight away, he went to the fire first and took two cups of tea. The elf never talked about his problems without a cup of tea or coffee or chocolat, or anything as long as it was hot and liquid....

Legolas was leaning against a tree, his long hair illuminated by the moon. He really knew how to set himself in scene. The ringbearer was quite experienced in handling his friend, though he knew him only for a short time. He sat down directly in front of the dark figure and nipped at his tea, silently. After a few seconds, Legolas sighed and came down to him. " Is this cup for me?" "If you stop to behave like a little child and tell me your problem..." There was a faint smile on the beautiful elven face. "Okay, you're right, master hobbit, in fact, I'm a shame for both, race and family." They sat in silence for a moment. The river behind them was flowing calmly in the dark. No noise could be heard, except the water and a small bird in the tree above.

"How come you're so annoyed by Boroir? He's way below you." "I know. But he is such a pain in the neck, I can't stand his arrogant behavior." "Why, are you afraid he might be even more arrogant than you are?" Legolas was startled. "Hey, you're my friend, you're not supposed to say mean things." Frodo smiled, then stroked his friend's head and went on. "So, if it's not that, what other reason has your fragile state of mind, most honnored prince of Mirkwood?" "I'm still in love with Aragorn."

"Oh, oh, but that's great!" Frodo jumped up and danced a little, whistling a hobbit party song. " Hey, calm down man, there's nothing great about that, I feel like going crazy!!!" "I don't see your point, for Arogorn and you, you were the cutest couple, I've ever seen." "But he left me because of a lack of love. Don't you remember how much I suffered, and ,and,and, I've only just started comming over him and then, there's stupid Elrond and stupid Gandalf, (He'd be blessed) talking about stupid Sauron and before I'm conscious about anything, I find myself on some kind of ring mission with my ex-lover." "But now you feel like there still is something between the two of you?" "yes. YES, but how do you know?" Frodo sighed, for he knew the eternal up and down in the man/elf relationship too well to be surprised. "just had a guess."

" Well, there was... something while we were in Rivendell." Legolas blushed. Frodo could hardly believe what he saw, but the elf actually blushed.

"But ever since we left, he treats me agaiin like we're just friends. Not even friends . He pretends I'm nothing but an archer."

"But you are an archer, right?"

"Of course I'm an archer, I'm the best blloody archer in Middleearth. But moreover I'm his lover. And he doesn't want to accept that."

Frodo watched his companion with huge blue eyes. He felt pity for him, though he was uncertain which advise could be the best in this situation.

"Have you already talked to him?"

"No."

"But why the hell not?"

" Because....because then I'd have to telll him that I'm still in love with him and if he gets to know that and does not feel the same, the atmosphere in the fellowship will be like...a swamp."

"Why a swamp?"

"Because a swamp is the worst thing I cann imagine."

"Fool of an elf..."

"Pardon?"

"Ah, nothing."

"We've still forgotten the worst thing, tthere is also this Arwen stuff."

Frodo suddenly began to feel uncomfortable. He liked Arwen and back at Rivendell, he had also had the feeling that she was strongly interested in Aragorn who was quite fond of her, too. Legolas took another sip from his tea and leaned against the tree.

"He said he didn't know whether he could rreally leave her, whether he loved me after all."

"So this means you cannot do anything but wait until he has made up his mind."

"This is so frustraiting. I should not alwways wait for him to make the first move."

"Hey Legs, you know you're the Boss here, you'll certainly survive it." There was a small noise back in the forest, almost like footsteps. Legolas tightened his back and turned his left ear a bit, so that he was able to listen better. (elves have got the hell of flexible ears.) But what came out of the wood was no uruk-hai at all, it wasn't even an orc. Just small Pipin, who had been sent to search for the "trouble maker" and his companion.

The next day, the fellowship had an easy way to go, a beautiful landscape, soft grass to walk on. Legolas and Frodo fell back, letting the others walk ahead.

"What about you and Sam?" "I don't know. The time we were a couple has passed a long time ago but lately I thought well I still think he is bloody cute, don't you agree?" Legolas smiled. The hobbit glanced at him, bright eyed, looking so cute himself that it was hard for the elf to resist embracing his friend. "Yeah, you're right, for a halfling he looks pretty pretty."

Frodo seemed irrited, but soon understood that Legolas was only joking and posed the next question. "How did you know I'm still not over him?" "Last evening, you were so extraordinary happy when I told you about Aragorn and me, so I assumed you maybe feel something equal."


"Frodo was startled. "Sometimes I think you know me just too well. So, now that we've both lain down our intimate desires, what are we going to do? Run into a bunch of orcs and wait 'till they've killed us?" The elf, grinning wickedly answerd straight away, " No. That would be too easy. I`m not yet sure how, but we'll certainly both become what or better said whom we want. Let's just wait until we've reached Lothlorien, but we'll certainly find inspiration there."

