"The ring of power approaches ever nearer. It will arrive soon." My lady intoned melodiously as she adjusted a crown of flowers upon her golden head..
"We watch for it constantly." I murmured waiting for Galadriel to get to the point. I had been on the lookout for any sign of hobbits carrying doomsday jewelry for weeks now.
"The man my Arwen speaks of marrying accompanies the ring." Ah, so that was what all this was about. I should have guessed.
"I want you to befriend this mortal, Haldir. Gain his trust. Find out what manner of man he is. Note his character and be vigilant for anything that might reveal him to my granddaughter in a more. . . balanced light." My lady commanded.
"Really madam, this man has been safeguarding the ringbearer since before he left rivendell. I am hardly likely to catch him filching the silver his first night in Lothlorien." I commented, a bit disappointed in my lady. There was a time, perhaps only a few centuries back, when Galadriel would have ordered me to put an arrow in the back of any mortal Arwen so much as looked twice at. My lady, however, had grown conservative and risk averse in her quiet rule. Now it was too late to harm the man without danger of harming Arwen.
"Do not presume to guess my motives or my intentions, Haldir. It should be enough for you to carry out my orders." Galadriel rejoined, faintly irritated that I had read her so well. But, of course what had she expected after so long together?
"I live to serve you, my kind mistress, my beautiful lady, my gracious queen, my most powerful goddess." I answered bowing from the waist.
"Don't blaspheme." My lady admonished, though without heat. Use and repetition had drained all the emotion from this bit of conversation long ago.
We had been following the motley assembly of elf, dwarf, men and hobbits for several minutes. I was pleased that even the Mirkwood prince remained ignorant of our arrival. I would have to remember to praise my elves later. Still I would have to challenge them soon. It would not do at all for them to become aware of us before we chose to present ourselves. I would wait just a bit more. The dwarf was speaking of my lady and I thought it would be rude to interrupt him.
"The dwarf breathes so loudly we could have shot him in the dark." I informed my elves, the ring company and the forest generally. The dwarf in question nearly swallowed his tongue. I wanted to grin but conscious of my position I contented myself with an expression of nearly imperial condescension.
Legolas, son of Thranduil, answered quickly with bow drawn. No doubt the princeling was embarrassed not to have heard or seen us. Some of my elves, already unnerved by the presence of a dwarf seemed ready to fight. I sighed at the prospect of having to calm everyone down but before I was able to say anything the lanky ranger, Isildur's heir and Arwen's betrothed intervened taking the dwarf by the shoulder and giving Legolas a hard look. That the tall dark-haired man was the prophesied renewer I had no doubt. I had met some of Isildur's line and the family resemblance was strong but I would have known him whatever his looks the moment he turned to me and asked for aid addressing me by name and in my own language.
Gesturing for my elves to stand easy I ran my gaze over those chosen to preserve middle-earth into a new age. At first glance, I wasn't particularly impressed. They all had the look of people on the edge. I could not imagine that any of them had much reserve left. I took my time, scrutinizing each creature in turn and then began again at the beginning. At last, Aragorn repeated his request. I looked at him as though noticing him for the first time.
"If you will wait here I suppose I could have some food brought to you." I said as though I was granting a large favor.
"I am afraid our need is greater than that. My name is Aragorn. This is Legolas of Mirkwood, Boromir of Gondor, Gimli of the Lonely Mountain and these are Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin from the Shire. We have traveled far on urgent business and we need rest and shelter." The man insisted, his brow suddenly creasing with interesting lines which probably indicated worry.
"Everyone's business is urgent to himself and my business is the safety of Lorien. I cannot give admittance to all chance comers who ask for it. I must have a compelling reason to allow any within the Lady's Wood." I answered severely. Of course, I would have to let them in eventually but I was enjoying my little game. I was curious to see just how desperate the company was.
At my words Legolas opened his mouth to say something angry but he received a stern look from the dark-haired human and shut his mouth. 'Well, well, well,' I thought to myself 'obedience from a Mirkwood prince.' The lady's assignment might well prove more interesting than I had hoped.
"I am certain the lady expects us and seeks word of our mission. Send to her and she will tell you her wishes." Aragorn said managing to keep hold of his patience.
"I may be presumed to know my lady's wishes." I said haughtily. With this remark I succeeded in breaking Legolas who with an exasperated sigh turned away to whisper with the dwarf. I was a bit embarrassed at how gleeful I felt over this. Now if I could break the ranger's temper I would have something to report to my lady on top of having a pleasant afternoon myself.
"I am confident you merit the trust reposed in you, Haldir." Aragorn replied with an obstinate calm that was all the more stubborn to compensate for Legolas' frustration. "If that trust extends so far as to deny entrance to the companions of Mithrandir, a prince of Mirkwood, a lord of Gondor and a lord of the Lonely Mountain then I can but appeal to your best judgment and content myself with your decision."
It actually took me a few seconds to peel back the layers of the man's last statement. I finally decided that it had been a mild insult coupled with a bluff. It was an insult because the blasted man had not referred to himself as Isildur's Heir or my lady Arwen's betrothed neither had he named the pale hobbit as the ringbearer. Anyone Galadriel trusted enough to bring her a cup of tea would have known that much. Thus, the man was essentially saying that either I was not at all trusted or in the alternative if I was trusted then the ranger knew I was playing a game. Hence the bluff: the man had essentially dared me to tell him to go. And, of course, if I did that then my lady would skin me alive and let Celeborn watch.
As I stood wondering how I could have fallen so far as to have been outmaneuvered by a man, the frail hobbit approached. I believe he was called Frodo but he hardly needed a name as he was so obviously the ringbearer. Someone really should have told the small creature that he should stop spasmodically clutching at the chain around his neck if he wanted to appear inconspicuous.
"Strider?" The small one asked piteously.
The man's attention left me and focused upon the hobbit. "Go and rest with the others. This should not take much longer." 'Strider' punctuated his words a with gentle pat to Frodo's curly hair. Thus reassured the hobbit retreated a few paces where the rest of his group slumped together looking weary and bored.
I found that I was annoyed by the interruption. Surely, I should have been Aragorn's only concern at such a time. Why did the man allow himself to be distracted from me, even for a moment? I held the power of life and death over his pathetic little company. If I sent them away they would most likely be orc meat by the morning. The fact that I wasn't going to send them away shouldn't have made a difference.
"My decision must rest upon sound reasons." I said haughtily, intending to take and keep the man's attention for as long as I chose to hold it. "And you have given me no reason to give you shelter beside your already stated desire which I naturally discount."
Grey eyes looked at me inquisitively and automatically I let my thoughts and features drift into stillness. In this way I could even conceal myself from my lady. Aragorn would scry nothing of my mind from my countenance. Even so, the man nodded a little to himself as though he had found what he had been seeking. Despite my confidence in the mask I wore I found myself unnerved.
"Elves are renown for their hospitality and graciousness to all who come to them. Would you injure such a noble reputation?" Aragorn asked. Despite the pleading in his voice and the occasional gesture for emphasis I could tell the man was thinking before he reacted.
"Have you not heard, man, elves will not long remain upon these shores?" I said not caring if the reference brought him painful thoughts of Arwen and those he loved in Rivendell. "Should we care for reputation when we are so soon to be quit of this world? You must do better than that." I wanted to force the man to admit that he represented the company of the ring. When he did I meant to call him a fool for not saying so right off and saving us all trouble.
I had hoped my persistence would discombobulate the man. To my dismay, however, he not only appeared calm but I detected the faint trace of smugness around his mouth. It was as though he had formed some initial impression of me which my words and actions now confirmed. "Perhaps, then, you would show courtesy to a fellow elf and let us in for the sake of news of your Mirkwood kin." The man essayed.
"My lady is not over fond of Thranduil. I believe I would be forgiven if I was curt with his son." I answered. Then I allowed a bit of impatience to enter my voice. "Come, is there nothing else? Have you no better reason to convince me?"
"I have one more reason." Aragorn stated. I turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised expectantly. "If I were allowed to rest and see my companions secure then I could devote myself entirely to appreciating your subtle and sardonic wit."
With that I realized the game was up. If I did not end it now the man might fully reverse our positions and threaten to leave. Thus putting me in the humiliating position of having to name reasons, without mentioning the obvious, why the company should remain in Lorien. Resolved to make the best of it I smiled at Aragorn and bowed my head in acquiescence. "There, you see what may be accomplished if you would only appeal to reason. I am happy to admit you to the realm of the Fair Galadriel."
Relief flooded through Aragorn's face at my words. I was gratified to think that the man had not been as confident or controlled as I had been led to believe. After all, I had pushed him hard in order to study him while he was under pressure. It would have been disappointing if the man had never taken me seriously.
"Thank you, Haldir." Aragorn said with a small smile of genuine gratitude. Caught somewhat off guard I smiled back.
The motley company rose at the man's call and dusted themselves off. I was just prepared to signal the patrol forward when I noticed the dwarf grumbling to Legolas. Upon first encountering the group I had been so intent upon Aragorn and my attempts to provoke reactions from him that I had allowed the presence of the dwarf to drift to the back of my mind. Now I cursed myself for such a rudimentary oversight.
"The dwarf will have to be blindfolded." I informed my patrol, the creature himself and his companions. I kept my voice firm and matter of fact refusing to let any hint of apology through.
"What!?" Demanded Gimli, drawing himself up to his, ahem, full height.
"What?!" Demanded Aragorn at the same time. I had been trying for the last half hour to make the man angry or to bring him to some other great display of emotion but now that I had succeeded I wished that I had not.
"It is the law. I can make no exception." I said without meeting anyone's eyes.
"I am a friend and kinsman here." Legolas interjected. "I will vouch for Gimli."
"It is not enough. He cannot witness the path into the heart of our land. It is forbidden." I replied unhappily. The man had withstood my earlier mockery and obstreperousness well. Now it must seem to him and the others that I was pushing matters too far. I regretted this because it would make it more difficult to carry out the rest of my lady's assignment: to earn the trust and friendship of Arwen's betrothed.
"I like this not and I find this elf to be singularly lacking in courtesy." The dwarf directed this last comment to me with a sharp jab of his thumb. "But for the sake of the fellowship I will endure this indignity if Legolas will submit also."
"Gimli, I am an elf." The prince responded faintly horrified.
"So?" The dwarf asked in no mood to be understanding.
"Enough!" Aragorn's anger had turned cold and his eyes were iron. "What is done to one shall be done to all." The group regarded the man with curiosity. Apparently, they were unaccustomed to hearing such severity in Aragorn's voice. The blond man exchanged looks with two of the hobbits and Legolas and the dwarf also shared a meaningful glance. I had the distinct impression that each was glad that he had not been the one responsible for the harshness in the voice of the ranger-king.
Soon enough, eight hoods were found and each member of the group permitted himself to be blindfolded without further objection. When we were ready I guided Aragorn's hand to my arm so that I could lead him safely. Frodo held tightly to the man's other hand and in turn the ringbearer was flanked by another hobbit. My brother, Rumil, ended the line by taking hold of that hobbit's shoulder. Behind us, Orophin and another elf flanked the two remaining hobbits with the blond man in the middle holding a hobbit hand in each of his own. Finally, an elf led Legolas who led the dwarf. The dwarf, I could not help but notice, declined any other assistance. As we proceeded Aragorn moved confidently, evidently trusting to my guidance. I was a bit nonplused by the man's apparent faith that I would keep him clear of any obstacle or hindrance. It might simply have been naivete on his part but all the same I found that I was flattered.
As my lady greeted our guests I loitered in the background. In truth, I might have taken a softer line with the fellowship if I had known Mithrandir had been lost. Still, no one had bothered to mention it to me so I did not reproach myself over much. Besides, Galadriel herself was not being particularly comforting. I was not privy to what passed between her and the fellowship through her mind touch but the blond man and the ringbearer were almost in tears by the end.
The audience concluded I conducted the group to a place where they could rest. I did my duty quietly not wanting to further antagonize the would-be king. It would be enough of a challenge to cozy up to him tomorrow without ruffling his feathers any further tonight. When I saw that the group was settled I retreated slightly into the trees. I hoped I might gain some insight by watching the group unobserved.
For a time everyone sat absorbed in the lament for Mithrandir. The hobbits shed a few tears and fell asleep comforting one another. The dwarf also went to sleep quickly. Legolas had disappeared on his own and I left him to himself in favor of keeping an eye on the man I was assigned to watch. Aragorn had approached the other man, Boromir, and he seemed to be consoling the blond warrior. I could not quite get close enough to overhear their words but by the end of the conversation Boromir appeared more at ease. Not long after both men were asleep. I lingered a little longer to make sure all was as it seemed and then I left them for the night.
I was strolling through the moonlight, trying to put in order all I had so far observed of Arwen's intended when a figure appeared on the path in front of me.
"What are you trying to do, Haldir?" The prince of Mirkwood asked quietly.
I was startled but I recovered quickly. "I was trying to enjoy an evening walk." I said contriving to look casual. "And I must say I was succeeding well enough but now an impediment seems to have sprung up in my way."
Legolas smiled and approached until we were quite close. "You might be better served if you devoted the utmost seriousness to what I have to tell you." The elf confided.
"I assure you my ears are absolutely, flappingly wide open." I replied plucking a loose thread from my tunic.
Irritation flashed across the prince's face but he soon mastered himself. "Don't play games with Aragorn. You won't win and he does not need the distraction."
"Is the tall ranger under your protection? Legolas, I think that is utterly charming. Upon my word, my intentions are strictly honorable." I assured the prince, beaming bright enough to outshine the moon , "But," and here I allowed my smile to fade somewhat. "Will not that nice dwarf you are traveling with become jealous that you are so intent upon protecting our valiant little hero-king?"
"Aragorn has no need of my protection. . ." My interlocutor began a puzzled look on his pretty face. Then his expression darkened as the meaning of the rest of my words seemed to register. "What are you insinuating about me and Gimli?" Legolas questioned dangerously.
"Why, nothing at all. I do apologize if I misinterpreted the situation." I answered my voice dripping as much innuendo as I could pour into it.
I thought the prince was about to begin a lecture on the elevated and spiritual aspect of love and friendship but he caught himself. With a supreme effort Legolas brought himself back to the subject of the ranger.
"You misunderstand my motive in speaking to you, Haldir." The prince began visibly struggling to appear reasonable. "I do not know if your attitude stems from some misguided loyalty to the lady Arwen or from your own boredom but heed me, March Warden: If you value your quiet, simple world do not involve yourself with the Dunadan. Do you imagine Elrond's daughter wished to fall in love with a mortal? Or for that matter do you believe that I intended to go about protecting hobbits and trailing a step behind the king of men?"
"No, do not mistake me." Legolas continued when I would have spoken. "I can say nothing against Aragorn. There is no other like him and I do not regret my choice. But Haldir if you do not break from whatever mischief you have planned and leave the man to himself then you will suddenly find yourself discontent with the life you have always known. The security of your beautiful piece of the world will grow too small to contain you. The fate of those you have never known will come to trouble you. What was once trivial will take on new importance and what you once thought of as certain will be assailed by doubts." The prince's eyes shone and his pale skin seemed to glow with conviction.
Well, now I had no choice but to learn more about this strange man who had seemingly ensnared two otherwise sane elves. Though, I had been impressed with what I had seen of Aragorn thus far I could not see whatever force it was that bound both Arwen and Legolas to him. "Perhaps if you could give me some notion of this man's appeal I might be better able to guard myself against him." I said not even attempting to disguise my interest.
"Haldir, you have not heard me." The prince answered, not quite sadly.
"I have taken in every word." I returned, slightly wounded. "Very good of you to warn me. We elves must stand together in these changing times, after all. Now, I'd like it if you could explain-"
"Good night, Haldir." Legolas interrupted gently. In the next moment he was gone.
Here was a mystery, indeed. I spent the hours until daylight pondering the Mirkwood prince's motive in speaking to me. I couldn't wait for my next opportunity with Aragorn. He had seemed to me a strong leader. I guessed that he was gentle and patient with those he was tasked to protect but stern when the occasion called for it. On top of that he was savvy enough to hold his own in an encounter with the best the Golden Wood had to offer, namely me. In sum, he was quite formidable but even so Legolas had to be exaggerating or playing some game of his own. I meant to find out sooner rather than later. I could not remember when I had last been this excited.
Though fatigue still hung about them heavily all the fellowship save the hobbits woke with the sun. I watched as the dwarf grunted and stretched his spine, making no fewer than six distinctive cracking sounds. Boromir ran water over his face and hands and looked about as though he was only slowly remembering that he was safe and had no need to march today. Legolas disappeared murmuring something about a bath. Aragorn was bent over the group's supplies, taking inventory of what needed to be repaired and what needed to be replaced.
"You were most unkind yesterday." I said materializing beside the man. To his credit he did not start. He must have been used to having elves sneak up on him. I automatically disregarded the possibility that he had heard my approach. "I suppose you found it amusing letting a poor, simple elf natter on without informing him that he was in the august presence of Aragorn Elessar, Captain of the Dunedain, last of the line of Isildur, Prince of the Dawn, Champion of Middle-Earth and king-to-be. You might have taken pity upon me, my lord, and spared me so much embarrassment." I chided.
"You are mocking me, Haldir." The man asserted correctly.
"Not a bit of it, sir. In fact, I have come to offer my most humble apologies and to try and make amends." I said anything but humble.
"And what form will this 'amends' take? I do not think I can afford too much of your humility, March Warden." Aragorn asked, sounding half amused and half wary.
"I will take you through Lorien, of course, and show you the lay of the land. I can show you more in a day than you could learn on your own if you scouted for a month." As I spoke I saw that the man's glance strayed to his companions. I quickly perceived that he was reluctant to leave them unattended so soon. He would not go off with me until he was certain his charges were somewhat easier in their surroundings. Instantly, I modified my offer. "My duties will detain me through the morning but this afternoon I will be free if you are of mind to keep company with me."
Aragorn's gaze lingered longest on the still sleeping form of the ringbearer. 'You can't hold his hand every moment.' I thought irritably. Finally, the man turned back to me and I read his decision before he spoke.
"I will have need of familiarizing myself with this territory and I would be glad of your assistance." Came the courteous reply. I inclined my head in acknowledgment.
"Aragorn!" The man turned at the sound of his name. Boromir was standing a few paces away trying to communicate by his eyes and rather unsubtle jerks of his head that he wished private communication with the ranger. Obligingly, Aragorn went to the other man who took him by the arm and led him a few paces further from me.
Directing the occasional look in my direction Boromir bent close to his captain and whispered: "The hobbits will be hungry when they rise. I don't know how we are expected to act. I would like to be able to tell the little ones what they may look forward to. Do these elves mean to feed us or just make fun of us?"
"A bit of both, I expect." Aragorn answered wryly. "The hobbits will do well enough by the elves no matter the size of their appetites. As for us, Boromir, we are guests here. It would be unwise as well as uncivil to judge our hosts too harshly." From where I stood listening to the whispered conversation I gave both men my most fey smile. Boromir's eyes widened and I knew he was disturbed.
"Before your duty deprives us of your company, I wonder if you would be so good to point us in the direction of the kitchens." Aragorn called to me as he sighed and patted the blond man's shoulder in a gesture designed not only to comfort but to remind Boromir of himself.
"Did someone say kitchen?" A groggy voice sounded from the waking pile of hobbits.
"Indeed, and most remarkable kitchens they are where the tables groan beneath the weight of new baked bread, rounds of cheese, fresh vegetables, dozens of eggs, bowls of mushrooms, platters of meat and fish, cauldrons of savory herb stew and a veritable orchard's worth of fresh fruit." I announced watching as all four hobbits became very alert.
"Oh," One of the furry footed creatures breathed, longing etched on his face.
"I will escort you there if you wish." I suggested casually.
There was a ringing chorus of 'yes, please' from all but the ringbearer. When this omission was noted the roundest hobbit reconsidered his assent. "I suppose it might be better to let Merry and Pippin have a first look. Like as not the sight of all that marvelous food will be too much for me and I'll go right into a fit. We may as well use the last of our rations anyhow and we'll go get a bit of the fresh later, then." The plump one concluded but then he added plaintively: "Won't we Mr. Frodo? Just after you've had a bit more rest. right?"
"Of course, Sam. Go now if you like. I'm just not ready to start eating quite yet. I'm sorry." The rignbearer said looking sorrowful. His pudgy servant went sorting through his pack with an expression that proclaimed that it was no trouble at all.
"Well then, with your permission, my lord, we will be off." I addressed this last to Aragorn with an elaborate bow. I saw, however, that the hobbits were looking at the man with hopeful faces. They had taken my request for permission seriously. Worse than that the man himself appeared to be thinking about the question. "I will see that they are looked after." I said feeling a little foolish.
"We'll behave, won't we Merry." The smallest hobbit piped up. "We've learned our lesson about what happened in Rivendell."
"Yes, we absolutely won't make that mistake again." Merry confirmed sincerely. "You can trust us, Strider."
"All right, then. Be off with you." Aragorn answered affectionately as the hobbits yipped with delight.
"Mind you leave something for the rest of us." Gimli called as each of my hands was seized in two smaller hands and I was nearly hauled off my feet.
"We will." Came the eager chorus as I attempted to steer the hobbits while maintaining my own balance.
When we were well away from the camp and the hobbits had settled down a bit I addressed my companions. "Well now, my pretty creatures, why don't you tell your new friend, Haldir, all about your adventures." And of course, dear little mites, they did just that.
I had taken a rather round about way to the kitchens. It was fortunate that I did so because any attempt at further communication with Merry and Pippin was prohibited once we arrived as the pair immediately began to gorge. I called Rumil to me and put him in charge of the little ones. I said goodbye to the hobbits but I don't think they noticed. I was not offended. I was glad to see so much delight in so simple and so basic a pleasure.
My conversation with the talkative cousins had been revealing in many ways, first, in the hobbits themselves. I did my best to gather as much information about their companions without being obvious but they saw through me in moments. "You want to know what everybody's like." Pippin stated rather than asked. Surprised by how transparent I must have been I answered honestly. Then the two laughed together and went on to give a short description of each of their comrades as though it was perfectly natural for me to be curious and for them to try and satisfy my curiosity.
The cousins spoke of all their companions lovingly. When they came to Mithrandir I thought they might stop. I prepared myself to be sensitive even though they had not yet mentioned Aragorn but all Merry said was that "Gandalf was good and kind." Pippin said nothing, though, he was the more loquacious of the two. There was silence for a while and then Merry repeated his words a few times. After another pause the hobbits seemed to emerge from their sadness and carry on with their descriptions.
As each member of the fellowship was brought up I started to get more of a sense of the group dynamic. Boromir was by far the most conflicted and he sought refuge in the company of the child-like hobbits. Whatever inner demons the man wrestled with it was clear Merry and Pippin loved him. Gimli was blunt and preferred confrontation to any other possible strategy. He was most satisfied arguing with Legolas. The elf, himself had started off polite rather than friendly. He had held himself somewhat aloof from the group. When circumstances and the dwarf's temper had forced Legolas into more interaction, he was revealed as a cheerful, occasionally playful creature.
