It is the last night before Boromir must ride out to Rivendell, and Faramir cannot help but think it over time and again. He is sitting in the library, a book spread open in front of him, pretending he is reading it. Boromir is sitting in front of him on the other side of the table, his arms folded, and he is resting his chin against the back of his forearm. With a smile on his face, he looks up at Faramir.
"Will you miss me when I am gone?" he asks, and Faramir looks at him, first with no expression, then with a faint smile. He knows the answer as well as Boromir. He would miss him, more than anything he has ever missed before. Almost as much as he missed their mother, he wanted to say, but he knew Boromir knew that.
Faramir could say yes, and they would most likely embrace each other. Boromir would leave the next day, and Faramir would be left waiting until his return. Faramir could also take a milder approach, agree that he would indeed miss his brother were he to be gone for a long time, but if their parting should be a shorter one, he would hardly notice Boromir's absence. Considering both options, he found neither of them appealing. He could not find himself denying his affection towards his brother any longer, especially not on a night like this. He would tell Boromir everything.
"More than anything. You know that, brother," Faramir replied, reaching out his hand to gently touch his brother's cheek. Boromir looked at him, his smile widening as he stood up, and he walked around the table to Faramir and sat on the edge of the table.
"I will come back soon, for you. I promise," Boromir said, leaning closer to Faramir to give him a kiss on the lips. It was something Faramir had often dreamed of, but he had never thought it could happen. Now, all of a sudden, Boromir knew about his feelings and, as if that had not been enough for Faramir, he shared the feelings. Faramir could not say a thing when Boromir straightened himself up. "Yes, I know about you, and for your sake I will hurry back as quickly as I can. Now, you go back to your books while I go and make sure the horse has been taken care of. I will see you at the dinner."
They were silent during the dinner, and Denethor looked at Faramir with coldness and contempt. Even without voice, Faramir could make out the words echoing in Denethor's mind. "It is the wrong brother, Faramir. Boromir must not leave for your sake, yet he does." Faramir could not look at his father any longer, and he lowered his eyes to concentrate on the plate of soup in front of him.
Boromir left the next morning, and he was away for days and days. They received but little news from outside the borders, and the news were neither good nor bad. Finally, it was the day when Boromir came home. As Boromir sat on the kitchen table, eating bread, Faramir went to him, smiling tentatively. "You have come back, brother. Alive and well, if only a little hurt, I see. Tell me everything, will you?"
And Boromir told him about his journey, the people he met, about the great news he brought with him. Faramir's dream was only that - a dream. Gondor would go back to its days of glory now. People would come to their aid. Together, they could rebuild the White City and make it even more magnificent than it had ever been. "All this is great news, yet you have not told me about you. Boromir, how are you? You - not this city." Boromir walked to him, leaving his piece of bread on the table, and he grabbed Faramir by the shoulders. "My dear brother. I have seen so much, experienced so many things. If I did not carry all this responsibility for this city, I think I could have indeed stayed away longer."
Faramir wanted to know if Boromir had missed him, but found he could not ask him directly. He did not know if Boromir would want the feelings to be shown so openly, and Faramir still felt slightly ill at ease about having been revealed. Wrapping his arms around Boromir, he welcomed his brother home in an approved manner. Finally, Boromir whispered to Faramir the words he had been hoping for. "Oh, I have missed you, little brother." Looking at Faramir in the eyes, he continued, "You must come to my chamber tonight. I have to tell you something. I believe I have found the person I wish to share my life with. Someone I want to live with."
Faramir held his breath, expecting to hear his name. Boromir had promised to hurry back to him, and Boromir was a man of his word. Yet Faramir felt nervous as the words sank in. Share his life with. Live with. Their love would have to be a secret one, so how could Boromir even suggest they live together? It must have been a jest, and Faramir tried to calm down. "Why, brother, surely you are not implying you have found the woman capable of handling you? A woman who is your equal?" he asked light-heartedly to get confirmation to his suspicions.
"Indeed, I have. Oh, you will love her."
"Well, Faramir. Will you miss me when I am gone?" Boromir repeated the question, still looking at Faramir who was still smiling at him. Faramir was carefully weighing between the two options of telling the truth and hiding it. He knew he could not lie, but he could try to carefully reshape his answer, leave out the most crucial parts that could end up hurting him.
"Of course I will. Yet I know you will return, so I do not worry."
Boromir stood up and looked down at Faramir for a brief moment before taking a few steps towards the door. "Good. I will see you at the dinner, then."
Faramir merely nodded at him. Whatever happened to Boromir, Faramir would not add to the burden Boromir was already bearing. If Boromir were to be as fortunate as to find a person to share his life with, Faramir would not stand in the way. If, however, Boromir were to come back alone, Faramir would reconsider.
Until Boromir came back, Faramir would wait. Indeed, he had waited for his whole life. What harm could a few more weeks or months do?
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