"Everywhere, people stand, each and every day, I can hear them laugh at me and I hear them say, 'hey, you've got to hide your love away'"

Legolas hummed softly as he danced through the Lorien woods. Frodo watched him pityful, compared to the other elfs he had met so far, the blond prince of Mirkwood was too bad a singer and the picture of his perfection almost blew away when he tried to sing in tune, but rather raped the tunes, and the rhythm as well. Frodo decided not to pay attention and watched his surrondings instead. The forest's green was set golden by the warm sunlight, the leafs moved elegantly in the wind, so that a play of light and shadow decorated the earth he was walking on. Never before had Frodo felt so much at ease and wonder. That's why he was quite surprised on finding Gimli walking next to him, who spoke warning phrases about the lady of the wood and elvish wickedness in genaral. Sunk in his own speech, stressing how he, Gimli, would protect them all with his sharp senses, he would have almost run into an arrow hadn't Frodo pulled him back. There was a tall, blond elf standing infront of them, blue eyed, handsome, with arrogant eyes and a voice so gay that Frodo could hardly hold back laughter as Haldir of Lorien said " The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark."

Thank the Gods, Aragorn had a gift handling difficult people in difficult situations so that after a few more words, Haldir and his companions led the fellowship to the famous Galadriel, witch, hostess, shampoo-model and owner of a tiny waterfall she claimed to be a mirror.

Frodo however rather liked to wash his hair in the sprinkling water. At least that was his first thought after having seen it. But there still was an endless meeting with the lady and her dog ähm husband Celeborn. She did some kind of mind reasearch in the heads of all the fellowship members and said some really encouraging words like "everything is dark, everything is doomed, the whole of the free people is in slavery. At least, that's what happens if anybody did anything (the slightest thing) wrong."

Boromir looked accused, Aragorn, Sam, Merry and Pippin were extremly worried, only the ringbearer leaning against the cousin from Mirkwood did not seem to pay attention at all, he rather giggled and exchanged small sheets of paper with Legolas. Galadriel sighed and led them to their chambers. To Legolas` great mischief, Aragorn and Boromir were supposed to sleep together in one room, as well as the hobbits. Only he, the elf was meant to spend the night with Haldir and his brothers.... on a tree.

In the night, there was a strange meeting at the mirror. Frodo washed his locks, `though he had forgotten his shampoo and could not borrow something from the elven sorceress. Instinctivly he hoped Legolas might come around, for the blonde knew well how to mix up a hair-dressing out of herbal essences .

And yes, after just a few seconds, a slender, silently moving figure loosened from the trees and headed towards him. "Hey Legs, come down here, there's much we've to talk about."

"Alright, master hobbit, but first, let me do you a favor. Here," and he handed him a chrystal bottle, filled with a light, green liquid. " It's an old family secret, you know, the Mirkwood royals have the silkest and most beautiful hair in Middleearth and everything just because of this olive oil, mixed up with the water of the Nimrodel....

While Frodo finished his mission, concerning the one head, Legolas sat down and watched the stars, until suddenly he jumped up and shouted out loudly, "I've got it!" "What?"

"I've got the perfect idea how to make Arogorn and Sam love us again."

"and that would be...?"

"We must split up the fellowship, so that he walks along with you whereas Aragorn and me make our own thing."

"I see, great plan, but tell me, master elf, how are we supposed to sabotage the ring mission Elrond has sent us on?"

"That.... is not yet decided."

"I love the way you make plans without finishing them."

"Hmpf, if you're so clever, then tell me Hafling, what's your suggestion?"

"I say we make Boromir demand the one ring from me, then I'll run to Aragorn and tell him all men are evil and that I wish to take the ring to Mordor all by myself. As well as I know good old Sam, he'll certainly follow me."

"And what about Aragorn and me?"

"Hey, consume or die. After Sam and me are off there will be lots of possibilitiess to get rid of the others. Just be smart." Legolas sighed, "yeah, be smart. You're good at talking. How am I supposed to be smart when each time I look at Aragorn all I can think is 'Doughnuts'." Laughing, Frodo slapped him on the shoulder. "Just concentrate on it and somehow you'll find a way....

All worked out as planned, Galadrial gave them boats to continue their voyage and Frodo took it as a good sign he was in one boat with Sam. As they reached their shore, it was easy for the hobbit to convince Boromir of collecting firewood with him.

As they walked through the wood, Frodo let the ring drop out of his shirt so that it caught the sunlight and could not be overseen by the Gondorian.

"Tell me Boromir, why do you think the one ring of power might help your people get rid of the evil surronding the white city?"

But Boromir was unable to answer probably, little water drops showed at the corner of his mouth, his eyes widened and he lost all human features. And suddenly, he jumped up, grapped Frodo's throat so that he was pushed to the ground. Reacting instinctivly, the hobbit put the ring over his finger and disappeared.




End of part one
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