Frodo's personality seemed to have been completely overshadowed by his task. He was the ringbearer; Suffering had bled all individuality out of him. Merry and Pippin had known him before and it was obvious that Frodo's transformation troubled them more than they could say. Sam, as I had already guessed. was completely devoted to Frodo and had little in him left over for anything else. I found all of this very interesting and it filled in a necessary background but at the same time I was becoming more and more eager to hear what my new friends thought of Aragorn.
"And then there is Strider." Pippin announced a grin splitting his face. "We've saved him for last because you want to know about him so particular." The hobbit accompanied this statement with a squeeze of my hand, perhaps meant to show he did not mean any harm by a little teasing.
"Why would you think that?" I asked sounding exactly as though I was surprised by the notion that I should have any special interest in the man.
"Don't know. But it's true. Isn't it, Merry?" Pippin said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Oh, yes. And, you know, if you had simply asked us right out we would have told you immediately." Merry affirmed.
I could not help but laugh. I had no idea how the two hobbits perceived my interest but somehow I knew that it would be a mistake to lie to them. "Well, you have taught me a lesson. From henceforth I will be candid and direct with all hobbits I chance to meet."
Merry gave my hand a squeeze. "That is usually best." He said and I laughed again
"Now tell me of your Strider since you know that it is of some moment to me." I responded.
"The first thing you notice about Strider," Pippin began eagerly, "is that he is very stern, almost grim. It can be quite frightening if you're not used to it. When first we saw him we were all scared witless."
Merry nodded and took up where his cousin left off. "He grows on you, though. Sam didn't like him much in the beginning but even before Rivendell we all just seemed to rely on him for everything. I suppose he is more like your father than one of your mates."
"He is not a bit like my father." Pippin interjected.
"Don't we a dunce, Pip. I don't mean your father or mine for that matter only that he is like fathers. You know, generally." Merry shot back giving his cousin a despairing look.
"Oh. Yes, you don't want to disappoint him. That makes sense, then, I suppose." Pippin graciously admitted. "I don't know, there is something about him. Even though, he is quite stern he somehow makes you feel hopeful. . . . Oh my!"
Both hobbits froze in place, goggling. Smiling I disengaged my hands from their now loose grasp. I would have liked to spend more time in such novel discourse but other priorities had intervened. I gave both hobbits a little push to start them moving the final few yards to the kitchens.
I spent the hours before I had agreed to meet Aragorn on patrol. I drifted from checkpoint to checkpoint making sure that all was well. I had organized the security of Lorien a long time ago and the arrangements had always been satisfactory. The process hardly needed my supervision anymore. Each elf knew his job and did it well. But old habits were hard to break so I made my rounds. Anyway I wasn't sure how else I was to fill the time.
"Are you ready?" I asked coming up to Aragorn as he sat mending a leather strap on one of the packs.
"Just a moment." The man replied absorbed in his task. Suppressing a sigh I looked around for my friends of the morning. I caught sight of Merry and Pippin soon enough but any hopes I had of a bit of conversation were dashed for both hobbits were fast asleep.
"Shall we go?" The man's voice intruded upon my contemplation of the napping figures but I concealed my startlement and led the way out of the camp.
"I trust you have settled in and that you and your companions are comfortable." I said getting the formalities out of the way.
"Yes, thank you. It is a great relief to all of us to find safety if only for a little while." Aragorn responded according to the formula.
With the banalities over we passed the next few hours in relative quiet, our talk limited to comments upon our surroundings. It seemed to me that Aragorn was almost familiar with all I had to show him of the Golden Wood and I remarked upon this curiously.
"Arwen loves this place and speaks of it often." He said as we came to the crest of a small hill and were treated to a view that revealed all that was beautiful in autumn.
The man darted a quick glance at me after we spent several moments reveling in the breathtaking vista before us. "Arwen also spoke of you with affection."
"And what did my lady's lovely granddaughter have to say about her devoted servant?" I laughed.
"She said that you were very clever." The man replied.
"That was tactful." I observed mirthfully.
"She said, also, that you were not as happy as she would have liked you to be."
"My lady Arwen is very kind but, I think, overly sentimental." I murmured feeling, suddenly, very cold.
"That would, indeed, explain a great deal, wouldn't it." Aragorn said smiling. The man's little joke lightened the mood and gave me the chance to recover my humor. I smiled back at him unable to keep all the gratitude out of my expression.
"I am a little surprised you have not had occasion to visit us here before." I inquired casually after a minute or so.
"The Lord and Lady of this place have little reason to love me. I did not want to force my presence upon them." Aragorn answered a little wistfully. "Besides I seldom have had time for social occasions. As much as I would love to learn more of elfkind my duty calls me to the cities of men. " I could understand that. The man had only a bare seven decades. It was astonishing he had traveled as much as he had.
"When I was much younger I considered making Imladris my home." I said. A time in my life I had not thought of for a long time suddenly springing to my mind.
"I did know that. Why did you change your mind?"
"Oh, a number of reasons, I suppose." I said memories flooding back. "Glorfindel and Erestor were already so well known and I wanted to make a reputation for myself and I feared their fame would overwhelm any deeds of mine. Then, too, there was Galadriel. Her vision seemed so sharp and clear but now. . ." I trailed off not certain how to finish my thought.
"But clarity is at the expense of detail and breadth." The ranger spoke so softly that had I been of his kind I would not have heard him. As it was I was not certain he meant for me to hear him or even if he meant to speak at all. His words, though, resonated perfectly with what I could not express before: My lady's view of the world was in sharp focus but there was no ambiguity, no shades of meaning, no blending, no variety of perspective. In short, it was deadly dull.
"But you have succeeded, Haldir." The ranger spoke now at normal volume. "You have won honor for yourself and glory for Lothlorien. You shall always be remembered among the dauntless and intrepid warrior elves."
"A trained dwarf could do what I do." I said a little more bitterly than I intended. My days of glory and perhaps the glory days of all elves were over.
"Ah, but not with your panache, Haldir." Aragorn said with a straight face and I had to laugh.
"Well, there you speak the very truth." I replied with a grin. "And surely there is something to be said for style."
Aragorn smiled back and patted me on the back. I nearly laughed again for it was the same gesture I had seen him deliver to Boromir and various hobbits. Still it was somehow soothing and I did not laugh.
We lapsed back into companionable silence. I had not planned to confide in the man the way I had done. I told myself, however, that it had helped break the ice between us and therefore I had acted consistently with Galadriel's commands. So it had all been more or less in a good cause.
It was evening and I had shown Aragorn the main eastern routes from Lorien. We were still a few minutes from the fellowship's camp and I judged the time aright to further develop friendly relations with the man. "Stay a moment." I called to the ranger as he continued back towards his camp. For most creatures physical intimacy was a shortcut to emotional intimacy. I thought that I would not have had any trouble building a friendship with the man but I did not have time to go about it slowly.
The ranger stopped and turned to regard me. I walked up to him coming closer than necessary for simple conversation. "Why do you hurry? Surely the hobbits do not need you to tuck them in, do they?"
"Frodo has difficulty sleeping and as group we have all grown to depend on one another. Their welfare is imperative to my own peace of mind." The man answered acting oblivious to my nearness.
"Really, you don't expect that the sky will fall if you are absent for an evening?"
"Did you not meet Merry and Pippin?" Aragorn asked raising an eyebrow.
I laughed and put my arms around his neck. "Tempt fate and stay here."
"No, Haldir." The man said taking a step backward to extricate himself from my embrace.
"What human prudishness is this?" I inquired closing the distance between us again though I did not touch him. "Are you not lonely? Am I not beautiful? We are both male so my lady Arwen can have no objection."
"That is not enough." Aragorn said softly.
"I hope you don't expect me to be in love with you, man." I said my eyes bright with amusement. "My lady Arwen aside, that sort of thing just doesn't happen."
"No, I don't expect you to love me." The man answered a faint smile on his lips. "But I do insist that there be some affection between us. I don't believe you even like me."
"What makes you think I don't like you?" I purred using the excuse of brushing a lock of his hair back to caress the side of his face.
"I am not a child, Haldir." Aragorn said in mild reproof gently removing my hand from his cheek. "I know that you are bored and that I represent something of a novelty. And I have not forgotten in whose kingdom I am. You are doing your duty, Haldir. I am able to respect that. I am not offended but neither am I tempted. Good night." The man bowed courteously and went on to join the rest of the fellowship.
Why should I deny it: I was incensed The man had all but called me a whore. I didn't mind that sort of thing as a prelude to sex but in this case I thought it was just plain discourteous. The fact that he was mostly right didn't matter. It was also galling that the man thought I didn't like him. I did like him. I had not been misleading him on that point. I might even have liked him well enough to go to bed with him on my own initiative. Now, how was I supposed to gain his trust? Wretched man! No wonder Galadriel wanted some sort of hold on him: Whenever you thought you had him he slipped away.
By dawn I had walked off most of my anger. With the wound to my pride already healing I could start to see the situation with a little more detachment. In a way it was funny. I didn't seem to have any trouble being convincing when I dissembled only my sincerity was suspect, ironic that. Besides all was not lost. I was certain that the Aragorn and I had established something of a rapport. From our first meeting I had found him interesting, even attractive- in a human sort of way. His dark hair was wavy with streaks of gray. Most elves had straight hair. Certainly all male elves had straight hair of one solid color. Then, too, there was something about his physical presence. For a man he was lean and wiry but his frame was larger and sturdier than an elf's and he was able to project strength and stability. Oh, yes, the man was worth a second try even without my lady's mandate. Smiling I turned my footsteps in the direction of the guest quarters.
I did not avoid Aragorn but neither did I seek him out in particular. Instead I spent my time being generally useful. If a bit of twine, a spare flint or a new whetstone was required I fetched it with only minimal sarcasm. Merry and Pippin found my company most agreeable. I admit I bribed them a bit with sweets but what sort of warrior would I be if I did not know how to exploit a weakness. I debated trivialities with the dwarf which seemed to irritate Legolas. Apparently I had usurped the other elf's role so I changed tacks and told Gimli a few flattering stories about Galadriel. This appeased Legolas who immediately fell to teasing his friend about his infatuation with my lady. Aragorn observed all this with an appraising eye. Yes, man, you see: Haldir is a very good elf.
Once Merry and Pippin had had a little while to digest their third snack of the afternoon Boromir called them for a bit of weapons practice. After Boromir had taken the little ones through a few rehearsals of the basic maneuvers the blond warrior asked Aragorn to help him demonstrate a few more complicated moves. Panting the hobbits gratefully retreated to the sidelines and the ranger stepped forward. At first, the two performed basic techniques slowing and exaggerating their movements so the hobbits could follow. Gradually, though, the speed and complexity of Boromir attacks increased. The entire fellowship had gathered to watch as the battle intensified. The hobbits looked on admiring the rapid back and forth, the lightening thrusts and dodges. I was starting to get a little worried, though. The blond man wasn't practicing or putting on a show for the hobbits. He seemed to be fighting his captain in earnest. Boromir was attacking with too much vehemence and too much violence. Something in the man's face had changed too. His features were stripped of everything but a savage pain and an animal's instinct to strike out in self-defense. Aragorn faced a mad thing, a beast brought to bay. If the ranger did not move fast enough there was no way he would be able to avoid serious injury.
My worry had turned to alarm and I quickly looked to the rest of the fellowship. My fear was confirmed in their anxious expressions. Gimli seemed to be holding back from interfering only by the strongest effort of will. Even the hobbits were tense, aware that something had changed. I sought Legolas for some explanation. Why was no one stopping this? Catching my glance the other elf whispered: "Aragorn can handle him." I was hardly reassured. What was going on?
Despite Boromir's fury Aragorn did not attack. His sword flashed and danced but only in self-defense. The ranger was relying on quickness to avoid the other man's blade without directly matching his strength against the younger man. Aragorn was working to conserve his energy as Boromir was quickly exhausting himself pouring all of his force into every blow. The blond warrior's strokes were losing their precision as his onslaught continued. He no longer fought as a skilled warrior but as a desperate man. I relaxed a little. Aragorn was no longer so hard pressed.
Then without warning the ranger struck Boromir's wrist with the flat of his sword. The blond man's weapon dropped from his nerveless fingers. Aragorn raised his blade to the other's throat but he held it there for less than a second. Boromir stood still staring down at his empty sword hand, looking a little confused. All the ferocity had drained from him. Aragorn bent, retrieved his subject's sword from where it had landed a few feet away and held it out hilt first.
"I yield." Boromir murmured making no move to take back his blade. Aragorn nodded still holding out the sword.
"I yield." The man repeated a little louder and looking up to meet his royal captain's gaze.
"Take back your weapon, Steward's son." The king commanded. For a moment I thought Boromir would drop to his knees. In the end, however, the man only took his sword back. Then he made his way to Merry and Pippin. All of the concern I had seen on the cousins' face had disappeared and they cheered and clapped as though all they had witnessed was a particular energetic demonstration by two master swordsmen.
I sidled up to Legolas and in a low voice demanded: "What was all that about? He meant to kill him."
"No, not really." Legolas answered and I saw that the elf had also been nervous during the fight. "Boromir is angry and confused about many things. This helps him. Believe me, the last thing he wants is to hurt Aragorn. He cut him once. It was only a scratch but Boromir was literally ill with remorse. For days he could eat nothing and barely spoke a word. Aragorn is much more careful now."
"This is madness." I said.
"Aragorn thinks there will come a time when Boromir won't need to do this any more." Legolas offered, a bit defensively.
"He doesn't 'need' to do it now. This is madness." I repeated.
"What would you have Boromir do?" Legolas demanded fiercely. "You don't know what it has been like for him, what it has been like for all of us. He cannot keep it inside. He cannot take it out on the little ones. Aragorn does what he can for him but you just don't know." Legolas finished grief in his eyes.
"All right, Legolas. I don't know. There, now, you needn't get upset." I said still appalled but trying to soothe my fellow elf. I was completely at a loss. I had seen Boromir romping and laughing with Merry and Pippin. I didn't understand what could drive him to such an extremity. Then, too, there was Legolas. I was terrified that the prince was going to burst into tears right in front of me. I was simply not equipped to deal with that sort of problem.
The elf earned my undying gratitude, however, by pulling himself together. "I'm sorry, Haldir. I know it seems odd but, really, it's the best way." I nodded gravely prepared to take it on faith. Satisfied Legolas gave me a little smile before turning away. Determining that I would try and sort this all out later, I remembered my purpose and looked around for the ranger.
I only just caught sight of the man as he was leaving the camp. Naturally, I followed him. Though, I waited a bit so that it was not obvious to the fellowship that that was what I was doing, I thought I had lost him for a moment and I wasted some time retracing my steps but eventually I found him. He was at the baths, stripped to the waist. He was about to remove his trousers and enter the heated spring when he must have been struck by a sudden emotion for he suddenly brought his hands up and covered his face.
He stood like that for a long time. If he was weeping he made no sound and his shoulders did not shake. Part of me wanted to go and allow the man some privacy but I couldn't move. The more I watched the more fascinated I became. Steam rose from the bathing pool and the moonlight was diffused by the mist lending a surreal illumination to the tableau. The man stood straight and tall, The muscles clearly delineated on his arms, shoulders and back. The sweat from his recent battle had mostly dried but here and there I still saw the glimmering trails of salty perspiration meandering down the warm and living flesh. The picture could have stood as a tribute to all that was proud and strong in men except that Aragorn still covered his face.
Finally, I could endure it no longer. "Hail, Lord of the dawn." I caroled merrily, stepping forward as though I had only just then come upon the man. Aragorn did not move at the first sound of my voice and a cold fear that I had done something terribly wrong came upon me. In the next moment, though, the man finally dropped his hands from his face and took a deep breath:
"Hello Haldir." To my immense relief Aragorn looked and sounded normal as he greeted me.
Still slightly unnerved I actually stammered a bit: "Have I disturbed you? Would you like me to go?"
"No, please stay. I have been meaning to speak to you." The man said meeting my eyes. "You surprised me today."
"I am capable of being pleasant when I put my mind to it." I retorted with mild affront.
"Of course you are pleasant. No, what I meant was that I was surprised that you made the effort after the way I spoke to you yesterday." Aragorn replied. "I wanted to apologize for what I said. I was- Well, that doesn't matter. I am sorry."
"You need not be." I said surprised in turn. "After all, you weren't wrong. My lady is very interested in you. Did the lady Arwen tell you to expect that?"
"Arwen is aware of her grandmother's appetite for information of all sorts, but it wasn't that." 'Appetite for information' that was the nicest way I had heard yet of saying Galadriel couldn't stay out of her grandchildren's business. I had known her to spend days over her mirror watching for even the most trivial vision of Arwen or the twins. I gave the man an inquiring look hoping he would continue his explanation.
"When we were introduced, there was something about Lady Galadriel's mind touch. It felt. . . invasive, almost coercive. I did not like it." The ranger confessed. I nodded as I regarded Aragorn with sympathy. There were times when I, too, felt that my lady overreached, tried to take more than I wanted to give.
After a brief pause I approached quite close to the man and spoke again. "You were not entirely correct, though, in what you said yesterday." He was about to apologize again but I cut him off raising a finger to my lips.
"I do like you." I said placing my hands on Aragorn's shoulders. "I might even go so far as to say I like you very much."
In response the ranger carefully, almost shyly put one hand on my hip. I smiled encouragingly. Moving slowly, giving him plenty of opportunity to pull away if he wished, I brushed my lips against Aragorn's. Drawing back a little I watched for the man's reaction. At first, there was no reaction to observe. The ranger just stood before me as though lost in thought. Then his eyes seemed to regain their focus and he smiled just a little, just the smallest lift to the corners of his mouth but it was enough.
My arms wound around his neck and he clasped me about the waist so that our bodies pressed together. His first kiss fell softly on my mouth, almost as soft as my own kiss had been. We traded that kiss back and forth, taking turns. With each exchange the kiss grew more confident, more intimate. Finally, Aragorn drew my bottom lip into his mouth and we stopped worrying about whose turn it was.
"If you do me a favor, Aragorn, I will do you one in return." I offered several minutes later as I rubbed my face against Aragorn's bearded cheek, breathless and a little flushed.
"If it is in my power to do you a favor, Haldir, then I will do it without any need for requital." The man breathed into my ear.
"You won't make it very far as king with that attitu- Ah-h." My remonstrance turned into a little gasp as his tongue darted out to paint my earlobe from bottom to tip.
"What would you ask, lovely elf?" Aragorn questioned seriously, retreating a little but still holding me against him.
"Now, I want you to hear me out." I said matching his seriousness. "Don't refuse out of hand but consider carefully before answering." Aragorn's shoulder muscles tightened under my hands as I spoke. The mantle of decision and responsibility descended upon him separating the man from me though he still seemed to be holding me in an affectionate embrace.
Taking a deep breath I proceeded earnestly: "You came here for a purpose. Continue with that purpose." I might have been holding one of the Arganath in my arms now. The man analyzed and assessed my words, waiting to hear the particulars of my dire request. I leaned into him, lowering my voice: "Finish your bath."
If I had not been in actual physical contact with the man I might not have been able to register any reaction. Aragorn kept a straight face but warmth returned to his flesh, the light of unyielding majesty dimmed in his eyes and he relaxed. Feeling him return to himself I suddenly became aware of my own body. It seemed to me that even as I had set up my joke I had been trembling whether with fear or cold I could not have said.
"I hope you understand the weightiness of what you ask of me." Aragorn said gravely and I had to bite my lip to keep from bursting into peels of laughter as I nodded. I had never known anyone who was able to keep such a straight face as this man.
"I would not do this for just anyone, Haldir." The ranger continued. "And even for you I must plead a lack of expertise. I will do it, but you must lend your assistance." And with that I felt myself lifted into the air. Before I could gather my wits I realized that I was falling, Aragorn still holding me. Then we landed, plunging into welcoming hot water. The ranger had jumped into the spring taking me with him.
At the first indication that I wanted to be released, the grinning man put me down. More than waist deep in water I splashed him indignantly. He splashed me right back, just as indignant. Thus, for nearly a minute the guardian of the Golden Wood and the future king of men chased one another, splashing and laughing. Soon, though, the languorous heat of the water and our own dignity reasserted themselves and the water fight concluded.
"Well, I suppose you really do need my assistance, man, for it has been a settled point for a very long time that one should undress before bathing." I said, my voice coming out a bit huskier than usual. Matching my actions to my words, I started stripping off my sodden clothing.
"Well, of course, it seems obvious after someone has thought of it." Aragorn answered, voice deep and rich with mirth. He had only his trousers to remove which he did. Then he wrung the excess water from them and tossed them onto the shore near where he had left his boots and shirt.
When I had taken off my clothes I left the pool ascending the stones steps carved for the purpose. Aragorn's eyes followed me with open curiosity. When I reached the bank I removed my soaked shoes and lay out my other clothes with care. I was completely comfortable with my nakedness and I was mostly comfortable with the man's gaze. Then I turned to the natural rock wall that bordered part of the pool and provided some shelter. Like all things in Lorien there was no true distinction between indoors and out and this rocky border contained discreetly worked shelves containing all the necessities for a civilized bath.
I reentered the pool holding a sponge and several soaps. My wet body had chilled a little by the night air and I hissed a little as my scrotum contacted the hot water. When I was warm again I selected one soap and put the others on the bank. I turned to face the man who had been watching me all the while. His expression was inscrutable once more. Suddenly, I felt a small stab of guilt. Perhaps my little joke had not been worth the anxiety- if only the momentary anxiety- I had caused Aragorn. "You are not angry, then?" I asked to reassure myself.
"'Tis only a bath, Haldir. I was going to take one anyway." The man replied, purposefully misunderstanding my concern.
"Here," I said laughing and handing him the soap and sponge. "It is my turn to watch for a while."
Aragorn accepted the soap and sponge and began to wash. He did not do anything differently than he would have done had I not been there. He made absolutely no attempt at seduction and moved with simple efficiency. Methodically he dipped his head into the water and scrubbed his face and scalp then he rubbed the soapy sponge across his chest and stomach, under his arms and over his shoulders. I congratulated myself on picking a soap that would lather. Watching foaming water cascade down sun-darkened, battle-hardened flesh is an experience I highly recommend.
The sight of Aragorn aroused in me an almost irresistible urge to participate. I selected another soap and made my way to the man. He smiled as I approached and cocked his head to the side as though asking me what I wanted. I took the sponge from his hand and understanding my intention the ranger turned slightly granting access to his back. The man sighed in contentment as I brought the sponge up and down his back in firm, steady strokes.
When I was done I put my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek against the back of his shoulder. Aragorn turned in my arms so we were again face to face. We pressed together, warm and wet. Placing a hand on my chin the man tipped my head up so that he could kiss me. His tongue pushed passed my lips and deep into my mouth. I responded by tangling my fingers in his hair and trying to pull him further into me. I had expected the man's hair to feel rather coarse but it did not. Each strand was thicker than an elf's but the texture was soft and springy. I felt rather than heard Aragorn make a small sound of satisfaction as the noise vibrated against my lips.
When the kiss ended I schooled my features to look politely inquisitive. "What shall we do now, my lord?"
"I suppose that is a question we must decide." Aragorn sighed stepping back and putting his hands lightly on my shoulders.
"Not I." I informed the man matter of factly.
"I don't take your meaning, Haldir." The ranger replied, forehead crinkling.
"I mean that you have done me the favor I asked and now I grant a favor in return. I am yours this night so what shall we do?"
"That was but a jest, Haldir. We should talk." Aragorn insisted.
"Are you suggesting my promises are mere jests?" I demanded an impudent smirk spreading over my face. "Of course, if talking is your activity of choice I suppose I must comply but I admit I will be disappointed. Just consider all our options: We could play a game of chess, compose a lyric poem, have fierce and wanton sex. Whatever you will."
"That is my decision, is it?" Aragorn asked dubiously.
"Mmhm." I said trying to look docile. "I won't even tease you."
"Wicked elf, now I know that you are lying." Aragorn said stroking my cheek affectionately.
"I am in earnest, man."
The ranger dipped his hand into the pool and let the water run through his fingers."Well, I suppose that first we should go somewhere a little more dry." The man suggested remaining suspicious but unwilling to argue about it.
"One of the most attractive features of my talan has always been a notable lack of excess water." I informed the man. "Let's go there."
Taking Aragorn's hand I led him from the pool. As we stood on the bank I handed hin one of the towels from the rock shelves and watched him as I dried myself. I studied Aragorn as, for the first time, he stood completely naked. His legs were long and lean just as I could have predicted. My gaze flicked curiously to his groin and I was quite pleased with what I saw. He was nicely shaped and bigger than I expected. Taking him altogether I could see how some men came to consider elves a bit feminine. He radiated power but it was not the power of my lady. Whether the difference sprung from his humanity or his masculinity I could not have said but it was potent, compelling and somehow life affirming.
"I doubt you will have any use for those for quite awhile." I told the man as he set aside the towel and walked along the bank stopping at the pile of his abandoned clothes. "I confess that it is quite sweet but you have no need of modesty."
"That is far easier for an elf to say than for a man, lovely Haldir. But modesty or no I certainly have need of warmth."
I frowned. I should have thought of that. It was autumn and there was a chill in the air. I had become so caught up in the undeniable strength of the man that I had forgotten the very simple fact that men got cold. That would teach me to wax poetic and forget practicalities.
"Wear this." I suggested rummaging quickly through the contents of the stone shelves and coming up with a light bathrobe. "It will be better than your damp trousers and my talan is not very far." Aragorn appraised the soft linen critically but he put it on, cinching it around his waist with the cloth tie.
"Quite elegant." I commented adjusting the collar and running my hands over his now covered chest. Aragorn's hands roamed down my sides as he leaned forward kissing me.
Then, without warning, the man bent forward a bit and lifted me so that my legs naturally went around his waist. I put my arms around his neck for balance and looked at him quizzically. "What's this?"
"I would like to carry you if you have no objection." Aragorn answered clasping me to him.
"If you want to play barbarian aren't you supposed to drag me off to your cave by the hair?" I laughed tugging gently at a lock of the man's hair in demonstration. It seemed to me, suddenly, that I had been doing a lot of laughing recently; much more than I had done in many years.
"If you'd like me to put you down, Haldir, you have only to say." The man waited a moment or two but I didn't say anything, only settled myself more comfortably in his arms and hooked my ankles for better support.
"Which way to your cave, then, lovely one?" Aragorn asked nuzzling against my ear and the side of my face.
"Straight ahead then left at the holly, my lord barbarian." I whispered between kisses to the man's neck.
We made it to my talan though it took longer than expected since I wouldn't give the man more than a few seconds to look at the path before drawing him into long, increasingly urgent kisses. Aragorn had to release me so that we could safely ascend to my home and I found I was disappointed to let go of the man. So much kissing and close contact had left me in a state of arousal and my nakedness made this very apparent.
I did not spend a great deal of time in my talan. Thus, I had few furnishings besides the bed and a small clothes chest. Normally, this was not something that bothered me but this night I wished I had had something a bit more decorative or at least expressive of my personality to show the man. At least, I was able to come up with a wineskin of the rich lorien mead to help me play host. Handing the wineskin to Aragorn I removed the belt of his robe and the pushed the material off his shoulders letting it fall to the floor.
"Any good?" I asked after Aragorn had sipped the mead. "I'd like a taste." I requested when the man nodded. I pushed aside his hand, however, when he offered me the wineskin and instead moved in for a kiss. I ran my tongue over the inside of his lips and over his tongue tasting the sweet drink mixed with Aragorn's own flavor.
"That is good." I said when I had savored the traces on Aragorn's tongue. "I would like some more." The ranger smiled and brought the wineskin to his lips. Then he gave me to drink from his mouth. After we had both had a few more sips the mead was put aside and I led Aragorn to my bed.
"Haldir, I-" Aragorn started as I got on the bed and pulled him with me.
"Shh." I soothed forestalling any further speech. "I am yours tonight. Do not explain. Do not ask. I want it this way. Just be yourself." Every instinct I possessed was crooning that I was going to enjoy this assignment very much indeed. It was such a rare thing that the path of duty led to my own pleasure. I intended to savor this.
Aragorn was thoughtful for only a moment before he decided. Then his weight against my chest bore me down and I lay back with the man pressing kisses to my face and neck. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once as he kissed me thoroughly. His passion burned slowly but with inexorable force, growing ever stronger as it fed on itself. I found myself moaning helplessly as I was slowly consumed by my human lover's heat and fervor.
My open mouth dragged desperately across Aragorn's bearded cheek, closed around his jaw then opened again and dragged downward once more. The pulse in my groin had become a fierce throb. Writhing beneath the man I encountered his own rigid and swollen erection. Frantically I bucked and contorted struggling to attain so much friction against the man that one might have thought I wanted to start a fire in earnest.
Above me Aragorn stopped kissing me, his eyes squeezed shut and his hands closed into fists. A harsh groan clawed its way out of his throat. Taking advantage of the freedom caused by my human lover's distraction I moved with even greater urgency rubbing against him. Strangling another groan Aragorn brought his hands down firmly on my hips, stilling them. I had to gulp down several ragged breaths to keep from sobbing in frustration.
Aragorn kissed me for several minutes more while keeping my hips mercilessly pinned to the mattress. The pace of the kisses gradually diminished until the man finally stopped and raised himself upright. Placing one more kiss on my forehead Aragorn reached for the wineskin and took several long swallows.
"Thirsty?" He asked gently caressing my chest and belly with his free hand.
I nodded vigorously. My mouth had gone very dry with desire and I had been licking away the salt sweat that had gathered on my human lover's face and neck. Aragorn handed me the wineskin as I sat up. As the honeyed liquid coursed down my throat the man bent his head and took my nipple into his mouth. I moaned against the flow of the mead and a line of the reddish brown drink dripped down my chin.
Hurriedly I put aside the wineskin and lay back dragging Aragorn down with me. Smiling the man swiped his tongue across my chin collecting the trickle of mead. Then he returned to my nipple tugging it gently between his teeth and sucking at it. I tangled my fingers in his hair and tried not pull him against me with too much force. When he had turned my first nipple into a tingling bud of rock hard nerves he turned to the other giving it the same treatment.
Then my lover sat up once more taking hold of my wrists to keep me from preventing him from leaving. He reached for the wineskin again but did not drink. Instead he poured a little across my belly, watching it pool in my naval with hungry eyes. He lapped at the mead like a cat and I had to squeeze my eyes shut and grab fistfuls of the bedclothes to keep from thrashing about on the bed.
Aragorn poured more mead, this time spilling it lower so that the cool liquid splashed against my burning erection. I whimpered piteously at the sensation. The next thing to cross my awareness was my human lover's fist as it closed over me. Aragorn tugged once. I could feel every callous on his hand and it was terrible that he stopped after one brief touch.
Then the man was scooping my knees up until my thighs rested against my stomach. I held my legs in place while Aragorn spilled more mead between my buttocks. Then the man stretched his hand up to my mouth and I drew his fingers in leaving little teeth marks around his second and third knuckles in my enthusiasm. Aragorn's fingers thrust in and out of my mouth while I tried to hold them in with heat and suction. My human lover obviously approved for his other hand squeezed my hip ardently.
Finally, he withdrew his now slick fingers from my mouth and pushed slowly between my buttocks. I closed my eyes to better experience the sensation as the nerves around my entrance began to sizzle. Another finger entered me with little difficulty, my body adjusting naturally around them. My human lover stroked my insides exploring the tight heat and pushing deeper. The third finger, wetted I guessed, by more wine started me purring softly.
His fingers worked me, stretching, curling, twisting. I was becoming increasingly eager for what came next. I was more than ready and to demonstrate my impatience I started rocking against the man's fingers. Then, suddenly, I was empty Aragorn moved forward kissing me, pressing my legs even harder into my stomach by his weight. Then before I could even kiss back the man was gone again. I heard the splash of mead being poured and then I felt a little nudge. In the next instant Aragorn had thrust his rock hard shaft all the way into me. If I had been a man I would have been in agony. Even as I was I felt too small to contain him without bursting apart. Even as I lay there, however, unconsciously holding my breath, my body began adjusting to accommodate him. Aragorn remained perfectly still, waiting.
In a moment or two I remembered to breathe. The alarm signals shooting up and down my nerves ebbed and I was able to begin to appreciate what I was feeling. Experimentally I shifted my hips. Oh, that was good, so very good. Understanding that I had recovered from the initial shock Aragorn began to move in slow even strokes. Oh. And that was better! Changing his angle a little and pushing my feet over my head the man delved in search of the pleasure center buried deep within me. When he found it my vision went blurry as lightening seemed to strike out form my middle leaving my balls tight and my head dizzy.
All my focus narrowed to the man inside me. Nothing else registered. I was immersed in the rhythm of his thrusts. Every once in a while he would aim for my pleasure center again but not too often. He set an easy pace, making it clear that this could last all night and I gave myself up to it completely. I rocked my hips to meet the man's thrusts gently, wanting it to last forever.
I had lost track of time. Had it been hours? Days? I could almost believe that for I was in a place where time was different. The only way to tell one moment from the one before was the slow but steady increase in pressure. It was one small step closer to climax. Aragorn could feel it too, I was certain, for he had increased the number of times he aimed for my pleasure spot. When the man reached for the tender and aching flesh of my erection I knew it was close. It took only a few quick strokes and then my body simply took off. Somewhere in the distance I heard Aragorn cry out but I was far away from all that soaring to the land of the gods.
I was still twitching a little when I returned to my physical form. No longer folded in half I could see the sweat glistening all over me. Aragorn lay beside me breathing hard, our shoulders just touching. I had only the foggiest memory of him pulling out of me and then collapsing onto his back. A puddle of my seed cooled on my belly and rather feebly I reached for a corner of the sheet to wipe it away. I really had to do this more often; I decided, I felt so wonderful. It was not that I lacked for opportunities but somehow I just hadn't been particularly in the mood recently. More fool me, I suppose.
After a few more moments spent recuperating I turned toward my human lover. "My gods, man." I said with genuine appreciation as well as the knowledge that a little flattery never came amiss. "I had heard rumors that Isildur's heir was skilled with his sword but one must experience it for oneself to really appreciate the truth of that."
"You talk like that, lovely elf, and I shall become unbearably conceited." Aragorn replied between heavy breaths. His tone was somewhat light but I could tell my comment had embarrassed him a little. For some reason his embarrassment further endeared him to me.
"Besides, Haldir, you have a great deal of skill yourself." The man added turning his head a little to kiss my shoulder.
We lay contentedly together recovering our strength. After a time Aragorn reached to the floor and retrieved the blanket. He covered himself with half of it. He was cold again, how enchanting. Now covered himself, he held up the second half of the quilt and gave me a questioning look. I nodded placidly and the man draped the rest of the blanket over me. "You look amused, Haldir." Aragorn commented lying down and adjusting his pillow.
"I am rather" I replied. "I expected something quite different tonight."
"Oh?" The ranger asked sounding fond and a little curious.
"Absolutely, I thought you would want to slap me around a little." I answered truthfully but with a trace of a grin. I felt very relaxed.
"Do I impress you as a particularly violent person, Haldir?" Aragorn asked. There was concern in his voice as he turned on his side to look at me.
"No. But that was why I thought you might fancy something violent. All that dependability, steadfast responsibility and gentle vigilance has to take a toll. If you are going to let your companions use you to exorcize their demons it's only fair you have the opportunity to let your own demons have a bit of fun. A person can only take so many demands without needing to make a few demands in his turn." I said reasonably. Then after a moment I continued. "I meant what I said before. I am yours tonight. I would have allowed you to strike me, Aragorn."
The man's eyes widened at that. "I would not have thought that was something you were inclined to permit."
I laughed softly. "Don't you know that what a person permits in his bed with a willing partner has nothing to do with what he permits in the world outside his chamber. I would have enjoyed playing a game of 'enraged human and helpless elf' with you. But" I continued my voice becoming serious, "come the dawn woe betide any who would raise a hand to Haldir, March Warden and Guardian of the Golden Wood." I didn't want the man getting any sort of idea that I could be taken advantage of.
"I can see the distinction. Even so, I would not play such a game. At least. . . I would not without a very thorough discussion of the rules." The man said sighing deeply as his body reminded him that it was exhausted.
"Well, like as not that is a wise course. I, myself, am not one to be so cautious. Now that you mention it, however, I can see that such a discussion could be fun, too." I chuckled softly, reaching for then squeezing the man's hand.
A little later I rose from the bed. It was nearly morning and I had not checked the patrol in more than a day but more importantly I had to think what I would say in my report to Galadriel. Naturally, I would be honest with my lady but that didn't mean I couldn't save a little of her time by omitting some minor, trivial fact now and then When I saw her, however, I had to have my story in perfect order or she would worry even the smallest, most unimportant detail out of me.
"Haldir." Came Aragorn's voice thick with sleep. I had thought the man dead to the world but he must either sleep very lightly or only have been drowsing.
"Yes." I asked looking around for a clean pair of leggings.
"If you have no pressing business I would like you to stay a while."
"Well, it takes all sorts, doesn't it." I said gaily, pleased more than I would have been able to guess. "But, I suppose I did promise." I continued, heaving a mock sigh and climbing back under the quilt.
"Mine for the night." The man confirmed sleepily.
"Yours for the night." I agreed. The next moment I was asleep.
When I woke the sun had already been several hours in the sky. I was a bit irritated for I had not intended to sleep at all. I got up and dressed quickly. This time Aragorn did not so much as stir as I prepared for the day. When I was ready to depart I looked at the man a moment. I was struck with the sudden impulse to deliver some parting touch. I restrained myself, though. It was better not to risk waking him. I'm sure he needed his sleep.
I took the reports of the various patrol captains with a little more brusqueness than was my wont. I knew Galadriel wanted to hear from me and it was never wise to keep the lady of the Golden Wood waiting. As usual there was nothing out of the ordinary in the vicinity of Lorien. My lady had long since put a stop to longer forays into our surroundings on the grounds that nothing so far away could threaten her kingdom. As soon as it was clear all my captains had to discuss was the unexpectedly late migration of the seren bird I dismissed them and prepared for my audience.
Entering the small clearing Galadriel used as a throne room I bowed before my lady. At her gracious nod I recited a fairly accurate account of the events of the last few days as they pertained to Lady Arwen's betrothed. My only aberration from an entirely complete report was that I chose to gloss over the bits of our conversation where Aragorn and I specifically spoke of my lady. It would do Galadriel no harm to remain ignorant of our exact words and more to the point it would do me no harm.
"Do you believe the man trusts you?" My queen asked when I had finished.
"I believe he trusts me, gentle mistress mine, to the extent I am worthy of it." Galadriel frowned at my evasiveness but I had no more descriptive answer to give her.
"And he said nothing, did nothing that could be of use to me?" The lady asked abandoning the question of trust for the time being.
"I would be better able to answer that if I knew your purposes." I said softly.
"Knowledge, Haldir. My purpose is to gain knowledge, knowledge of the man whose ancestor's blood lust still reeks havoc, knowledge of the man my daughter's husband took into her home, knowledge of the man who would woo my daughter's daughter from her people, knowledge of the man who seeks to hold sway over middle-earth when we have passed, knowledge of his every word and deed, his very thought. I want to know every last stirring of the man's heart. Is that not a noble purpose, March Warden?" My lady demanded as I bowed to the very ground. During the course of her speech my lady had seemed to grow tall and terrible, lit from within by a beautiful but searing light. All the color drained from my vision and the earth itself seemed to rumble in accompaniment to her voice. Her power was unanswerable.
Seeing my submission Galadriel continued in her more accustomed tone: "You had opportunity, Haldir, to watch the man at close quarters All males, but men most particularly, are unguarded and overconfident during love play. Tell me of that. Did you learn anything, then, that I should be made aware of?"
"You need not worry for my lady Arwen on that score, madam. She will have no cause to regret her choice on those grounds. There were moments when I would have been willing to surrender my own immortality. The man is quite competent." I answered a bit blithely for I was a little irritated that my lady had used her power in such an utterly unnecessary display of intimidation. I was, after all, her loyal adherent and I already knew her strength. She had nothing to prove to me.
"You would speak of my daughter's daughter and of my own pain with such irreverence." In retrospect, there were probably warnings, something in Galadriel's tone or something in her eyes. My lady was not always in the mood for banter and she was always touchy about her family even at the best of times. Usually I had a good sense of what she would and would not tolerate. Perhaps I even saw the signs and knew, on some level, that I should not push but for reasons I only dimly understood I pushed anyway. Thus, I must bear some portion of responsibility for what happened next.
"I had no intention of being disrespectful, my lady. I was simply trying to point out a potential bright side." A second after the last word left my mouth I felt a stinging pain on the right side of my face. It took me a moment to realize that Galadriel had slapped me, backhanded across the face. I could only stand there stunned, shocked to my very core.
Soon, though, I recovered myself enough to let my back straighten and my shoulders drop until I was in an attitude of formal attention. I did not touch my cheek, though I could feel the unnatural heat of it radiating like a bonfire. There was something wet wending its way down my face and for a horrified moment I thought it might be a tear but my eyes were scratchy and dry, almost painfully dry as if the heat of my face had burned away all the moisture. I darted a quick glance at my lady's hand then and I realized that the wetness was blood. Her ring must have cut me. Galadriel also looked at her hand after seeing the blood on my face. She looked confused for just the briefest of moments but then she was herself again, regal and aloof. She sought my eyes and I met her gaze. I let nothing show in my eyes neither anger nor sorrow, neither reproach nor regret.
"You have done very well, Haldir. You have become close to the man in a short time and you have told me much that I did not know." I listened to my lady's praise with the appearance of polite attention as I waited for her next orders. "The fellowship will leave here the day after tomorrow. They will travel by boat, down the Anduin. I would like you to follow them and continue your observation of the man."
"Shall I travel with them?" My voice sounded strange in my ears as though it came from someone else.
"No, in fact, I don't want you to interfere in any way with their journey. I don't want them to know you are there. Thus, I would prefer if you were to travel on foot. The current is unpredictable and there is a chance Legolas would detect you. Leave now so that you can get ahead of them. Travel along the river wherever possible. You know the country. You know where they will be most likely to camp. You will also be able to travel at night so with luck you will be able to keep up with them."
I processed these instructions silently. Yes, I probably would be able to track them if I had a head start and if I ran through the night. What I didn't understand was why. Surely, it would be better if I traveled with them openly. I could observe the man more easily and I might actually improve the odds of the ring quest succeeding. 'Perhaps' I thought grimly, 'my lady does not trust me too near to such power.' Then there was Aragorn himself. Should some excuse be made for my abrupt departure? Would he find it curious or even insulting if I did not give him some parting word? It might be that Galadriel assumed the man would just suppose that it was natural for elves to come and go on a whim. Ordinarily I would have just blurted out my question but right now I wasn't sure I wanted to speak to my lady at all.
"Do you think you will be able to do this, Haldir?"
"Yes, my lady, although, I will not be able to observe much while the fellowship is on the river." I answered stonily. The blood no longer oozed down my cheek now and I could feel the flesh around the small cut knitting together. I heard my own smug words spoken to Aragorn the night before repeat mockingly in my head. This had never happened before and, in truth, I didn't know what to do or if I should do anything at all.
"That's all right. They will not be on the river too long." Something about the lady's tone made me think that this was more than simple supposition on her part. My guess was confirmed by Galadriel's next words. "I would not send you passed the Black Gate into the Dark Lord's domain, Haldir. My mirror has shown me: the man will not go to Mordor."
"Will he take the ring?" I asked a bit incredulously. Anything was possible but I had trouble believing that Aragorn would do such a thing.
"I don't know." Galadriel replied unhappily. "The mirror does not tell me why the man abandons the quest. If he does take the ring of power or if another in the fellowship takes it then I want to know immediately but whatever transpires you are my eyes and ears. Eventually, I want to use the relationship you have established with the man to watch him at less of a distance but for now I don't want him to know my eyes are upon him."
"As you wish, my lady."
"I have had Rumil prepare your provisions. He is waiting by the southern checkpoint. In your absence who would you have command the guard?" Galadriel asked, though she clearly anticipated my choice by having my brother ready to speak with me.
"Rumil is quite capable." I replied.
"Excellent, you can give him whatever orders you deem necessary when you collect your supplies." My lady said in a businesslike voice. Taking this as a dismissal I bowed but before I could take my leave Galadriel called me back.
I waited patiently as my queen took a handkerchief from her sleeve and dipped into a glass of water. Approaching me, my lady dabbed my cheek with the wet cloth. I could tell the blood vessels were no longer dilated. The swelling had gone down. Even that awful burning heat had diminished. If there had been a bruise it was almost certainly gone by now and Galadriel was cleaning up the last physical indication that she had struck me. When all the dried blood had been wiped away, my lady took a step backward and looked me over.
"There is no longer any marking." She told me quietly but she was wrong. I could still feel her hand against my cheek and I knew I would see the marking for a long time to come. Bowing again I turned to go and this time my lady did not call me back.
I found Rumil sitting on the bank of the Anduin watching the fish move like quicksilver through the clear water. He had taken off his shoes and rolled up his legging passed the knee to dangle his feet in the mighty river. He hummed softly to himself. Beside him was a light pack filled, no doubt, with provisions for my journey. Using all my stealth I crept forward until I was right beside my brother.
"Well, this is a pretty sight!" I called out.
"Haldir!" Rumil cried clambering gracefully- if one could clamber gracefully- to his feet.
"I shall return to find orcs in my bed if this is the sort of vigilance over our borders that may be expected in my absence." I chastised.
"I have been found out. And I already have plans to show your talan to a very nice orc family this very afternoon. Now what shall I tell them? They will be so disappointed." Rumil answered in imitation of my own insouciance.
"Well, little brother, cut me into the profits and I might be persuaded to overlook a small orcish presence."
Rumil laughed and clapped my shoulder affectionately. "Have you any orders for me, my captain?" In spite of his attempt to appear cool I could tell Rumil was excited. He had so few opportunities that even taking over my drudge work seemed to him an exciting adventure. Suddenly, I felt quite sad. My brother had a great deal of potential.
"Haldir?" The sound of my name brought me back to myself and I smiled.
"Any orders?" I repeated collecting my thoughts. "Let's see: there is nothing you don't already know. Keep the badgers away from our arrow caches. Remember there is no such thing as a lone orc. If you spot one do not rest until you have caught and killed the entire group. Be ever mindful of your surroundings. If there is trouble the forest will know it first, so listen. Also, discourage Drienne from going on patrol. If he insists then pair him with someone responsible. In his mind Drienne is halfway to Valinor. He is liable to get distracted and just wander off if you are not careful." I concluded, certain that Rumil would be able to handle anything that came up.
"Are you quite all right, my dear? You don't seem entirely yourself." Rumil said studying me with a concerned expression.
"I am fine. Best worry about yourself, little one, and the awesome responsibility of living up to the nigh impossible standard set by your perfect older brother." I told him, touched by his concern.
"Well then, perfect older brother, I wish you a successful journey for everything here is well in hand." Rumil laughed. We embraced a moment. Then I took up the pack he had prepared for me and headed south east along the river.
After I had gone a few miles I stopped to test the strength of the current. Keeping track of the fellowship while they were on the river would be difficult. First off, I did not know how often they would stop. Also the fellowship could choose to abandon the river at any place they stopped. From what my lady had said I supposed the fellowship were going to change their plans without warning, most likely in response to some sudden crisis. The sooner my quarry left the river the easier it would be for me to follow them but until then if I tried to keep them in sight I would soon be out distanced. I guessed that they would stop for meals at the hobbits' insistence and occasional scouting expeditions. This was good because it would slow their progress making it easier for me to keep up.
There were not really that many places where an inexperienced person would be able to land the boats. Steep, rocky banks bordered the river as did sucking mud and dangerous tangle vines. I would not have to comb the entire river bank if I lost them but I could not run along the bank for the entire journey. I did not know when the fellowship would leave the river but my strategy was going to be to pick out the most likely place they would camp wait until they came into view and then move as fast as I could to the next place they would be likely to come ashore. When the fellowship did not show up where I expected I would have to go back and find the place where they had left the river and then follow overland. So much depended on the accuracy of my guesses and the amount of time it would take me to discover when they abandoned the river.
I reveled in the challenge. I was determined to shadow my assigned target even if I had to run for a week straight. I would outrun the river if I had to and then I would track them across the shale and slag of Mordor itself. Of course, my lady had said that that would not be necessary. I was almost disappointed. I did not care to express an opinion upon the idea that spying on Aragorn would be of much benefit to Arwen or Galadriel but even so I felt that I was doing something important, something that would take skill and diligence but would ultimately make a great deal of difference for the good.
Despite my confidence, it was with great relief that on my third day out I saw, from my vantage point atop a small hill, three boats come ashore just where I had predicted. I had arrived several hours earlier and I had eaten and rested as much as my nervous excitement would permit. The fellowship arrived later than I expected and I had been on the point of retracing my steps when I finally saw them. Grinning with satisfaction I waited until the group had laid out their bedrolls. Then I started off again. If I ran through the night I could catch sight of them around noon and hopefully gain a bit of ground while they ate.
I did catch a glimpse of them around the hobbits' midday feeding but they were already in the midst of their meal when I saw them. They had made better time than yesterday, perhaps becoming better able to navigate their boats. Giving their picnic site a wide berth, for I did not see Legolas or Boromir and they could have been lurking anywhere nearby, I continued running. Already they were outdistancing me. Sighing I increased my speed.
It was early evening and I had slowed down considerably. Something felt wrong and whatever it was I did not want to dash into it all unawares. The forest was too quiet. It should have been full of birdsong and the chitter of small animals. Instead there was utter silence. Even the trees were quiet. I slowed to a walk. I did not like this at all. I was close to the place where I had guessed the fellowship would stop for the night. I would check it quickly and if they were not there I would leave this place as quickly as I could. Then I heard it. The sound of a horn rang out clearly through the forest. Without pausing I started to run in the direction of the sound unslinging my bow as I went.
I had not gone far when I started to hear the clash and cry of battle. From the sound of it there seemed to be several skirmishes going on at once. I couldn't guess how the enemy's forces managed to split the fellowship. Surely, the group knew better than to separate and go traipsing about on their own. Even Aragorn's little darling, the all-favored ringbearer would be in for a severe talking to if he were responsible for this. I hesitated a moment drawn to the sound of several altercations. In the end, however, I remained fixed on the call of the horn, presuming that I would find the greatest need there.
Finally, I emerged from the thick trees into a clearing. I took in Boromir surrounded by orcs fighting fiercely enough for an army. Merry and Pippin stood near him struggling valiantly. I was a little surprised for the orcs around the hobbits did not appear to be trying to kill their small quarry. Saruman must have told his minions to bring back any hobbits alive rather than simply killing them and stripping their bodies. Now that was a sad commentary: If a half-mad traitor Istari could not trust his own demon-spawned slaves then what was middle-earth coming to.
I took all this in at a glance and then something unexpected caught and held my attention. A monster, perhaps twice the size of the largest orc watched the man and hobbits struggle with cold and cruel intelligence. His ugliness was enough to shrivel the heart of even the bravest elf. It was as though someone had gone out of his way to pour everything foul and obscene into one being. Saruman had surpassed himself. The corruption of nature in his form and substance left me faint for a moment.
As I stared at the thing, wasting precious time as my senses recovered themselves, the monster raised and aimed a bow the size of a man. With a creak that I knew instinctively was the same sound my spine would make the moment before it snapped the creature drew and fired. The missile struck Boromir in the chest with all the force of shot from a catapult. The hobbits screamed in pain and anger and struck at their foe with renewed viciousness. The shrill, anguished cry of the little ones broke me from my trance. The monster notched another arrow as I stood, still unnoticed, near the tree line.
With all the speed of a somewhat tardy champion of light I loosed my arrow before the creature fired a second shot. I struck it in the hand and skewed its aim. The result of my interference was that the second arrow went through Boromir's arm rather than his heart. The man hardly seemed to notice, though, as he poured all his focus into keeping his killing sword between the hobbits and the worst of the orc forces. The monster snarled and dropped the bow. Turning toward me he yanked my arrow from where it had lodged in his hand. Usually I didn't mind when my opponent turned out to be a showoff. It just made them easier, and more fun, to defeat. This time, however, I confess I was a little impressed.
I got off one more arrow before discarding my bow and drawing my knives. I had aimed for the thing's heart but whether my shot had been slowed by its armor or whether the atrocity rapidly approaching me simply lacked a heart to hit the arrow did not slow him. The shaft protruded from his chest and he pulled it out with a bit of a flourish as he advanced the tip black with blood.
Closing the distance between us the thing slashed downward in a blow intended to cleave my head in two. I halted the descending stroke with the crossed hilts of my knives. Even so, I was staggered. Ultimately, this worked in my favor, however, since the monster used its free hand to punch me in the side. If I had been firmly balanced it probably would have shattered my ribs but as I was already unsteady I fell sideways instead of having to fully absorb the blow.
Only a second after I hit the ground the monster was after me skewering the forest floor where I had just been. Frantically I rolled away. I had no time to regain my feet I simply kept rolling until the behemoth accidently struck his weapon into a log. While it pulled its sword free I took up a fighting stance, slashing quickly at the monster while it still worked to free its weapon. The thing barely noticed the cut I made across its shoulder as its sword came loose.
All my concentration was upon the creature before me but occasionally some other sound from the battle would penetrate my consciousness. Somehow Boromir was still fighting. I heard his labored breathing and cries of attack. I no longer heard Merry and Pippin but it seemed to me that their cries had faded as with distance. I could not have said whether they had been killed or carried off. I could not even have said which fate would have been better for the little ones.
I had no luxury for musing, however. The creature was stalking me once more. I ducked and dodged, evading its blade by increasingly narrow margins. I was becoming increasingly frustrated with my seeming inability to hurt the monster. It was just playing with me, I realized leaping backward just ahead of a slash that would have opened my belly. I determined that I would not let the creature bring me down without getting in at least one good hit. The next time it struck at my side I turned away bringing both my knives up to slash at the creatures unprotected side and I was caught. As I turned I felt the skin of my back and shoulder separate. Quickly deciding discretion was the better part of valor I abandoned my il-advised attempt at offense. I danced away again escaping with a long but hopefully shallow slash.
So much of my focus was on the monster that I did not see the orc until it was almost too late. Creeping up behind me the craven beast slashed at my hamstring but I was able to bury my knife in its throat before it could strike home. The distraction was enough for my more formidable foe, however. The end of the monster orc's weapon was hurtling toward my chest and though I saw it I knew there would be no time to turn it aside.
Miraculously though, the blow was deflected from its target, but not by me. Boromir, inexplicably still on his feet despite an arrow in his chest and another through his arm, brought his sword down upon the monster's so that both blades struck the dirt. The creature howled with rage and something else, excitement perhaps. Apparently the over-sized orc thought two opponents came closer to approaching a genuine challenge. I would have given a hundred years of my life to see that smug dung heap trip over its spiked boots- only I doubted I had a hundred years left to give.
There were not many orcs left alive but those that were tried to circle us. They attacked with feints and did their best to divert us from the monster. The monster itself smiled and took a step back, sizing up its hoped-for kill with bestial glee. I tried to catch Boromir's eye but I don't think he even recognized me. He must have opposed the monster just at that time from pure protective instinct, maybe in his pain hazed mind he even believed me to be his companion Legolas. The man did not have enough left in him to try a coordinated attack.
Cocking his head back arrogantly the monster orc snarled and threw his fist at Boromir's face. The man made an effort to step aside but his feet must have grown heavy and leaden with the ever increasing effort of battle for he stumbled. The creature struck him hard at his temple and Boromir crumpled. Snorting with satisfaction the thing raised its sword-arm for the killing stroke
I suppose I had already made the decision not to run. I might have escaped even now; it was possible but without fully realizing it I had decided to commit myself entirely to this battle. From there it was a small step to decide not to let my momentary comrade-in-arms be cut down in front of me while I strategized. I flew at the monster's arm. The thing made a gurgling rumble which I realized was laughter. Seizing a fistful of my hair the foul creature pulled me off and then it lifted me at least a foot off the ground bringing us face to face.
"Wait your turn, elf." The large orc breathed at me. Gods, the thing was disgusting.
"But I want you now." I answered smiling passed the bile rising in my throat. Shifting as I hung in the air I aimed a kick at the beast's groin.
Alerted by my movement as I dangled from his grip the monster caught the direction of my attack and twisted his hips to the side. It was funny seeing the mighty orc monster mince away and I laughed even as my kick struck the thing in the thigh.
Howling with rage- and for all I knew indignation at my dirty tactics- the large orc shook me violently. Then it simply threw me aside. I sailed several feet before landing hard on my back. My head bounced sickeningly against the ground and I lay still while the world spun around me. I had no doubt the creature was going to use all of its undersized brain to plan a particularly nasty death for me. Well, I couldn't say I hadn't been warned, just about everyone I had ever met had predicted that a slow death by torture would be my fortune. Although, some spoke more in the way of hope than of prophecy.
From where I lay I could see Boromir still kneeling where he had fallen. I did not particularly want to watch the man die but I found I had very little control of my body. I could not seem to turn my head or even close my eyes. Resigned, I watched as the blond man swayed a little on his knees waiting for death. The monster was about to oblige when it was struck from the side. I was not a particularly pious elf, but nevertheless lightening from the Valar occurred to me as a distinct possibility. Then I saw him clearly. Aragorn had finally arrived.
A fierce battle ensued but a veil seemed to have fallen over my perceptions. My senses remained clear but somewhat distanced. The man and monster fought. Inexplicably, the final result seemed inevitable to me. No other outcome was possible. When Aragorn struck off the monster's head, a small sigh escaped me. It was as though my body recognized the end of an often heard and beloved story.
Aragorn looked about him. He stood alone, his sword in his hand. There were none left to give him challenge. The few orcs that had stood with the monster had disappeared. There was so much death all around. The man surveyed the carnage with extreme anxiety, his gaze raked over the bodies searching for friends. He saw me first and ran quickly to my side.
"Haldir!" The voice was surprised but perhaps not all that surprised. As the man knelt beside me he caught sight of Boromir who lay against a great tree trunk. A tremor ran through Aragorn at the sight of his liege-man and there was grief in his eyes.
Collecting himself Aragorn returned his attention to me. Urgently the man ran his hands over me, searching for injuries. The search was quick-almost hasty- but efficient. Determining that my wounds while bad enough were not fatal the examination ceased. Aragorn was obviously desperate to attend to Boromir but he did not rise immediately. Instead he placed one hand on my forehead and the other on my chest. There was no more urgency in his touch. It was no more than a second or two but a wave of calm and peace washed over me. Everything was all right. In the next moment Aragorn had gone to see to Boromir.
Boromir's eyes had closed and one might have supposed he was dead but as Aragorn's shadow fell upon the blond man his eyes flickered open. "The ring, I tried to take the ring from Frodo. Is he dead?" he murmured in anguish.
"Frodo will go on to complete the quest. I saw him. I let him go." Aragorn answered sounding a little distracted as he assessed the blond man's condition.
"You did it, then. You are stronger than I. Oh gods, why didn't I let myself see that? I was so blind. I could not see passed myself and my own desires. Now I have let them take little Merry and Pippin." Guilt and remorse permeated Boromir's voice as he struggled over his words. "They took them, lord. I could not stop them."
"We will find them, Boromir, but first you must be quiet and conserve your strength." Aragorn soothed as he cut away the cloth around the arrow in Boromir's chest.
"What strength?" The blond warrior barked a laugh which quickly turned into a cough. "I have failed my people. I have failed the quest. I have failed you. I deserve to die. What would my father say of me now?" The last was a cry ripped from the man's heart.
"You have not failed Boromir nor do you deserve death. We will save our people. Hold on, Steward's son, hold on." Aragorn's admonishments were growing increasingly desperate as he worked the man free of his clothes and felt around his wounds.
"Our people? Say you truth, my king? You will protect the White City? Swear it! I beg you, swear." Boromir had become so agitated that Aragorn had to leave off attending to his wounds and press the man's shoulders down.
"I swear I will devote all the strength within me to Gondor and our people." Aragorn answered solemnly. Then he pushed Boromir's shoulders down with greater firmness. "Now, lay you still." This was unquestionably a command and Boromir sighed while all the tension drained from his body.
"Aye, my lord. Where you lead there shall I follow." Boromir murmured slipping into unconsciousness. The ranger intensified his efforts, easing the blond man all the way down to the ground. Then he went to his pack searching for medicines.
"Aragorn!" The dwarf's voice sounded through the forest.
"Here!"
There was the sound of approaching footsteps When they were close Aragorn called out without looking up from his pack. "Legolas, Gimli, look to Haldir. Then put a kettle to boil as soon a may be."
"Haldir?" The dwarf asked panting slightly as he came upon Aragorn frantically mixing several of his herbs for Boromir. Then Gimli saw me and blinked in confusion. Legolas who was by his friend's side came over to me and began a somewhat less skilled but more thorough examination of my injuries.
Obviously deciding his questions could wait the dwarf pulled himself together. Gimli quickly built a fire and poured water from his canteen into a small cauldron. Both elf and dwarf darted frequent looks at Aragorn and Boromir but neither said anything. They kept their worry to themselves, understanding that when Aragorn needed something or had something to report he would speak. When the water had started to simmer Gimli turned his attention to Legolas who had concluded his examination and was placing a folded cloak beneath my head. "Is he dead?" The dwarf whispered carefully, uncertain what to make of my stillness.
"No, he is in a healing trance. By morning he will be healthier than you are now." Legolas said cleaning the blood off of me the best he could.
"The gods indeed love you." Gimli said not quite bitterly as he surveyed my battered form. "Can he hear us? I have the sense he is watching us."
"I don't know, probably. It is different for each elf. Some are utterly oblivious to their surroundings and remember nothing when they wake. Others can actually get up, move about, perform routine tasks. Most of us, however, see and hear but are removed, aware of what is happening but caring little." Legolas explained and though he smoothed my hair back as he spoke his eyes were focused on the two men.
"Well, that shouldn't be too dramatic an adjustment for Haldir." Gimli commented forcing himself to sit down beside Legolas rather than pace back and forth as his impatience demanded. The elf gave his companion a mildly disapproving look. Apparently the prince of Mirkwood was brought up in the school that taught it was all right to think something so long as one never said it. "What do you suppose he is doing here?" Gimli asked cracking his knuckles to dissipate some of his nervous energy.
Legolas shrugged. "The lady must have sent him."
"Ah, 'tis well. She likely had some fear for us and sent us what help she could." Gimli agreed, touched by Galadriel's concern. "She is indeed a great and good lady." Legolas had nothing to say to that and the two lapsed into a brief silence before the dwarf's worry drove him to make further conversation.
"So after a battle do all injured elves just sort of flop over?" Gimli asked giving me an appraising glance before returning his gaze to his companions.
"No. Only serious injuries can induce a trance. It is an automatic response but an elf has to feel safe before he succumbs. Usually that doesn't happen for hours but in this case Haldir hit his head. For whatever reason that must have made him more susceptible." Legolas gave the dwarf a complete reply but it was obvious he did not really care to talk. Making an effort to respect his friend's mood Gimli did not ask anything further.
"Gimli, Legolas, I need your help." Aragorn said finally breaking the silence.
The elf and dwarf were at his side in an instant. Aragorn's body had blocked the view of what he was doing but as the man leaned back stretching his neck and back Boromir became visible. The blond man's head was bandaged where he had been struck. There was evidence of some sticky substance adorning other of Boromir's injuries but the biggest problems were the arrows. Aragorn had cut the shaft of the arrow in the blond man's chest so that it protruded only four or five inches. All about the place where the arrow entered the man's chest Aragorn had packed medicines.
The other arrow protruded from out either side of Boromir's upper arm. Aragorn had removed the hard metal tip from the one side and stripped the flethcing from the other. He was now ready to remove the arrow and it was for that purpose that he had called his companions.
"Hold him still. I want to do this as quickly as possible." Aragorn ordered. Faces grimly set the elf and dwarf took hold of their injured companion and braced themselves ready for him to struggle.
Jaw clenched Aragorn set the shaft of the arrow alight with a brand from the fire. Then taking hold of the opposite side he pulled the burning shaft through Boromir's arm. The blond man had not finished his first scream when the ranger flung the arrow aside and started tying a bandage around his arm. There was little blood and there would be little risk of infection thanks to the fire but Aragorn was awash with sweat from the effort of causing- even necessary- pain. The blond man writhed and groaned in the arms of his friends for several moments. Then exhaustion overtook him and he quieted.
Two anxious pairs of eyes sought the ranger as soon as Boromir stilled. "Will he be all right?" Gimli asked, finally giving voice to the question.
"I don't know." Aragorn answered scrubbing his hands down his face. "That arrow must come out of him soon but the arrow head has partially broken off. I don't have the medicines or the proper tools to go digging after it. Even if I did it would take hours. And then there is great risk he will die of the fever that even now is upon him."
"Was the arrow poisoned?" Legolas demanded sounding angry and helpless.
The ranger shook his head. "Not intentionally, but the arrow had been used before and it was still foul with the death of its first victim."
"What hope is there, then?" Gimli cried. "Every second we delay Sam and Frodo get further away. And gods, what of the fate of Merry and Pippin? What can we do?"
"I think we have no choice but to leave the quest in the hands of Frodo and Sam. Even if we abandoned the others, set off after them now and caught up to them a time would come when. . ." Aragorn paused for just a moment and checked to make sure the blond man slept so that he would infer no reproach in the ranger's words. "another and then another of us would fall to the ring's lure."
"Merry and Pippin have almost certainly been taken." Legolas said softly.
"Yes, Boromir said as much." Aragron replied unhappily. The elf did not quite have the courage to state the whole dilemma which was either: to stay, aid Boromir as best they might and look after me in my helplessness or to track and rescue Merry and Pippin from what could very well be a fate worse than death. Elf and dwarf looked to the man, needing him to tell them what to do.
"Haldir's injuries were not that severe. I am going to try and rouse him. If he comes round he can take Boromir to Lothlorien while we find Merry and Pippin." Aragorn informed the beleaguered company.
"Can that be done? I have never heard of a healing trance ever lasting less than 10 hours." Legolas put in concerned.
"I saw Elrond bring an elf out once. I have never done it myself but there should be no danger to Haldir. If I fail then he will wake by himself in the morning." Something in the ranger's tone alerted Legolas and he leaned forward to put an inhibitory hand on Aragorn's shoulder.
"No danger to Haldir you say, but what of yourself? What risk is there for you?" The elf spoke forcefully demanding a response.
"There is no danger to me."
Even the dwarf heard it this time. "Aragorn, what are you-" Gimli began but the ranger cut him off.
"I will try to wake him and if I cannot we will have a decision to make." Aragorn answered firmly. "Gimli will you bring the last of the hot water, please." The man continued effectively closing the subject.
"Aragorn," Legolas started and the ranger turned to him ready to crush the elf with his eyes if he broached the topic of Aragorn coming to any harm in an attempt to revive me but this was not the prince's idea. "What if Haldir wakes but refuses to take Boromir back to Lorien? What then?"
Gimli, who was not exactly sensitive to the nuances of what might be called the power politics of the elfin kingdoms, looked very much taken aback but Aragorn only sighed: "If Haldir refuses then the charge falls to you, my friend. Even at the risk of further splitting the fellowship we cannot abandon either Boromir or Merry and Pippin but perhaps it won't come to that." The prince looked as though he wanted to protest, perhaps with something along the lines of 'it's not fair' but recollected himself in time and bowed his head in acknowledgment.
Aragorn crushed several leaves and dropped them in the remaining water. Then, he brought the mixture and knelt by my side. The water smelled pungently of morning and the spring. The man sought my eyes and held them with his own. After dipping his fingers into the brew the ranger touched my temples and the pulse point of my throat. Very gently the man pressed down on my chest varying the time and amount of pressure in a strangely arrhythmic pattern. My body wanted to harmonize with Aragorn's design but as soon as the pattern became predictable to me, the man changed it subtly.
"Haldir." Aragorn spoke in less than a whisper but I heard him. My vision narrowed until all I could see were the man's slate grey eyes boring into mine with unnatural clarity. The aroma of the scented water filled my nostrils and the pressure of his hand on my chest seemed to crowd out any other feelings.
"Haldir." His voice was even softer but I heard it more clearly. Aragorn was becoming almost blindingly vivid. The pressure on my chest felt as though it was crushing me. I wanted to struggle against it, to break free. I needed to clear the now painfully sharp odor from my nose and to shield my eyes from the searing vision. Then, suddenly, I was gasping, my eyes squeezing tightly shut.
"Haldir! Are you all right?" Legolas demanded coming to my side. I struggled to sit up and the prince helped me. I hurt. I hurt a lot. My ribs were making breathing difficult. There was the awful prickling of a newly forming scab over my back and shoulder. My scalp ached terribly and my head throbbed but I was myself again.
Looking around I saw everything as I had seen it before, only now the world seemed closer, more real. I had my memories of all that had happened since Aragorn had appeared and killed the monster orc but it all seemed to have happened a long time ago. The ranger was just as he had been, kneeling beside me. Only now, I realized that his eyes were closed and he had not come to my aid when I had first struggled up. Legolas had noticed Aragorn's stillness now, too, and the prince looked ill.
"Aragorn?" The elf asked panicked but there was no response.
Gulping down a few more breaths I reached out to the man, touching his face: "Hail, lord of the dawn." I managed a little raggedly.
There was a silence and then very quietly the man spoke: "Hello Haldir." His eyes were still closed but a faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. The dwarf exhaled audibly in relief and Legolas sagged against me.
Opening his eyes finally Aragorn stared off into space for only a moment before focusing once more on me. "How do you feel?" He inquired looking me over.
"I feel like someone dragged my poor, wounded self out of a peaceful healing trance for his own purposes." I responded, grimacing at the unfamiliar discomfort of my body.
"Well, it is clear that you are back in touch with reality." Aragorn said giving me another small smile. "How much do you remember?"
"Enough to know what you expect from me." I answered facing the three companions. They looked at me, Gimli anticipating my quick assent, Legolas convinced I would refuse and Aragorn inscrutable. "Returning to Lorien now is not in accordance with my orders." I informed them keeping my head up with an effort. Legolas turned away in disgust and Gimli looked shocked.
"This is more important than your orders." The man said calmly. All very well for him to say. He had never heard Galadriel's lecture on priorities. Yet at the same time, I was not prepared to turn my back on the little group. Even if I had the stomach to abandon Boromir and forfeit the respect of the man, dwarf and elf before me I did not know if- in my current condition- I could keep up with Aragorn and Gimli as they hunted for the hobbits. Galadriel had told me to observe the man and not to interfere. I had already failed and when I thought about it: Wasn't Aragorn right? Wasn't trying to save a life more important than adding another speck of information to my lady's hoard?
"All right." I conceded unhappily. "But if upon your next visit to the Golden Wood you find that my lady has acquired a new Haldir skin rug then I hope you will feel very guilty."
"Thank you, Haldir. You are doing the right thing." Aragorn responded clasping my shoulder with affection. I could not help but smile for he had said that so sincerely.
Having made the decision we wasted no further time. Boromir was still unconscious as we all carried him as gently as possible to the shore Aragorn gave me instructions concerning the man's care and feeding. When the blond man had been laid carefully in one of the boats the ranger took me a little aside.
"Boromir has suffered a great injury to his spirit as well as to his body. Look after him. Do not let his mind drift too long in darkness. Keep him mindful of his duty and of his value to his people."
"Is that a command, lord king? I agreed to see him safely to the healers in Lorien not to adopt him." I responded raising an eyebrow.
"I think you will find the rewards worth the effort." Aragorn told me quietly which wasn't an answer to my question. I was about to point that out when Gimli came up to report that Boromir was settled.
"Are you ready?" The man asked.
"I shall need to put up a sail unless you expect me to row all the way to Lorien against the current." I said mindful of my still healing injuries.
"Will you need help?" Aragorn asked leading the way back to the boat.
"No, I think I can put up a mast and sail on one of my own boats, thank you very much." I said churlishly. I would go as quickly as I was able but I did not relish returning thus to Galadriel.
Aragorn only nodded without acknowledging my poor attitude for he was bent over Boronir. The blond man was unconscious but the ranger whispered to him anyway then he kissed the blond man's brow. Rising to his feet the man turned to me. "Haldir, I hope we shall meet agin until then I shall keep you in my thoughts. Legolas, Gimli, we have a lot of ground to cover." With that the man turned east and loped away.
"Give my regards to my lady." Gimli told me hurriedly before following the man at a heavy jog. Now only the prince of Mirkwood remained and that elf was giving me a very disconcerting look. To avoid his stare I began work assembling the mast. I expected the elf to turn and go at any moment but he didn't.
"What?" I finally demanded annoyed that I had allowed the scrutiny to bother me.
"I gave you fair warning." Legolas replied without changing his expression.
"I haven't the faintest idea what you are alluding to." I answered haughtily. If I didn't know better I would swear the impudent pup was gloating.
"Of course you don't. You are just a naturally helpful and compliant elf who always does what he thinks is right no matter his lady's instructions." Now he really was laughing at me.
"Don't you have some orcs to chase or did I just imagine that?" I said tartly.
The merriment departed from Legolas' expression and the solemnity returned. "The Valar guard you on your path, Haldir." The elf said sincerely.
"Yes and don't you stumble over a stone and tumble down any cliffs. You run along after your hobbits, now and stop pestering me." I said shortly. Legolas had the poor manners to grin before raising his hand in a final farewell and following his companions.
Boromir remained unconscious throughout the evening. When I launched the boat, however, he moaned at the unfamiliar motion of the water. He cried out in his sleep all that night. Sometimes he seemed to be speaking to Frodo alternating between bitter accusation and abject apology. Other times he called desperately for Merry and Pippin, his father or for someone- probably a brother- called Faramir. Only once did he speak Aragorn's name but he pronounced it with such terrible need and longing that I had to spend a long time staring out over the moonlit river before I trusted myself to turn back to the suffering man.
The occasional fevered moans and anguished pleas from the warrior in my care was only a part of the misery of that night. My various injuries made me terribly uncomfortable. I could neither be still nor move without intensifying the pain somewhere. The moon had hidden her face behind the clouds. The stars seemed to have gone pale with horror at the orc armies roaming middle-earth and I found the lack of light unnerving. On top of that, the darkness forced me to be an attentive navigator when the last thing I wanted to do was concentrate. More than that, the boat- on three separate occasions- had been caught up in a side eddy and I had had to use the ores to get free despite my aching and protesting body.
The worst of it all, however, were the dismal thought that plagued my mind. With only the black water to see and with only the cries of a dying human to hear there was nothing left for me to do but brood. I did not want to have to explain this situation to Galadriel. She would not understand. For my lady, there was only one sin: disobedience. Thus, she would assume I was being willful and I had no idea how to argue from the moral high ground as that was territory with which I was utterly unfamiliar. I really didn't mind being yelled at. That struck me as more or less fair but with my lady punishment was never simple. She would yell and when I was sufficiently contrite she would forgive me. Then I could look forward to years filled with disdainful looks, lightly veiled public insults and a glacial reception whenever my duty brought me into her august presence.
After a while, my thoughts turned even darker. I started wondering things like: 'what's it all about, really?' and 'if pandering to the whims of someone who was impossible to please was all there was then was that truly worth it?' Galadriel was great and powerful and she depended upon me but what had I done for her that I could be proud of? Fighting the orcs had felt good. Defending and being defended by a comrade felt even better. Even when I thought I was going to die I felt alive in a way I have not experienced for time out of memory.
Then there was the matter of Aragorn. The man lurked like a specter behind my thoughts. He was the one responsible for putting me at odds with my lady. I had never contemplated rebellion before I met him. If it hadn't been for some idea that it was Aragorn at risk when I first heard the sound of battle I might have found a nice tree and watched from the sidelines, following orders like my lady's good little elf. I had always suspected there was a certain hollowness to me and to my life but this had never bothered me until Aragorn had touched me. I was drawn to the man. I had realized that before but how could his pull on me ever come to rival the strength of my lady's hold?
Of course, there were practical problems associated with exchanging a blonde mistress for a dark haired master. These problem would likely prove insurmountable even if I was serious about leaving Galadriel. Naturally, I wasn't serious, only thinking to pass the time. I had been bound to my lady so long that I doubted I could learn a different life even if I wanted to- and I didn't want to. I was content. So what if Galadriel didn't cosset me or coo over me? I wasn't a child to need that. So what if Galadriel's greatest purpose was to keep an eye on her offspring? Who was to say what was or wasn't meaningful? Besides what would the King of Men want with yet another lap-elf? If I read the man aright he would probably expect me to search out my own destiny or some other claptrap. No, with my lady I was safe, comfortable, even content.
As the sun rose my mood lightened. I dismissed all those jumbled and confused ideas I had had as the imaginings of someone injured and exhausted. When I returned to Lorien I would do what I always did: Tell Galadriel an only slightly modified version of what had taken place then let her do as she would. We had had tiffs before and the world hadn't ended. This wasn't any different. Just as I was congratulating myself on my resolve Boromir- who had been silent for the past few hours- gave a low groan and opened his eyes.
"How are you feeling on this beautiful autumn morning?" I asked the man with something of my old manner. The blond warrior's eyes had focused on me as soon as I had begun to speak and they had narrowed into suspicious little slits by the time I had finished my question.
"Well, I suppose that is a silly question if feel you half as terrible as you look. Do you know who I am?" I proceeded merrily when it became apparent Boromir was not going to answer.
"Haldir?" The man asked doubtfully after a moment's concentration.
"Well done! Let's try another one: Would you like some water?" Boromir tried to shake his head 'no' but winced at the first motion.
"What is going on?" The man queried in a low rasping voice. The first sign of panic had started to register in his face as he started to recall the events of yesterday.
"I think you had better have some water before I explain anything." I informed the blond warrior as I reached for the waterskin. I only wanted to explain the situation once so I wanted to make sure Boromir was lucid. Besides Aragorn had said to give Boromir as much water as I could get him to drink.
The blond man seemed to have other ideas, however. Moving was obviously painful to him yet he resisted when I tried to lift him up so he could drink. "Tell me what is going on. Where is Frodo? Where is Aragorn? Where are Merry and Pippin?" On the last name Boromir began to cough violently. His head hit against the bottom of the boat as he was racked by the spasms until I held him down.
"That is quite enough of that. You have been entrusted to my care which means I'll bloody well tie you down if you're the least bit uncooperative. Tantrums won't gain you an inch with me. Now have some of this water and I'll answer your questions." The man looked upon me with angry, fevered eyes but he calmed down and let me help him drink.
"If we are lucky only the Valar know where Frodo is. He set out on his own after speaking with Aragorn. Do you remember Aragorn told you that?" The water had done the man some good for he seemed a little more rational, although his gaze was baleful.
"I remember. . . I tried to take the ring. Oh gods, it was no dream." The admission came painfully. Grief, rage and remorse rose up to choke the man and I forced him to drink again. Tears shone in his eyes but did not fall.
"Yes, I think that is so, but Frodo is safe and has the ring still." I told the man offering the only comfort I had. "Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli have gone to rescue Merry and Pippin. By my lady's order I was nearby when you were wounded so Aragorn asked if I would take you to Lorien for greater healing than he was able to give you. You are gravely injured, Boromir and the danger to your life is still very real. Yesterday you stood on the very threshold of death."
The man's expression became desolate. Guilt and despair were evident in his face as his memory of the day before slowly returned to him. "He should have let me die." Boromir whispered letting his eyes close.
"Possibly." I said heedless of the harshness of my words. "But he did not. Aragorn spent time and effort he could have devoted to tracking the hobbits to keeping you alive. And not that you have mentioned it, but I myself have worked to keep you among the living. I don't expect your gratitude but I won't have you wasting those efforts. Furthermore, you will do me the favor of not sulking about the sacrifices that have been made on your behalf in my presence." I spoke without anger or much emotion of any kind. By my tone I might have reprimanding the man on a some technical point of etiquette.
Anger surged in the man overcoming for a moment the black despair. "What do you know of sacrifice, of hopelessness, of fearing for the future of your people?" The man was hissing and wheezing, touched to the core by the contrast between the danger to his race and the certain and safe destiny of elfkind.
"What I do or don't know about sacrifice and hopelessness is not the point. Don't come to me looking for pity, Boromir. You won't get it." I said calmly.
"I don't want your pity." The man gritted out between clenched teeth, his face pallid except for two spots of bright color in his cheeks.
"Good. Now drink some more water and lie still while I check your bandages."
We spoke little after that. The man permitted me to see to his injuries as I wished. He drank water when I presented it to him but the anger kindled in him did not burn out. Self-hatred and guilt still radiated from the blond warrior like heat from a flame but I thought that some of that hatred had been redirected.
In truth, the encounter with Boromir had left me shocked and perhaps even a little frightened. I had very little experience of despair. Elves did not really despair. Some were unhappy but those who were hastened to Valinor or just faded away. There was none of the violent hopelessness Boromir seemed to feel. I knew no other way to deal with him then to mock and taunt him into some sort of interest in the outside world but for the first time I wished I knew how to use kind words instead of cruel. If the man died I would feel responsible. Somehow I knew I would feel more guilt over his death than I ever had over disobeying my lady.
The next morning I sighted the Golden Wood. Rumil and Orophin greeted me on the docks when I arrived. My brothers looked a little surprised. They had not known the particulars of my mission but they had been given to understand I would be a long time away. Rumil looked excited and expectant, eager for news of the outside world and tales of adventure. Orophin looked dour as usual. It was his great misfortune to be a little glum by nature I had no idea how he came by it.
"We didn't expect you back so soon- My dear you look awful." Rumil started coming up to clasp my shoulders.
"Battle weary, battered but undaunted perhaps, even fiercely determined through adversity but not awful, Rumil." I informed my brother with more cheerfulness than I happened to be feeling at that moment.
"You do look a mess. What have you been up to?" Orophin asked with a frown.
"I have been about my lady's business. Don't look so sour, Orophin. It spoils your looks." I responded embracing him in turn. "All right little brothers, see to my baggage while I go report to Galadriel and be careful with him; he has had some rough handling."
My brothers had already discovered the man in the boat who they recognized as their recent guest. Both of them were looking at me in confusion, no doubt hoping for an explanation. After a time, Orophin shrugged in resignation. "I'll go fetch a healer." As I turned to leave I saw Rumil shaking his head and smiling in wonder at me- his intrepid, worldly-wise, dashing older brother. I felt sick to my stomach.
Feeling confident Boromir was in safe hands, I went directly to Galadriel. There was no sense postponing the inevitable. The lady was seated on a carved oak chair perusing a long scroll. Though, she had to have been aware of my approach she made no sign but continued to read. Clasping my hands behind my back and stiffening my spine, I prepared to wait until Galadriel deigned to notice me.
Whatever the contents of that scroll, it must have been fascinating. More than an hour passed before my lady looked up. "Well, Haldir?" She asked cooly raising a delicate eyebrow.
"Well, Mistress." I responded. And so it began.
"Why have you come back before time and why did you bring a dying soldier of Gondor with you?" Listening to that voice really made one appreciate the many warm and sympathetic attributes of ice.
"The fellowship was attacked. Boromir was injured and Aragorn asked me to bring him here." I answered as concisely as I could.
"And you did as he asked, did you?" Galadriel demanded rhetorically. "Why, pray, were you in a position to be asked to do anything? I told you to keep out of sight."
"I was drawn into battle and wounded. I did not have the wherewithal to hide. I fell into a trance." I explained trying not to sound as though I were making excuses.
"How can you have been entranced? I can still see the shadow of bruises on you." My lady asked in confusion. She had enough power over my mind to know if I had attempted to lie to her on such a grand scale.
"I was in a trance but Aragorn woke me from it."
"That was brave." The comment was made in surprised reaction and I was curious.
"Why so? Am I such a horror in the morning?" I asked dryly.
My lady's expression gave me to understand that she was not the least bit amused by my attempt at humor, but she answered my question anyway. "To wake you he had to enter your trance but as a mortal man he could not be sure of finding his way out again. He took a risk." Then my lady shook her head and looked at me angrily, "But that is neither here nor there. Why did you obey him?" That was the crucial question and I had had the entire boat ride to think of my answer.
"If I had not agreed the man would never have had any more to do with me. Whatever trust or affection that I had managed to win from him would be destroyed. Now he thinks better of me than he did before and will be more likely to confide in me later." I spoke the truth, carefully. It was my hope that my lady would draw her own conclusions.
Galadriel considered for a time.
"Very well, Haldir. I suppose you did the best you could. And you did manage to put the man in your debt. That is something. When you have refreshed yourself a little return to your duties." It was clear from my lady's tone that she believed she was being magnanimous.
"As regards the resumption of duties, might I have a word?" I spoke tentatively unwilling to tax her temper more than necessary. Galadriel gave me a look which I chose to interpret as permission.
"If it pleases you Rumil could continue maintaining the guard for a while. I would like to have a few days to rest and think." I asked humbly.
"What can you have to think about?" Galadriel asked suspiciously.
"Nothing in particular, mistress, but I would like to have the time very much."
"No, Haldir. I need you on guard."
"Rumil is more than capable of performing my duties." I said, though, in my heart I had already given up.
"I don't want Rumil. I want you. It is the least you can do after mishandling what should have been a relatively simple mission." Galadriel snapped. I hated when people said that. The least I could do was nothing and nothing was exactly what I felt inclined to do but I bowed my head in acquiescence. What other choice did I have? "This is not punishment, Haldir." My lady added upon observing the set of my shoulders.
"Is it not? I do not often make a request of you and I have never done so idly."
"Great events are on the horizon. I feel safer with you at my side. Our time here grows short. Whatever distress you feel is the sea calling us home. You can fight it more readily if you are occupied." Galadriel said this last almost gently. Bowing, I left to change my clothes and then inspect the perimeter. It had actually gone very well, better than I had hoped, certainly. So, why then did I feel so troubled?
Several days passed. I went to see Boromir often. He had survived the removal of the arrow head from his chest and according to the healers he was mending as well as might be expected of a human. The healers doted on him. They rarely had the chance to practice their art and Boromir promised days- even weeks- of useful employment. They hovered around him cooing and encouraging. The little group of elves anticipated his every possible want and need. They attended him constantly, singing to him and petting him. The healers would have chewed his food for him if they could have found the least excuse for doing so. Dirgo, the most besotted of the lot, was even trying to learn a bit of Westron to better communicate with his uncommunicative patient.
The man endured this with stoic indifference. This alarmed me terribly, so much tender loving care should have had the blond warrior ready to do murder. Aragorn had been right. The blond man's spirit had been desolated. He obeyed the healers' instructions lethargically and tolerated their cosseting without even seeming to notice all of it. He was but little interested in his own progress. With no other means of escape, he slept a great deal, more than was good for him. The only signs of life he appeared to show were when I came, at least twice daily, to visit him.
My manner infuriated him. If he did not respond to me immediately I told him not to bother stirring himself, that I was sure that moping was more important than fighting for one's people. When I was there he wanted to regain his health if only for the opportunity to, as he put it, give me a much overdue beating. I responded that since a good beating had not improved him much I would decline. Dirgo reported the man always seemed better after I had been by. No doubt Boromir was able to occupy himself for hours imagining me flopping helplessly on the point of his sword.
Neither Boromir nor I ever spoke of Aragorn though I guessed that the man's mind was consumed with the ranger. The king of men was an invisible presence between us. The dark-haired man had more than the considerable power of his personality to enthrall Boromir for he had become a symbol to the steward's son. He represented everything that the warrior loved and everything that he believed he had betrayed. If I had been more experienced in the art of compassion I might have tried to assure the wounded man that he could still be of some use to his king and his people, that he was not beyond forgiveness. As it was, however, I had to let Boromir find his own way.
As for myself, I tried not to think about Aragorn. It was only with Boromir when the ranger became an almost tangible presence, that I could not put the Dumadan from my mind. I must have had some sort of sympathetic connection with Boromir for I seemed to feel his need to redeem himself with Aragorn as if it were my own need. His loneliness for his companion and his current sense of rootlessness projected themselves into my emotions. I told myself it was just a reflection of Boromir's feeling but I missed the ranger. I wanted to hear him tell me that I had done the right thing again. I even what have liked to hear him say he was proud of me. Perhaps I should be ashamed to confess that my time spent with Boromir was the best part of my day.
More than a week had passed and my life had more or less returned to normal. Except for the addition of Boromir to my routine things were as they had always been. It was my life. I was content with it. I had always been. Yet, I could not help but feel I was just marking time while I waited for something better to start. I felt edgy as though I were waiting for a storm to break that had been building for days. I doubted this had anything to do with a longing to see Valinor, whatever my lady thought. I was bored here. What the hell was I going to do in the bloody blessed realm? No, whatever my problem was it was very much of this world and it was making me tense and irritable. When my lady's summons came I knew instinctively that it was finally time. Somehow I knew everything was going to change and my dominant emotion was relief.
"I spoke to Elrond this morning." My mistress began as soon as I came into her presence. "There is apparently a great battle to be had at the human fortress of Helm's Deep. The twins left yesterday with a company of edain and that fool let them go." My lady was angry. She liked to be consulted on any issue that concerned her grandchildren- even though Elladan and Elrohir had reached their majority long ago.
"He wasn't even going to tell me at all except that the twins will not arrive in time for the battle and he asked if I could send a force to support the humans. He knows that I depend on him for information I cannot glean from my mirror and he knows that it is far too dangerous for Elladan and Elrohir to leave Imladris but he didn't even consult me. I wish Celebrian had never met that elf." My lady paused for breath, complaints against Elrond were a frequent topic of conversation with her.
"Aragorn or Estel as he likes to say- I mean, honestly, Estel- is there too, he said as though that was supposed to persuade me!" Galadriel was pacing back in forth trying to contain her anger. I had known, of course, that a large force was moving against Rohan. Elrond's concern, however, suddenly made the situation appear much more dire. On top of that if Aragorn was there- and I could not help but be pleased that the man lived and was apparently well- then that to omened a confrontation of great consequence.
"What did you tell Lord Elrond?" I asked cloaking my eagerness.
"I told him I would see if it would be possible for me to offer aid. That is why I called you, Haldir. We agreed to speak again this afternoon and I want you to tell Elrond that we need every elf. You can make it sound more plausible than I could. These are not the times when we can afford to look after mankind." I knew my lady well enough to know that she wanted me to speak with Elrond for more reasons than my ability to lie convincingly. Galadriel did not want to take the blame when Arwen learned that there would be no help for her betrothed from Lothlorien.
"There would be no risk to us if we sent a small contingent of volunteers. Indeed, the Dark Lord does not believe elves have the will to oppose him any longer. That is why he moves against humanity and leaves us to ourselves, believing that he can burn us out of our forests later if we do not leave on our own. Perhaps the best thing for the security of the Golden Wood in the long run is to aid mankind now." Strange ideas had been taking shape in my brain this passed week and here, before my lady, they emerged fully formed.
"Are you trying to be funny? I think your sense of humor has been off somewhat of late." Galadriel commented derisively. "There isn't going to be any 'long run' for us Haldir. I don't want our forces reduced by so much as one elf during this time of crisis." That was bollocks. Groups left almost weekly for the Grey Havens with my lady's blessing.
"Besides if this Aragorn is the fabled 'Renewer' then he will hardly need our help, will he." Galadriel finished.
"My lady, I-" Galadriel cut me off with an imperious wave of her hand.
"Quiet, I feel Vilya. Elrond comes." She said in a whisper as she prepared to command the power of her own ring. Slowly the clearing where we stood altered. The air seemed to shimmer and I could make out the ghostly outline of an atrium in Rivendell. I saw the figure of Elrond appear and behind him, twisting her hands in nervous agitation, was the lady Arwen.
"Have you considered Galadriel? How stand the defenses of the Golden Wood?" Elrond asked and his voice reverberated eerily.
"I am in discussion with Haldir upon that very point." Galadriel said and all eyes turned to me.
"My lady is correct to worry about the danger the armies of Sauron and Saruman present to us." My voice had grown thick and I cleared my throat. "Yet, with my lady's permission, I believe it is possible a small force might be assembled in the name of the old alliances, the protection of innocent lives and the salvation of Middle-Earth. I would volunteer to lead such a force." I was determined to go whatever Galadriel said but I owed her the opportunity to appear as though she consented.
"Grandmother, please." As I spoke Arwen had moved forward and seized her father's sleeve. Her eyes shone as he addressed the Lady of the Golden Wood. Galadriel was looking at ne as though I had transformed into Saruman before her eyes but at Arwen's plea her expression softened marginally.
"Very well, my child. Since you ask it I will permit it." Galadriel said after a moment. After my own words she really had no other choice but to acquiesce but to her credit she managed to do it quite gracefully. I had expected I would feel guilty after speaking but to my surprise I felt a good deal better. Surely, I should have felt awful; had I not just betrayed my liege-lady. It did not feel like betrayal but what else could it have been? After a thorough inspection of my emotions the closest thing to guilt was a little sadness that I had not had the chance to speak honestly with Galadriel before hand.
"Thank you, my lady." Arwen breathed still clinging to her father.
"Ah my love, it gladdens me to see you happy." Galadriel spoke with a gentleness that was reserved for her kin alone.
"This eases my mind a great deal, Galadriel." Elrond interjected as he subtly tried to loosen Arwen's death grip on his arm. "If I hear aught of the twins before you I shall send word. Faewell."
"Farewell, grandmother, I love you. Thank you Haldir." Arwen said as I bowed respectfully to father and daughter.
"Valar protect you, my Arwen." Galadriel responded as the couple shimmered into nothing.
As soon as the air stilled with the passing of the image Galadriel turned to me in a towering rage. "How dare you defy me like that? Have you gone utterly mad? Why, why did you do that?" She all but screamed. For the first time it occurred to me that she might kill me in her anger. A thousand possible answers danced through my head. Part of me wanted to fling myself down before her and beg forgiveness, claim it was a joke, or-as she had said- some momentary madness. Somehow, though, I could not travel down that road agin. I stood as proudly as I could given that I was trembling and met her eyes.
"It was the right thing to do." I said simply.
I had never seen the lady speechless before but now she was utterly dumbstruck. "You are mad." She finally murmured, some of her anger replaced by bafflement.
"I truly believe that helping mankind to victory diminishes the danger to Lothlorien." I said. She would not understand but I had to try anyway.
"Is this because I hit you, Haldir?" Galadriel accused as her anger began to reassert itself.
I flushed red. I had not forgotten that slap. Sometimes I would be on patrol and of a sudden a wave of shame and humiliation would wash over me and I could still feel the sting of her hand against my cheek. I had decided there was fault on both sides and that ultimately one flare of temper was nothing in the centuries we had been together but I would never forget the unnatural heat of it marking me forever. Still it wounded me that she thought I would take revenge for it and that the revenge would take this particular form.
"No, lady." I answered sadly. "I did not volunteer to go to Helm's Deep because you struck me. Though, now that it has been mentioned, I have served you faithfully for centuries asking nothing in return except respect for my dignity and the privilege of speaking candidly to you in private. An apology would have cost you nothing and meant a great deal to me."
Galadriel shook her head fiercely. "You chose him over me, didn't you? Damn you, owe me more than that."
I flinched. She was obviously referring to Aragorn and I could see how it would appear so to her. Neither could I deny the nearly irresistible attraction of the man. The tragedy of it was: the two were on the same side. "I do not wish to make any choice that excludes you. Is what I have done so terrible? Forgive me, and I will come back to you when I have done what I must."
"That is unacceptable. I would never again be able to trust you or your brothers. If you go, Haldir, don't ever come back. Is that clear?"
"Yes, lady Galadriel. That is clear." It always was clear with the mistress of the Golden Wood. "I will leave tomorrow dawn with any who wish to volunteer. For the kindness you have shown me in the past, I sincerely thank you." Bowing I took my leave of the lady for the last time.
I felt limp after my interview with Galadriel. My legs were even unsteady for a few moments. Unfortunately, I did not have the luxury of lots of time to recover. I found a few of my lieutenants and told them the details of the expedition to Helm's Deep. I asked them to disseminate the news and ask any elf who wished to volunteer to meet me by the oak grove at sunset. When I had done that I went to tell Boromir his captivity was nearly at an end. I expected the man would be ecstatic.
I found the warrior easily enough. He was where he always was, in the infirmary. He no loner strictly needed to be there but he was a veritable hostage to the healers' boredom and without anyone who could speak his language- or who was even interested in trying- he had no where else to go. Dirgo was with Boromir and the enthusiastic healer must have wheedled his patient into helping him with his Westron for the two were repeating simple phrases back in forth.
Dirgo saw me first and waved me over excitedly. "Haldir is a terrible, cruel, devious elf. Someone should put poison in his food!" The healer announced beaming from ear to ear as he looked from me to Boromir obviously awaiting our approval.
"Now that is just petty." I told Boromir as the man smiled maliciously. "Excellent pronunciation, Dirgo" I said in our mother tongue to reassure the healer who was quickly getting the idea that he had not said what he thought he had said.
"You have already inflicted your presence upon me twice this day. Go away, can't you." Boromir retorted.
"I had come to give you some important news. Since you're not interested though I'll go to Rohan and meet with Aragorn on my own and you can stay here until Dirgo and the others decide you're healthy enough to be let out without a keeper." I said sweetly, preparing to walk away.
"You had better tell me quickly what you are talking about, elf. And if this is one of your twisted jokes so help me I'll. . . I'll"
"Teach Dirgo to say nasty things to me?" I suggested helpfully.
"Talk!" The man commanded dangerously.
I did talk and when I finished the man was practically twitching with nervous eagerness. He wanted to start off immediately. The prospect of battle filled him with visions of a glorious death that would pay for all his past mistakes. He appeared to be somewhat less eager to see Aragorn once more. I could tell he wanted to accomplish some great deed to balance against what he had done wrong before facing the man.
Dirgo had not been able to follow the conversation so I repeated it for him in our own language. The elf spoke in Westron to the absolute limit of his small ability in part to learn more quickly but mostly so that Boromir wouldn't feel quite so left out all the time. "Boromir is too sick." Here Dirgo did a pantomime of a coughing fit followed by a an impression of what seemed to be a man staggering home after too much strong drink. "Boromir stay." This phrase was then given visual representation by the healer wrapping his arms around the blond warrior's shoulders and pressing him against his chest.
"The hell you say." Boromir told the healer emphatically as he extricated himself, not ungently, from his embrace. The elf had not been able to translate precisely but he understood the gist. Dirgo looked to me for help but found none. Boromir was my charge and I thought that languishing in Lorien was the last thing he needed. Dirgo frowned a moment and then his naturally benevolent expression reasserted itself.
"I go Rohan." Dirgo chirped brightly.
"No." Boromir told the elf taking his hand and speaking softly. "Thank you for all your help. You have been very good to me but I am fine now. I can manage on my own and you have no business in Rohan."
Dirgo looked confused so I translated. I was sure the two could work it out on their own with gestures and repetition but I wanted to expedite the process so I could go assess the number of elves who wanted to fight.
"I go Rohan." Dirgo insisted after giving me a grateful smile. "I am healer. I know much. I learn much. I help people of Boromir."
"The elf puts together a damn fine argument." I told the blond warrior who still looked reluctant. "Besides, it's his choice and I won't have the time to spoon feed you on the journey. We'll have to move fast."
"I don't need anyone to feed me." Boromir snarled. "And I can move as fast as you at need."
"Not on your best day, man." I scoffed. "I'll find you a horse just try not to fall off. I'll come for you at first light. Be ready." With that I left the elf and man to their preparations.
I arrived at the oak grove a little after sundown and found to my shock more than fifty elves milling about looking expectant. I had not anticipated half that number. Some faces I expected to see, the younger elves who were spoiling for a fight were no surprise but some of the others I never would have predicted. I even spotted Drienne conversing with the others. I also saw to my displeasure both my brothers wondering through the crowd.
I told the assembled elves all the little information I had about the plight of Rohan. I finished by announcing that anyone who was still willing to come should be ready to march at dawn. As the crowd began to disperse I went in search of my brothers. Galadriel would have no quarrel with any other elves who joined this force because no one knew of our falling out but if my brothers came she would see that as another betrayal and my innocent siblings would have to share my exile.
Before I found them, though, Drienne sidled up to me. "Thank you, Haldir." The usually absent-minded elf told me sincerely. I couldn't help but wonder if the elf was a little demented with sea-longing.
"You do realize we are not going to the Havens tomorrow, don't you?" I asked thinking Drienne might be a little confused.
"Of course I know that. I was thanking you for the chance to do battle once more." The older elf told me curtly.
"Are you quite sure you're up to it?" I hinted.
"Haldir, do you know why I have not yet made the journey from Arda?" Drienne asked me pointedly.
"Inertia?" I guessed and the older elf gave me a cold look. "You asked." I told him in my own defense.
Deciding to ignore my conjecture Drienne proceeded to answer his own question: "I have been a warrior all my life. I have fought in countless battles and destroyed countless servants of the enemy. Lately, though, I seem to have done nothing. Our time is ending here but I don't want to just slink away from this world without one more chance to declare who I am and what my time here has meant. You have given me that chance and that is why I said 'thank you.'" Having said his peace and perhaps also a little embarrassed at making such a personal revelation Drienne moved off. I stood for a moment contemplating his words. I suppose he had as good a reason as any for wishing to join the fight and a better reason than some.
"Rumil, Orophin, come here this instant!" I yelled catching a glimpse of my wayward siblings. In answer to my call my brothers wove their way through the receding crowd to my side. "You two are not going anywhere." I informed them sternly.
"Oh, you want to keep all the adventure to yourself?" Rumil began carelessly.
"Don't take that tone with me, youngling. I taught it to you." I chastised a little more severely than I intended. Two confused faces regarded me with concern.
"Are you quite all right, Haldir." Orophin asked cautiously. "Perhaps you'd like to sit down for a moment."
I sighed putting a hand on each of their shoulders. "Come my dears, older brother has a cautionary tale to share with you." Still looking confused Rumil and Orophin followed me to the privacy of my talan.
"That's the whole sad story." I finished after I had related everything that had happened since the fellowship had come to Lorien.
"This is absolutely scandalous." Orophin said finally breaking the grim silence. Even nonchalant Rumil looked aghast. Of course I thoroughly deserved it but still I was very sorry to have disappointed them.
"I truly apologize for putting you both in this position but if you are good little elves I don't think Galadriel will blame you for my transgressions." I said hoping it was true.
"Haldir, you are our brother. We love you." Rumil said taking my hand rather earnestly.
"On top of that, you also happen to be right this time." Orophin added. "It's incredible that Galadriel would become so obsessed with trifles that she would turn on you like that."
"How could she strike you? How could she tell you to lie to Elrond? How could she behave so. . . so childishly?" Rumil wondered, still in shock. I didn't have the heart to tell them that it was all more or less standard operating procedure- except that she had never hit me before. But I had already explained how that had been mostly my fault.
"How is it you never told us any of this earlier?" Orophin wanted to know. "We have a right to know when our brother has been mistreated. No wonder you have been so upset recently. I can't believe all this has been happening and neither of us knew anything."
"It was my duty to keep certain matters to myself. I have only told you now because I love you and I want to protect you. So I hope you will understand why you must keep your distance from me." I said authoritatively.
"We are not going to leave you, Haldir. Neither one of us would stay here even if Galadriel, herself, begged us." Rumil asserted while Orophin nodded his determined agreement.
"Think again, children." I admonished my two would-be champions. "This is your home. Don't give it up for some archaic idea of family honor."
"What about the very current idea of love and loyalty?" Rumil asked not the least bit dissuaded.
"Besides," Orophin offered, "Galadriel does not mean to stay here much longer and Celeborn does not hold a grudge. This is not permanent."
"So we are all decided. We'll leave in the morning." Rumil concluded becoming excited once more at the prospect of adventure. "Do you need to cry or something, Haldir, at all this outpouring of brotherly affection?" The brat asked with a big grin.
I thought for a moment before replying. "No, but don't let me hold you back . Do what you need to do." Rumil was still grinning and even Orophin was smiling gently. After that we said our goodnights so that we could each prepare for the next day.
"I'm telling you, you have led us miles out of our way. Aren't elves supposed to have a superior sense of direction or something? We should have crossed straight over the planes of Rohan rather than hugging the forest line." Boromir complained for the third time that day. If Aragorn had been second-guessed and pestered by the blond warrior on the journey to Lorien as much as I had been second-guessed and pestered on the way to Helm's Deep then the Dunadan had the patience of the Valar for I was ready to have the Gondorim gagged and thrown in a sack.
"First off, I wasn't the one who stumbled around for more than a year before finally tripping over Rivendell." The man blushed at this reminder and murmured something about elves not being able to keep their bloody mouths shut. "And second, the planes afford no cover. We won't do anyone any good if we're all cut down on the barren flat land."
"You are far too cautious, like whoever is in charge of the Rohirim." Boromir scoffed. I hated to admit it but there might have been something to what the blond warrior said. My scouts reported that we would have to press hard to arrive ahead of the forces of the enemy.
"Wouldn't Aragorn be in charge of the Rohirim?" I asked so I could avoid having to acknowledge Boromir's point. I wasn't completely clear on how Gondor's king ranked in Rohan so I thought it was a reasonable question.
"Obviously not or the situation would not be nearly so dire. I had heard that Theoden king was sick unto death but he must still be hanging on. Trying to save yourself by cowering behind walls you know your enemy has the will to break and waiting patiently to be smashed to pieces sounds like what you would expect from a sick, old man or. . ." and the man paused slyly, "an elf. Ah, but I forgot you have an escape route. If middle-earth falls you won't have to fall with it."
"I am not here for the scenery, Boromir." I said as blandly as I could given that the man had us dead to rights.
"Present company excluded." The warrior conceded generously.
"Well we are almost there at any rate." I sighed while I tried to ignore the man's smug expression. "You can see the fortress ahead."
"I can't."
"Well, then take my bloody word for it."
We marched on. With our goal in sight everyone quickened his pace. Soon even Boromir could see the massive stone structure built into the mountain. He dismounted so that he would not stand out as the only rider when we came to the fortress. I was about to command Rumil to sound the horn when Boromir touched my arm. When I turned to him he looked embarrassed.
"Haldir, would you mind letting me keep to the rear as we go in? We are on the eve of battle. We can all tell our stories later. If I just kept out of sight until-"
"Until after the battle wherein you do something so wonderfully heroic that you feel you will be able to keep your head up. Not a chance." I finished for the man before answering his question.
"Why not?" Boromir asked as nicely as he could given that he was annoyed that I had read his intention so easily and that it galled him on general principle to ask anyone for anything.
"Because I don't like you well enough to take the sort of dressing down I will inevitably have to take if you get yourself killed finding something heroic to do and then Aragorn learns I didn't even bother to tell him you were with me. Why did you think?" I answered easily but then I saw the man's pained expression.
"No one can possibly be as hard on you as you have been on yourself. Come along, straighten up and face it like a soldier. It will be all right." I was disappointed in myself that I didn't put my hand on the man's shoulder but all this looking after someone's wounded spirit was hard to learn all at once. Whether or not the blond warrior was reassured he did assume an attitude of soldierly determination.
I cast one final look at Boromir before seeking my brothers in the column behind me. When they saw me I gave them a smile and then nodded to Rumil that it was time for us to announce our arrival to the men we had come to help.
The gates opened before us and battered, frightened faces peered at us as we marched down the main thoroughfare. "Eyes front!" I commanded sternly as more and more of my elves started to watch the beleaguered populace with fascinated pity. Elves had an image to maintain. We couldn't go gaping, slack-jawed as though we had never seen a city of men before even- if most of us hadn't.
When we came to the inner keep an old man- almost certainly Theoden though he did not bother to introduce himself- met us. His hair was more white than gold and he looked hopelessly out of his depth. The king appeared to be ill or recovering from an illness just as Boromir had intimated earlier. I doubted this man had the strength of will or of body to face the army sent against his people. I had prepared a few introductory words on my way here and, suppressing a sigh, I launched into it. All the while I searched the darkness for Aragorn.
"We come to honor that allegiance." As I spoke the culminating lines of my little speech the man I had been seeking emerged, the elf and dwarf at his heels. Seeing me, Aragorn's face lit with a smile of relieved joy. He welcomed me gladly and then throwing propriety to the wind he embraced me tightly. I returned the embrace with more strength than I had intended, clasping the man to me with sudden need. Almost against my will I smiled back in equal measures pride and embarrassment.
Finally, Aragorn pulled back from me just enough to look into my face, his own countenance still glowing with pleased surprise. It was suddenly too much for me and I turned away giving a signal to my elves. As one they looked to their right then executed a sharp turn so that they all faced forward. The dunadan's attention shifted from me instantly and I knew a moment of relief before I was hit by an unexpected thrill of pride. These were my people! And not just the courageous elves who had decided to brave the world outside their forests but the frightened men who were ready to do battle despite their fear. Everyone here, from the toe-headed urchins drowning in armor far too big for their children's bodies to Boromir and his liege-lord, was my responsibility and I was theirs. We were brothers. There was something here that Sauron and his minions could never destroy even if his army overwhelmed the walls and slaughtered all who breathed within.
I shook my head in confused wonder at the onslaught of these new emotions. What had come over me? Before I had time to truly explore the possible answers to that question Aragorn had once again taken hold of my shoulders. "Haldir, How is Boromir? Is he well?" There was worry in the Dunadan's voice that his emphatic use of the present tense could not conceal
"Boromir has been a veritable millstone around my neck. The man seems unable to march without moving his mouth. Ah, but I see you are skeptical so I invite you to see for yourself." So saying I moved aside to reveal the blond warrior who had been skulking behind me.
Without looking up to meet Aragorn's eyes the man of Gondor dropped silently to his knees. The dark-haired ranger dashed the few steps to his friend and hauled him upright folding him into a tight embrace. Boromir sagged limply in Aragorn's strong arms.
"Merry and Pippin are well, Boromir. They live, and even now, they are being escorted back to their beloved shire." Aragorn quickly whispered into the blond warrior's ear. "Even more than that, beyond all hope and expectation, Gandalf has survived. He is Gandalf the White now and he has grown yet more powerful. He is bringing us aid. And you, look at you dear Boromir. You live and are healthy enough to discombobulate Haldir and that is no mean feat. It is a great and glad fortune that you have been restored to us."
"Can it be? Merry and Pippin are safe?" Boromir asked his voice muffled by Aragorn's shoulder.
"It is the truth, my brother." The ranger reassured. "Come, greet Legolas and Gimli. We have all been so worried for you."
I could not help but smile. I was glad Merry and Pippin had survived and I was glad Boromir was relieved of a great burden of guilt. Now I wouldn't have to watch the man like a hawk through the coming battle, waiting for the moment when he chose to throw himself on the enemy's spears out of spite for all my tender care in saving him.
"Welcome, lord elf." It was only now that the old king Theoden had found his voice. "We are grateful for your most timely aid. If you would distribute your force along the inner and outer wall and reinforce the men there and-"
"Your pardon, Theoden king." I interposed smoothly. "But I leave the distribution of my soldiers to the lord Aragorn, elf-friend and de jure king of Gondor. I await his orders." I did not have a great deal of faith in the old man's battle acumen and I had a great deal of faith in Aragorn's. Also there was something that irritated me about Theoden's manner. I couldn't say precisely what it was but my sense was that the man had internal conflicts that made him particularly unsuited to take care of any other conflict.
The old king was not pleased. I had not expected him to be but he justified my lack of faith in his decision making ability by refusing to concede the matter gracefully. "It is no great friendship where assistance is only offered conditionally. This is my fight and my land. It is proper that all soldiers here ultimately answer to my command." Theoden announced with all the majesty of a disgruntled school master.
"This will be Saruman's land ere long if fortune does not favor us." I replied. If this man, king or no, thought I could be put in my place with a few surly words he was an incredibly poor judge of character. "Friendship has never required that one be rendered into tallow for the benefit of the candle maker. I have a responsibility to those who follow me not to spend their lives on small points of etiquette."
Theoden was speechless for a moment finally he turned to one who he thought might have sympathy with his position. "Lord Boromir as Denethor's oldest son you must speak for Gondor, what council would you give regarding the chain of command in the midst of desper-"
Boromir who had been whispering with Legolas and Gimli raised a hand. "It is proper, sir, that I defer all such inquiry to my liege-lord, Aragorn. It is for him to say." After making this point of procedure Boromir returned his attention to the conversation he was having with the dwarf and Mirkwood elf. Having found no help from Boromir Theoden was even more frustrated. With a mutter about reviewing his infantry the man went off in a royal huff.
Aragorn, who looked exasperated but also a bit amused, gestured for me to come to his side. "I appreciate the vote of confidence. But Theoden has already lost a great deal, Haldir. Permit him to retain his dignity." The dunadan said in mild remonstrance.
"I was not aware his dignity was in my keeping." I commented dryly. "I do not trust his powers of leadership nor do I have any reason to do so. If he doesn't understand that then he is beyond my help. Which will you do, my lord of tomorrow, safeguard his kingdom or safeguard his ego?" I asked feeling not the least bit sorry for the old man who, at this dark hour, still concerned himself about being shown up by Aragorn.
"I will let no more of his decisions hurt Rohan but you do not make my job easier by reminding him that an unkempt, rough-mannered ranger is maneuvering his rightful command away from him. I ask you only to practice a little tact and diplomacy."
"I promise nothing." I replied. Poor Aragorn looked completely beset. I did not envy him trying to juggle a stubborn client-king, a terrified soldiery and an irresistibly charming elf, albeit one who was determined not to suffer fools gladly, all the while fighting a massive army of the enemy but I felt certain he was up to the challenge.
"I know, I am incorrigible." I said with sympathetic understanding. "Boromir has often voiced the opinion that someone should take a belt to me." I leaned a little closer and asked the man softly: "What is your opinion?"
Aragorn smiled gently and replied just as softly: "My opinion is. . . you should array your archers along the inner wall. It looks as thought it will rain and that will reduce the efficacy of your bows. Keep together. I think you will fight better as a unit than spread throughout the companies of men."
I wanted to give the man a good pout but I couldn't manage it passed my smile. I relayed his orders, motioning Dirgo to go in and find the infirmary and get oriented. The elf was a competent warrior but he would do more good taking care of the wounded. The healer left without a murmur and I was grateful that I didn't have to argue. Dirgo was spending so much time with Boromir that I had been afraid the blond man's bad more irritating habits might have started to rub off.
The rain started just after we had taken up positions. So many people standing together silently was a little eerie but the prospect of sudden violent death tended to make people go quiet. Legolas' dwarf, however, was the notable exception. I heard the short sturdy creature complaining incessantly. Apparently, Gimli was commiserating with Boromir about the unfairness that those with bows would get a head start on the killing while Legolas smirked and patted his own bow affectionately.
The only other voices were the captains walking up and down the lines shouting encouragement and instructions that nervous troops might have forgotten. Aragorn performed this service for us. Sindarin sounded like a different language coming from the dunadan's throat. His voice was deeper than any elf's and though his accent was perfect the syllables seemed heavier more solid, made of earth not air. You could build a barricade from Aragorn's words. I felt a tingle as the time of combat crept ever closer.
Before we could begin in earnest, however, we had to endure the necessary business of keeping cool while the dark horde tried to taunt us into wasting our arrows while they were at the extreme edge of bow range. Only one man let fly, more out of nervousness than anything else but with remarkable luck he brought down an orc in the front rank. There was complete silence for the space of a breath- if there had been anyone in either army able to breathe- then the orcs and urak-hai were racing at us. We loosed a volley upon command and then we were firing at will.
It was impossible not to hit the charging monsters. There were so many of them packed tightly together, but for every one we brought down it was as if two more rose to take its place. It did not take long for the dark army to scale the walls. I abandoned my bow in favor of hand to hand combat as did most of the other elves. I kept a particular eye upon my brothers as they continued firing shot after shot with practiced ease. They were natural warriors, my brothers. Their arrows flew like falling stars, bringing glory to the night.
Aragorn was everywhere at once. One moment he was helping a few of the brave child warriors push down a scaling ladder and in the next instant he was battling two or three of the enemy that had been overlooked while my elves and the Rohirim scrambled to reinforce him. The Mirkwood prince, who was an exceptional shot, chose to wait until the enemy was literally at his throat before drawing his knives in favor of firing his arrows. Boromir and Gimli, apparently determined to make up for lost time, charged the invading orcs with energetic viciousness. Of Theoden I never saw any sign at all.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Drienne go down beneath an orc blade. Quickly dispatching the monster before me I struggled in the direction in which I had seen the elf fall. Before I could reach him, however, the ground shook bringing me to my knees. An explosion ripped through the night and a great section of wall collapsed sending me tumbling. The noise of battle and the beating rain combined with the rising clouds of dust and confusion of bodies to completely disorient me. I had no choice but to abandon my struggle to reach Drienne in favor of defending my own life. I gave a quick thought for the easy passage of Drienne's spirit and sank my knife hilt deep into the gut of the nearest orc.
Now that the wall had been breached we were being overwhelmed in earnest. Orcs and uruk-hai streamed through, shrieking in triumph. Through the clang of battle I heard Aragorn give the order to retreat to the inner fortress. Looking about I finally caught his eye and nodded my acknowledgment. I repeated the order in case there were any who had not heard the man. I waited until all my elves had gone ahead of me and then I turned to follow them.
I had not taken a step when a clubbing blow descended across my shoulders. I cried out sharply in surprise, tried to stagger forward but ended up on my knees. Looking up, I saw an uruk-hai looming over me grinning triumphantly. I wanted to raise my arms to defend against the blow I knew was coming but my limbs would not seem to obey my commands. I gazed up in a mix of surprise and helpless confusion. I thought I was ready to meet death stoically but perhaps one is never truly ready.
I did manage to keep my eyes open as the axe swung downward which I allowed myself to count as a small victory. The axe never fell though. Halfway down its killing arc, the haft was seized by strong hands. after a brief tussle the axe handle was in the grip of my rescuer and the blade buried in the chest of my assailant.
"Boromir." I murmured faintly as the blond man hauled me to my feet. If the steward's son heard me he did not bother to answer. When I seemed able to stand on my own Boromir pushed me roughly ahead of him toward the keep. Having discarded the axe in the uruk-hai the warrior guarded our escape with his broadsword, shoving me forward whenever I wasn't moving fast enough to suit him.
"You all right?" The blond man asked when we were safely within the inner walls. Despite the bloody evidence of battle on his clothes and weapon I could not help but feel that Boromir looked much improved. There was energy in his movements and the light of vitality burned once again in his eyes. I thought I deserved a little credit for the man's achievement in reaching this point and I smiled fondly at him.
"Since when did you become too good to use verbs?" I replied between heavy breaths as I clung to a pillar for support. Scowling, Boromir strode away toward where Aragorn, Gimli and Theoden were clustered together. I guessed Theoden had been here within the keep as the battle raged on outside.
Aragorn had been one of the very last through the heavy oak door, covering the escape of others before finally slipping in himself. The gate had been shut and bolted but now the door was collapsing beneath the persistent battering of the enemy. Despite the soldiers best efforts to brace it the gate would not hold for long. Without skipping a beat Aragorn asked Theoden how long he needed to secure the door. Rohan's king answered most unhelpfully but the tall ranger merely nodded and headed off with the dwarf in tow.
Boromir tried to follow but the dunedain stopped him with a shake of his head. "Stay here, Boromir. Look after Haldir." Aragorn ordered, although the ranger was looking at Theoden meaningfully as he spoke. 'Keep an eye on the dithering old king playing general,' was the true command and Boromir understood. Knowing better than to question orders in the middle of battle the blond warrior reluctantly let Aragorn go.
When I had recovered my breath I took a place beside Boromir as he helped to brace the door. "I suppose you think we are even now, man, since you happened to save my life just now." I said, pressing my shoulder to the shuddering wood.
"We won't be even until I get at least twenty minutes with you and your smart mouth in a dark alley somewhere, wretched creature." Boromir gritted out between clenched teeth, though I sensed that he was not quite as sincere about his threat as he would have been a few days ago.
The man was just too dear. How could I not poke at him just a bit? "I'm not ungrateful but that is a bit excessive surely. Still, I suppose I might be willing. But couldn't we just find a nice comfortable bedroom like civilized folk? I'm sure alleys have their appeal to a certain sort but since I would be letting you fulfill your desires concerning my much admired mouth then I should get to pick the location." It took a good five seconds before the man got the joke, but when comprehension finally dawned it was all worth it. The full spectrum of emotions from shock to horror to anger spread across his features.
"I should have left you to the gods damned uruk-hai." Boromir muttered unhappily as we pushed together against the splintering oak.
Suddenly, the relentless pounding let up and men scurried to carry in large beams to barricade the door. "I'm going to help bring up some more logs to brace the gate. Don't follow me." Boromir commanded as soon as the first large beam had been thrown across the doors.
"But I thought you were going to protect me, my brave champion." I sang merrily to Boromir's rapidly retreating back.
Several minutes later Aragorn returned with Gimli, Legolas and the best of the archers- both human and elfin- who had stayed on the wall. The door was temporarily secure but we all knew the pounding would resume at any moment. Aragorn approached Theoden directly and I was about to join the impromptu council when I saw Orophin. My brother saw me at the same time and we ran to one another.
After embracing him and checking him over to make sure he was unhurt I asked the question most urgently on my mind: "Where is Rumil? I thought he was with you on the wall." It had pleased me immensely that my brothers were good enough with a bow to justify them staying in the relative safety of the fortress battlements. Now, however, fear was a tight knot in my belly. Rumil and Orophin should have stayed together.
"He took two arrows, one in his thigh, the other through his hand. He is in the infirmary. He should recover well enough." Orophin reassured me quickly. Relief surged through me and I hugged my brother tightly to me once again.
Taking my brother's arm I made my way to where Aragorn was speaking earnestly with Theoden. Rohan's king was busily bemoaning his fate and it was up to Aragorn to inquire about the possibility of saving the women and children. Still obviously feeling sorry for himself Theoden assured the dunadan that there was no time for the non-combatants to flee into the mountain. Boromir was looking incredulously at the leader of the rohirim. Legolas was gazing at the floor apparently embarrassed for Theoden's sake.
"Ride out with me." Aragorn said forcefully. "We will buy them all the time we can." A leader's responsibility was always to his people. It was shameful that Theoden could forget that but the ranger's words kindled something in the other man's eyes.
"Let us not wait here tamely to be butchered but sell our lives as dearly as we may." Aragorn's voice resounded with grim defiance and his face seemed to radiate with so fierce a resolve that it was akin to madness.
"Yes." Rohan's king breathed at last. "Yes, our swords shall sing together and the song will be heard through the ages."
"Together, Rohan and Gondor." Boromir announced, nodding in approval.
"And Lothlorien." I added. Once again that strange pride burned through me.
"And Mirkwood." Legolas put in his voice quieter but no less proud.
"And the Lonely Mountain." Gimli finished with a wild smile as he hefted his axe.
It took a few moments for the horses to be brought to the main gate. So many men had already died that there would be no shortage of mounts. Also word had to be sent back to the women and children to start down the dark and secret tunnels in the mountain. The infirmary would also be evacuated and I allowed myself to hope that Rumil might somehow manage to survive.
After so much frantic activity it was slightly disturbing to have a few minutes with nothing to kill but time. While the preparations were made for our sally, everyone occupied himself the best he could. Legolas sought among the dead for usable arrows. Gimli drank thirstily from his canteen and Boromir just stared out into the middle distance lost in his own thoughts. I still had Orophin's arm in my grasp and I saw no particular reason to let go. For his part my brother made no effort to free himself. Casually, I made my way toward Aragorn, Orophin necessarily following in my wake.
The man I was seeking was wiping the blood and gore from Anduril's blade and keeping an eye out for any situation that might benefit from his attention. Aragorn had a terse smile for me and for Orophin but he did not otherwise greet us. I had wanted to talk with the ranger but now that I was right next to him I was not sure how to begin.
"You light a fire under that man and he will sit around wondering why it is hot before he will take thought for his people." I finally commented in reference to Theoden. Orophin gave me a disapproving look. Mocking the leaders, even the incompetent ones, in mid-battle was contrary to his essentially dutiful nature. I had kept my voice low, however. It was not as though I was spreading dissension.
"You really would like for me to fetch a belt, wouldn't you?" Aragorn asked smiling now with genuine warmth. It was the ranger's peculiar talent that he could use my own remarks to give me a little of my own wit back. What was more, he did it without any rancor or ill will. He did not, as Galadriel sometimes had, recall my words out of context only to throw them vindictively back in my face. And how could I not be flattered that Aragorn thought enough of me to remember our conversations.
I laughed rather loudly earning several severe and some frightened looks. Struggling to regain my self-control, I gave Orophin's arm a reassuring squeeze. My brother did not understand the allusion and so had become rather nervous. A silence ensued and Orophin, uncertain why we were bothering the dark-haired man, started to shift his weight uncomfortably from foot to foot. I gave his arm another squeeze this time intending to communicate: 'Be still.'
"Well, whatever my feeling on that subject time presses too hard upon us to do anything about it." I began nonchalantly, then I turned somewhat serious. "I do not regret coming here." I finished finally able to come to the point even if it came out a bit abruptly.
"I am glad to hear you say that, Haldir. It eases my mind considerably." Aragorn said as he sheathed the now relatively clean Anduril and turned his full attention on me. "I do not have the time- and perhaps I do not have the words- to explain properly but none of this is in vain. Even if we fail it means something that we tried. Whatever the outcome here, something of the good prevails in our efforts and our trust in one another." It seemed to me Aragorn wanted to go on, to pin down more precisely his own feelings but the horses were beginning to crowd the courtyard and it was time.
"I think I understand." I replied as we made our way to the head of the column. I might have been overstating the level of my comprehension a little but I did truly have an idea about what he was talking about.
"I shall be proud to ride out with you, my friend." With these parting words the dunadan mounted and his attention was immediately claimed by Theoden.
I turned to Orophin who had been left a little bemused by the encounter with Aragorn. "My dear, are you ready?" I asked searching my brother's face.
With my question Orophin's eyes shone with conviction. "I have been ready a long time, my brother." Then he leaned forward to kiss my forehead. Without another word he found his horse and swung himself into the saddle. The unfamiliar trappings and accouterments confused him a moment but then he got the sense of it.
I watched him with pride until he turned to me and asked in his usual stolid fashion: "Are you coming?" I raised my eyebrows at him and found my own horse.
The gates were thrown open. No one gave any command but a visceral yell that started with Theoden and was soon echoed in a hundred throats signaled the beginning. We charged from the fortress cutting through the enemy as a scythe through wheat.
It did not take long for our triumphal sweep to be slowed to a crawl. The further we drove into the enemy the more quickly we became bogged down by their seemingly endless numbers. Throughout that long night we must have slogged through hundreds of the enemy but there were always more. It seemed the best we could do was delay the inevitable but a man wants to live no less than does an elf and our small army fought desperately for each more second of life.
Finally at dawn, reinforcements rose with the sun from behind the ridge to the east. The light glinting off the armor and naked steel of our rescuers dazzled us and sent a horrified shriek through the enemy host. Though the numbers still heavily favored the orcs and uruk-hai they were quickly put to panicked flight. The spirit of the dark army had been broken and they retreated in chaos.
The next few hours were mostly confusion as the allies routed the last of the orcs and brought in their own wounded. I found Orophin quickly and together we gathered what remained of our volunteer force. Rumil and the handful of others who had been wounded were healed enough to leave the infirmary, which was now overflowing with humans, and I was glad to see that they were all well on their way to recovery. In the end, however, of the sixty-three elves who had set out from Lothlorien twenty-four were dead. Laments were sung and obsequies performed. There would be a larger funeral ceremony for all the dead of Helm's Deep tomorrow but I thought it best to give the elves a chance to grieve immediately.
Aragorn and Legolas came for a while and joined their voices to our lament. I was surprised, but only a little, to see that the elf and elf-friend had brought Gimli, Boromir and the captain of the rohirim reinforcements, Eomer with them. The trio stood in silent attention to show respect for the dead. Perhaps it was just the emotion of the moment but I felt genuinely moved by their attendance.
The ranger did not stay long and when he left Boromir and Eomer followed him. The captain no doubt had much work ahead of him and I hoped the other two would be going to rest. Boromir had not been entirely recovered before the battle and he would need to take care that he did not become ill. As for Aragorn the dunedain looked exhausted. I could not guess how long it had been since last he slept but from his appearance I guessed he was near the end of his endurance.
When the songs had concluded for the time being it was a little passed noon. My next duty was to see all my elves quartered. Many of the elves were leery of sleeping within the stone fortress but the fields were littered with corpses for miles around. Once I had convinced them that it would be perfectly safe in the enclosing walls I had to find them a place. The keep was overflowing with refugees and I had almost despaired of ever finding room when Captain Eomer's sister, Eowyn, came forward and introduced herself. She had an entire wing cleared in little time and food put by for any who wished to eat before sleeping.
My duties finally discharged for the moment I decided to familiarize myself with the fortress. At first, the place struck me as just plain ugly but as I strolled through the corridors and archways I came to admire the solidity of the stronghold. I could see how instinct could drive one to hide in a place like this. One could feel protected here, insulated from everything including nature. It was stark, certainly, but there was comfort in the simplicity of stone. One could be overwhelmed by too much light and color.
I was about to take another circuit along the walls when I heard footsteps rapidly approaching. I stopped and turned to bow slightly to the lady Eowyn. She had been quietly competent earlier and I guessed that she was accustomed to seeing to all the necessary tasks that needed doing but offered no reward or thanks. Thus, I felt inclined to treat her with more respect than I was accustomed to granting upon a first acquaintance.
"Captain Haldir?" She called as she hurried toward me. "You are a friend to the lord Aragorn, are you not?"
"I am. Is there aught amiss?" I asked for her question boded ill.
"Not amiss, no." She assured me though she seemed hesitant. "I would be grateful, however, if you would come with me and speak with him."
"Should he not be sleeping?" I asked. The lady nodded in grim satisfaction as though she had said the same thing herself and been dismissed.
"What has he been doing" I asked gesturing for Eowyn to lead me where she would.
"Until an hour ago, he was in the infirmary." The princess replied. That made sense, of course. Just as I had seen to the needs of my elves he would wish to see to the needs of his men.
"Dirgo should have sent him to bed." I commented slightly annoyed at the healer. It was obvious the man needed rest desperately.
"I believe Master Dirgo was a little intimidated." Well, that was not impossible. "Also the lord Aragorn is a most skilled healer and we were very much in need of such." The lady finished.
"So where did he go an hour ago?" I asked following Eowyn's rapid footsteps down a flight of stairs.
"He claimed his hands were beginning to shake and he did not trust himself any longer to tend the wounded. I was relieved for I thought he finally meant to rest but he did not."
"So where is he now?" I asked becoming slightly alarmed for Eowyn had led me out of the keep and across the inner courtyard with no appearance of slowing down. The lady did not answer but only quickened her pace until we had gone out of the outer gate and surveyed the trampled earth of last night's battle.
Small groups of men roamed through the field identifying bodies, recording names and retrieving tokens for the dead men's loved ones. Orc and uruk-hai carcasses were being dragged to big pyres at the far end of the field. Other groups of men were busily digging long graves and it was to one of these groups that Eowyn led me.
Aragorn stood a little apart from the rest of the group stabbing his shovel into the hard earth and levering up clods of the hard packed dirt. He was deathly pale beneath his unkempt beard and the dirt streaking his face. His eyes were glassy and he did not seem to hear Eowyn when she called to him. The princess looked at me helplessly when it became apparent she would get no response. I truly had not anticipated this. I had no idea what the man was thinking. I was not entirely sure I was up to handling this situation but Eowyn was looking at me expectantly so I had to try something before running to fetch Legolas or some other who might have better insight into what was going on.
"Aragorn?" I asked, and a flicker of recognition lit his eyes for just a moment but the ranger said nothing only continued to shovel mechanically.
"Aragorn, what are you doing here?" I asked rather stupidly moving to his side and gently taking hold of the shovel and putting it aside.
"If I cannot heal them then I must help to bury them." Aragorn answered in a dull murmur as he looked around for the shovel which he only just now realized had somehow escaped his grip.
"There will be time enough for that tomorrow. Come, you are nearly asleep on your feet," I told him, taking his hand so I could lead him away from the grave site.
"Elves always think there is enough time but there isn't. There never is." The dunedain said sadly though he allowed me to take his hand. We had gone only a few steps when Aragorn stumbled. I caught him about the waist and Eowyn darted over to take his other arm.
Together Eowyn and I half carried half led the ranger through Helm's Deep into a long corridor well away from the hustle and bustle of the kitchens and the main hall. Eowyn went ahead a few paces and flung wide a doorway at the end of the corridor. I maneuvered Aragorn through the door and let him sink down upon the large bed in the center of the room.
With practiced efficiency Eowyn bent and began removing the man's boots while I surveyed the room. There was one window that opened onto the east, thick drapes did not quite shut out all the light, though it was well into the afternoon by now. There was also a fire in the hearth and covered dishes as well as a basin of water. The lady had obviously prepared this room especially for Aragorn a long time ago.
"Stop, I can do that." Aragorn insisted when he finally noticed that Eowyn was on her knees before him pulling at his muddy boots. The lady ignored the feeble protests. I left off wool-gathering and lent the lady assistance. Eowyn did not seem to take notice that her hands were now streaked with blood and dirt from the ranger's boots. I continued to help her to make Aragorn comfortable by removing his chain-mail shirt and heavy tunic.
Eowyn had turned to fetch a cloth so that she could wipe away some of the dirt and sweat that had accumulated since the dunedain had washed to tend to the sick but he caught her arm and spoke in a slightly stilted version of his usual soft deep voice: "Kindness always takes the greatest courage, Eowyn, remember that. But I foresee that you will have your battle and win great renown though that alone will not give you the victory you truly seek." As soon as he had finished speaking Aragorn dropped the lady's arm and his eyes momentarily alert dimmed once more.
"My lord?" Eowyn asked in confusion. "What do you mean?" Aragorn did not answer. He might have been technically asleep at that point although he was still sitting upright.
"The blood of the Numenor runs strong in Aragorn and often such men as he are gifted with second sight." I explained rather impressed by what I guessed had happened. "The boundaries between worlds are no doubt weaker in the state he is in. I believe he has told your fortune, my lady." Eowyn looked thoughtful as she proceeded to press a wet cloth to Aragorn's forehead but she had no comment. It seemed to me she expected- or maybe only hoped- that Aragorn would say more. Perhaps the lady was disappointed that Aragorn had said nothing about her future husband. Was that not the most critical event in a woman's future.
Finally, when we had made Aragorn as comfortable as practical we eased the ranger down into the bed. His eyes had already closed before his head touched the pillow. I covered him with a large quilt that depicted horses in various poses of noble exertion. As Eowyn adjusted the coverlet I noticed that she let her fingers rest a trifle longer than strictly necessary upon the man's shoulder.
"I will look after him for a while. I am grateful for your help." I said rather abruptly. Eowyn turned eyes upon me that were suddenly very cold and somehow I knew that she had been on the verge of saying the very same words. Though she did not protest she did give me what the superstitious might have referred to as the 'evil eye' before she left the room.
Sighing softly I barred the door after her. I was suddenly very tired. Having quickly stripped down to my leggings I gazed at the man already fast asleep. On a sudden whim I leaned close to Aragorn and asked in a whisper: "Will you not prophesy for me, my lord?" The dunadan did not so much as stir. I had not really expected him to. If I had a destiny, which was perhaps a doubtful prospect in itself, then surely it had already been fulfilled. Still I could not quite suppress a small feeling of jealousy for the lady Eowyn. She had a future and what did I have but a wasted past?
I awoke with a start. The first thing I was aware of was that it was too dark. The realization that I was no longer in the Golden Wood came slowly but eventually my memory caught up to my mind. What little light there was revealed that Aragorn had risen from bed and was investigating what lay upon the covered plates.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you." Aragorn called out softly upon perceiving that I was no longer asleep.
"How do you feel?" I asked sitting up in bed. I hoped that the ranger had slept off whatever grim compulsion had been upon him yesterday.
"Very hungry." Aragorn stated decidedly finally selecting a plate and starting in on the contents. After a moment the ranger spoke again. "I need to thank you and Eowyn for taking care of me yesterday. That has never happened before. I don't know how to explain it except to say that somehow I thought that if I stopped working then something terrible would happen. I know it makes little sense." It made rather more sense then I cared to admit so I contented myself with nodding sympathetically. It was generous of the man not to ask why 'taking care of him' had had to involve me sleeping in his bed, but I suppose the ranger already knew why and was being considerate of my pride.
"Well, you were being a bit more morbid than truly appropriate for a victorious general." I said lightly before continuing with more sincerity. "It was not the least trouble, Aragorn. Our only concern was for your health for what shall become of us if anything were to happen to you."
The man did not reply for a while and when he spoke again he changed the subject. "Would you like some of this, Haldir?" He offered gesturing to the several covered plates he had not yet devoured. "There is enough here to satisfy even a hobbit's appetite."
"Well, if there is such a superabundance. . ." I said taking a large slice of bread and a plate of stew and preparing to sit back on the bed with the plate on my lap.
"Come, sit here by me on the divan. I want to sleep a little more later and I shall sleep better without being surrounded by bread crumbs." Aragorn said holding out his hand in invitation.
"Well, my dear lord of the dawn, You win one battle against fierce and incredible odds and you become not only lazy but more fastidious than any ranger has a right to be." I said, chucking a bread crumb at him-which he reflexively batted away before it hit him. Then I settled comfortably beside the ranger on the divan.
"It is said: that success will change a man." Aragorn replied with a little more irony than was purely needed. "But tell me, Haldir, how did you come to be enlisted yesterday to help Eowyn with me? Did she waken you or were you having difficulty sleeping yourself?"
"No, I have never needed much sleep, even for an elf. It is the only way I am able to get everything done." I said, pleased that Aragorn thought to ask about my own mental state after the combat.
"Is Galadriel such a demanding task-mistress?" Aragorn asked with an amused smile.
I froze a moment and then consciously trying to relax I shrugged. "The lady and I have parted ways. I am no longer welcome in the Golden Wood." I said as impassively as I could manage.
"Oh, Haldir, I'm so sorry!" Aragorn exclaimed in equal measures of surprise and sympathy. Seeing the rather piteous slump of my shoulders and the glum expression on my face. The ranger made the effort to calm himself before continuing: "Would you like to talk about it?" He asked, sounding like he was ready to listen patiently or move on to another topic whichever I preferred.
"I suppose I must or I would not have told you." I said, a little unsure about how I felt exactly. Aragorn waited patiently for me to collect my thoughts and it took several minutes but I was finally able to start: "The more I think about it the more it seems to me that it was a long time coming. Yet, I can think of no change in how either one of us acted until you arrived. It was only then that I realized that I had not been happy for quite a while."
"It is no breach of confidence to say that Galadriel does not like you the least little bit- Champion of light and king of tomorrow though you be In fact, if she were given a choice between you and Sauron she would probably have to think about it a while." I said glancing at the man to gauge his reaction to my words.
"If I were in Galadriel's place I wouldn't like me very much either." Aragorn responded calmly, putting an arm about my shoulders.
"Well, there you see." I said as if Aragorn had just proven my point exactly. "Galadriel never bothered to try and see anything from someone else's perspective. She can see into hearts and minds but that is not the same thing as understanding and it is not the same thing as caring. When you came I learned things could be different, that I wanted things to be different. I mean, there was nothing wrong with my life until I realized how much better it could be. I know that makes me selfish but everything I had just wasn't enough. I wanted to do something for myself and I wanted to do something because it mattered" I said finally surrendering in the losing battle with coherence.
"You are not selfish, Haldir. You spent- what? hundreds? thousands?- of years with Galadriel. You were perfectly within your rights to decide that was enough." Aragorn consoled and I was comforted just by the fact the man was willing to speak to me with compassion. I would decide how much to believe those compassionate words later.
"The worst part was when I told her that I would return to her if she was able to forgive me. I was almost certain there would be no way that she could forgive. But in that moment I was terrified that she would say yes and then I would be bound to her forever." As I talked I slowly allowed myself to lean against Aragorn's side. I thought that perhaps I should be more stoic about the situation but once I had succumbed I could not bring myself to pull away.
"I am glad that I left. It will be an adjustment, certainly, but I think that perhaps Galadriel and I are both better off. I know the last thing you intended was to become involved in Lorien's sordid little domestic affairs but I am very grateful that you came along." I finished, feeling a sense of relief and also of closure.
"I certainly hope that I had very little to do with the breakdown of relations between you and the lady." Aragorn said cautiously and I realized that I should have been more sensitive to the fact that the ranger already felt guilty about the mounting tension between Arwen and her grandmother. I had only meant to thank him for being good to me and showing me what I had not seen on my own. I was about to explain this but before I could formulate the words Aragorn spoke again. "How ever it came about, though- and perhaps I overstep in saying this, but I think this will work out for the best. You have a great deal of potential, Haldir, which you were never called upon to develop in the Golden Wood." I wriggled even closer to the man feeling that he had said a very kind thing.
We sat contentedly together for a while. Aragorn had finished his own food and then finished mine when it became clear I had already had what I wanted. I had begun to think how very easy it would be to love this man, to build my world around him. In a way, I loved him already but if I allowed myself Aragorn could well become the driving passion of my life. It would not be the same as it had been with Galadriel for Aragorn roused feelings and motivations in me I had barely even known existed before. I was planning how best to broach this subject with the least amount of awkwardness when Aragorn interrupted my thoughts with a question that demonstrated his mind had been running along a completely different track:
"Haldir, when you came looking for me at the bathing pool and then afterward when we went to your talan, was that your will or the lady's?" The man asked as though he was not entirely sure he wanted to know the answer but had to ask anyway.
"You mean: was poor, helpless Haldir coerced into sex despite his principles and modest virtue? How can you even worry about that?" I asked mystified. Who had filled this otherwise very sensible man's head with so much self-doubt?
"Call it 'human prudishness' and humor me." The ranger requested smiling slightly.
"Galadriel did want me to become acquainted even friendly with you but having outlined that grand strategy the tactics were totally within my discretion. If I hadn't wanted to go to bed with you then I would not have. But as it happened, I wanted to very much." I said kissing the man's cheek affectionately.
"And what other tactics would have met with Galadriel's approval?" Aragorn probed still not entirely satisfied I was telling the complete truth.
"Well, the possibilities are almost endless for earning someone's gratitude and trust in a short time: Had I been so inclined, I could have baked you a nice pudding- you would be surprised how often that works. Or if you proved intransigent then Boromir might have, for example, been roaming through the forest, been mauled by a wild boar and then saved in the nick of time by my skillful bow. Of course, had I known then what a miserable patient Boromir is I would have discarded that notion out of hand. Then, hypothetically, Merry or Pippin might have broken some age-old taboo, getting themselves into terrible trouble that only I- as the resident expert on all things taboo- could have smoothed over for them. Or Gimli might-Are you laughing at me, Son of Arathorn?" I demanded suddenly.
Aragorn was beyond speech. I felt his body as it pressed against mine convulsed with barely suppressed mirth. "Because, I will have you know that the penalties in the Golden Wood for violating the ancient Sindarin stricture against concealing lembas in one's trousers are excessively severe." That was it. Aragorn laughed so hard tears streamed from his eyes. His merriment was contagious and I laughed with him, amused by his amusement. It was so good to be with him. There was truly no other like him.
"If you are still in need of reassurance," I began when Aragorn was a little calmer, "then perhaps we should see what happens now that we are alone together and Galadriel no longer has influence over my actions." So saying I put the empty plates on the floor, straddled the ranger's lap and raised an inquiring eyebrow.
"You are so impossibly lovely, Haldir." Aragorn finally answered taking my face in his hands and looking into my eyes with an expression that sent all the blood racing to my groin. Turning my head I kissed and nuzzled each of his hands one after the other. "I would gladly accept your reassurance but tell me, dear one- for how you feel is of great importance to me- would you find some lightening of your own troubles in my embrace?"
"Are you asking me to beg?" I inquired smiling. "You must know I crave your touch. Ah, but if it will please you to hear me say it then, yes, my mind is easier when you kiss me and my heart knows no pain with your arms are around me. So kiss me, hold me, desire me, possess me." Having made my demands I swooped down upon his mouth and kissed him fiercely. In moments I was grinding against the man urgently while Aragorn kneaded the firm flesh of my backside.
"Oh gods!" I whispered softly lifting my head so that Aragorn could rake his lips down my throat. The ranger's mouth seared and burned me making me ache with desperate need. My fingers curled spasmodically around the man's shoulders. I pressed even harder against Aragorn's groin, feeling him harden and swell in response to my movements.
With a small groan the dundadan eased his body forward on the divan pulling me closer and making more room for my knees to extend behind him. Unfastening my claw-like grip on my human lover's shoulders I threw one arm about his neck holding his head tightly to my throat where he was still sucking gently. I thrust my other hand between us running it up and down his torso, experiencing again the sensation of short soft hairs covering his chest and running down his stomach in a dark line to his sex.
When my fingertips grazed his nipple Aragorn's breath hitched and his hands on my rump paused mid-squeeze. "Ah, Haldir, do that again." the man breathed reaching up to loosen the hold I had around his neck and then stroking my back in soft entreaty. My already rigid shaft pulsed at the prospect of finding something that would truly please my human lover. Slowly I let my fingers trace a small spiral around and around the small mound of brown flesh until I was softly pressing the tightening bud. Aragorn was humming in appreciation the noise sending tingles through me.
After a while I replaced my fingers with my tongue. The ranger leaned back onto the divan, sighing blissfully. I suckled gently sealing my lips onto his flesh and flicked my tongue lightly onto the peaked nipple. Aragorn's hands had left my back. For a while he let his fingers tangle in my hair as he held my head in place as I continued eagerly applying my mouth, lips and tongue to his delightfully responsive flesh. Then one hand wandered down to brush across my throbbing erection still closely confined in its cloth prison. My body jerked at the contact but I quickly returned to my work with ever-increasing enthusiasm.
Aragorn's light caresses were becoming maddening but I possessed yet untapped depths of self-control. Brushing across his chest with a long swipe of my tongue I attacked the other nipple with fierce determination. I rocked into the man's hand even as I tried to focus on giving him pleasure but it was becoming too much. Aragorn must have agreed for he used his grip on my hair to tip my head up so he could ravage my mouth. Moaning I surrendered to the kiss while thrusting my hips forward desperate to obliterate the cloth barrier between my painfully hard sex and the man's touch.
Taking a more practical approach to achieving the union of man and elf Aragorn started to push down my leggings while still stabbing deeply into my mouth with his tongue. The soft cloth felt impossibly rough against my over-sensitive skin and I nearly wept as the fabric was drawn down over my erection. In order to strip completely, however, I had to shift my position somewhat. Wanting to keep as much contact as possible I leaned my weight onto Aragorn's shoulders so I could lift my knees enough for the ranger to remove the rest of my clothes.
Now happily naked, myself, I started pushing and tugging at Aragorn's trousers. My human lover half rose holding me about the waist with one arm and helping me push down his trousers with the other. When our combined efforts had the material at mid thigh level Aragorn sat down and kicked the trousers the rest of the way off. We kissed for a moment in celebration as we each reached to touch the other's heated shaft.
I was about to duck my head to go after his nipples once more but he stopped me with a hand on my chin. "What do you want, my lovely Haldir?" He asked his voice heavy with sex and power. So it was my turn, was it? I grinned happily as I took his hands and placed them carefully against my buttocks. My human lover grinned back as he began softly caressing me. Rising slightly on my knees I kissed Aragorn while I pushed my hips backward so my buttocks opened a little in needy invitation.
Strong fingers roamed from the backs of my knees to the small of my back. Once he pinched me and I moaned loudly jerking my hips back while my knees slid further apart on the divan. This made Aragorn smile broadly against my mouth. Inexorably his hands moved between my buttocks, exploring the dark cleft. I felt passion and desire beginning to coil deep inside me so it was with great impatience and some alarm that I felt Aragorn break our kiss and look around the room as though searching for something.
"What?" I asked a little petulantly, taking a firm hold of the pulsing iron between my human lover's legs and stroking in an attempt to regain his full attention.
Aragorn's eyes closed and he groaned but doggedly he regained mastery of himself. "I had some salve in my gear but my things must have been put somewhere else." The man explained in between deep rasping breaths. Damn! Practicalities again.
"I don't care." I decided. He was big and it had been a bit of a shock the first time but elves were supple and flexible. I could take it. "We can make do." I took his hand and brought it to my mouth so I could suck his fingers and we could get on with the increasingly urgent business before us.
The man's eyes drifted closed again as I ran my lips and tongue over his fingers but then suddenly opened again. "There was butter for the bread." Aragorn said hopefully. "Would that be all right?" My mouth was full so I just nodded. I didn't care what he put in me so long as his hard flesh followed quickly.
"Haldir, lovely one, it's on the table. I have to go get it." My human lover informed me after a moment of futilely trying to shift me off of him.
"So go get it." I answered around his fingers. Sighing fondly Aragorn forcibly withdrew his hand from my mouth. Then wrapping an arm tightly around my waist he rose and carefully shuffled the few feet to the table. I was busy kissing his neck but I heard the clatter of dishes and assorted cutlery as Aragorn searched for the butter. When the ranger gave a triumphant growl we started back to the divan. In no time the man had collapsed into his former place and I once again straddled his lap.
The butter actually felt very nice when my human lover breached my body with a slick finger. I pushed against him, far too wound up to tolerate a slow and gentle pace. Another finger was added in response to my demand and I moaned my appreciation. When I was comfortable with three of Aragorn's long fingers working inside me I took the last of the soft butter from the dish. The butter melted quickly against the searing heat of Aragorn's erection and as I spread the greasy substance all over him I could not help but think he looked good enough to eat.
"Ready!" I announced huskily when I had thoroughly coated the man's thick shaft. The fingers were withdrawn as Aragorn slid forward on the divan. I tipped my body forward and the ranger helped support my weight as I carefully guided myself all the way down onto the man's length. Aragorn's eyes were shut tightly and I was biting my lip as we both stayed very still letting my body open to him.
When I finally began to move a little Aragorn released the breath he had been holding and thrust upward carefully, forcing a moan of agonized satisfaction passed my lips. After a few more cautious thrusts I started using the muscles in my thighs to lift and lower myself in synchrony with Aragorn's thrusts. The ranger leaned forward to kiss me and I melted against his mouth as the pace and intensity of his hard upward strokes increased.
Shifting a little the man experimented with the angle of his hammer-like blows until he hit his intended target and I went suddenly rigid as though with an electrical shock. I might very well have tumbled backward onto the floor in an extraordinarily humiliating- not to say painful display- but Aragorn's hands on my hips held me like a vice. I was moaning now at every well-aimed strike letting the pleasure wash through me.
Feeling the time was near Aragorn took hold of my weeping and neglected erection. The sensation of my human lover's tight fist around my full and aching shaft completely overwhelmed me for a moment. My muscles went weak and I dropped downward impaling myself completely upon the burning steel of Aragorn just as the man was beginning to thrust upward. We both groaned and the ranger's fist squeezed me even tighter.
So much, too much! With no more thought of finesse or maintaining a rhythm Aragorn tugged harshly on my straining member as he pushed up into me as though his life depended on it. Finally, it was more than I could take. It was as though pleasure had been tightly coiled within me and then compressed beneath unendurable pressure and now the coil was springing upward, exploding outward with unstoppable energy.
Lost in my cosmic expansion I was still aware that Aragorn continued driving into me. I had fallen forward onto his chest and he supported my weight even as he still rocketed in me punctuating each thrust with a small grunt. The ranger was like a force of nature. I felt the beginning of Aragorn's orgasm, first, as an earthquake. The body that sheltered and supported me started to shake and there was a rumble as my human lover groaned harshly. Then it became a volcanic eruption as scalding spurts of liquid shot up into me overrunning and drowning everything.
We rested a moment still fused together. Then, Aragorn lifted me gently so that he could slip free of my body. Moaning a little, I moved around until I was lying on my side on the divan with my head resting against Aragorn's thigh. The man was still breathing hard and no doubt felt utterly boneless but his hands found my hair burying themselves in the golden strands.
"Do you suppose anyone heard us? An army could have started howling at the door and I would not have noticed." I commented, feeling far too relaxed and happy to really care if anyone heard or not but still desiring a little conversation.
"I don't suppose so or they would still be howling." Aragorn replied bestirring himself so far as to retrieve a napkin from one of the abandoned plates and cleaning my seed from his stomach. "Noises don't tend to carry in a fortress the way they do in a forest."
"I suppose that would make voyeurism a bit more difficult. I suppose that is part of what makes humanity generally so surly." I speculated idly. Aragorn laughed and then fell silent as though an idea had just occurred to him.
"What of your elves, Haldir? Are they quartered nearby?" Now I laughed.
"Why? Are you worried for your reputation, O Master of the Future and Seducer of Corrupt Elves?" I asked, wriggling more comfortably against the man.
"You are not corrupt, lovely one." The man replied caressing the side of my face. "Besides is it not your reputation that should be of concern, O Lord of the Sharp Knives and Sharper Wit and Fraternizer with Lowly Humans?"
"Well my own reputation is passed harming." I informed the man. "But, in any event, you need not fear my elves. We have held council and besides the seven who wish to travel on to Valinor immediately we are all committed to you for the duration of this war."
Aragorn paused, growing serious and thoughtful. "That is perhaps too generous." He murmured.
"I think we will find the rewards worth the effort." I said, repeating the words he had said to me concerning the care of Boromir. Aragorn smiled at the allusion but his eyes soon lost their focus and I could see he was still a little troubled.
"If you wish it I would commit myself to you beyond the end of this war. I don't know what use an old elf- perhaps more accustomed to battles with words than battles with swords- might be to the King of Gondor but I am willing to serve." I offered shifting onto my elbow so that I could meet the man's gaze.
"Haldir, I-"
"Ah, you need not continue." I said reaching up to stroke the man's cheek before lying back once more. I heard the answer in his voice. I saw it in his eyes. "You do not wish it." I stated. In truth, I was disappointed but not surprised.
"Haldir, you mistake me. You know that- provided we succeed and that I manage to find acceptance there myself- you will always be welcome in Gondor or anywhere else where my opinion holds sway. There will always be a place for you in whatever capacity you choose. I daresay there will be some tasks with which I will always need help but might it not be better for you to serve yourself for a time?" Aragorn asked, lifting me up a little so that he could hold me in a loose embrace.
"I don't doubt you're right." I responded disconsolately, though I did sit up so the man could fit his arms around me. "But I'm not quite sure how to go about it. I mean, if you will not have me then what is there for me to do but slink away to Valinor where all is serene and tranquil. They don't need warriors in Blessed Realm. They probably don't even need gatekeepers. They really wouldn't need anything. Why would they? What is more, I have a feeling that the Valar will be even less tolerant of back-chat than Galadriel was." I was very glad I had my back to the man for- to my chagrin- I felt dangerously close to tears.
"As I recall I distinctly said that I would have you and most gladly." Aragorn said tightening his arms about me. "I would only have you consider your options lest I do you an unfriendly turn by keeping you all to myself when there is all of Middle-Earth before you." I digested this for a moment, already greatly comforted.
"You know, my dear," Aragorn continued, "that Legolas has been considering plans to settle some of the Mirkwood elves who yet desire to remain on these shores somewhere in or near Ithilien." I didn't know that but more relevant was that Aragorn's exact intention in telling me was not immediately clear.
"Are you saying I could help administer a colony of Mirkwood elves?" I asked perking up a little as I weighed the suggestion.
"Not necessarily but it is a possibility." Aragorn said obviously pleased that my good humor was reasserting itself. "Then, too, I would not be surprised if your brothers have an idea or two of their own. I am not well acquainted with Rumil and Orophin but I can tell they are devoted to you. You must not ever think you are abandoned, Haldir." I turned around and hugged the man as hard as I could. I suppose I should have told Aragorn something eloquent and demonstrative of my deep and genuine feelings but I knew I simply did not have the right words so I just hugged him for a long time.
"Whatever else I may find to do, Aragorn, if you ever have a task which would call for my talents then send for me. If you need an enemy talked to death, if you want to maintain your humility by having someone around to constantly point out your flaws and mistakes or if you need someone to bring Boromir to heel then I'm your elf." I said when I finally pulled away.
"I will rely upon your word." The ranger said gravely.
"Excellent. But since I have just spent the last half hour or so thoroughly humiliating myself I'm going to have to do something to regain my dignity." I announced. "So I hope you understand that I have no choice but to tell you that, for your own good, you must to go to bed and get some more sleep, my lord. And furthermore, I refuse to discuss the issue."
"I understand." Aragorn replied as meekly as he could given that he was struggling hard not to smirk.
"Well, just so long as you do." I acknowledged raising Aragorn's hand to my lips and kissing it with sincere reverence. I was feeling myself again or rather I was feeling the first stirrings of my new self.
I dressed quickly as Aragorn donned his trousers and returned to the bed yawning copiously. I put the room back in order then looked around checking one last time to make sure there was nothing around that might distress anyone casually looking in on the ranger. Seeing nothing untoward I went to the window and adjusted the drapery. The sky was just starting to lighten and I didn't want Aragorn's sleep disturbed.
When I had done everything that could be done to excuse me for staying longer I went over to the bed. Aragorn lay peacefully, his breathing slow and even. I bent and softly kissed his lips. His eyes did not open but I could have sworn I felt him return a gentle pressure. I went to the door and then whispered softly- but not so softly that it could escape the sharp ears of a ranger: "Sleep well, my lord." Then I slipped out closing the door behind me.
I had a great deal to think about and my mind was all awhirl as I strode down the corridor away from the sleeping Aragorn. So distracted was I that when I rounded the corner I barreled into the equally distracted Legolas and Gimli.
"Well, this is awkward." I observed, dusting my tunic at the site of the collision.
"Haldir, we thought you were still asleep." Gimli greeted.
"Hardly." I said a little affronted. I had been up for at least a couple of hours.
"Do you know which room belongs to Aragorn?" Legolas asked without any preliminaries. "We spoke to the lady Eowyn and we are concerned. Aragorn has been under such an awful strain and from what Eowyn said I fear he might be upset." Legolas said obviously upset himself.
"The ranger is sleeping now." I said feeling superior and making no effort to keep the emotion from filtering into my voice. "But he is in the last room on the left. He really does need his sleep but if you feel you must wake him I'm sure he will be polite about it."
"And how would you know how the man is doing?" The dwarf questioned suspiciously. I didn't take that personally, though. Suspicion seemed to be a constant personality trait for Gimli.
"While all of you were having your well-earned rest Aragorn was, in fact, a bit upset. I happened to be available and naturally kind-hearted so the ranger and I had a good talk and now he is resting." I reported succinctly.
"You and Aragorn had a good talk and now the man is resting?" Legolas repeated disbelievingly.
"Just so." I confirmed. Gimli seemed to accept the situation and his expression denoted that he was relieved that his friend was well. The elf, on the other hand, was not the least bit pleased, He was obviously torn between running to Aragorn's room upon the instant and checking to make sure I had not killed the man and hidden his body in a closet and accepting my story. By his sour look I surmised neither alternative held much attraction for the elf.
"Don't take it so hard, Legolas." I comforted. "Once we've dealt with this business of the Dark Lord and otherwise set the world to rights I'll be on my merry way and then I'm sure you will be the favorite again." Gimli was struggling loyally not to chuckle at this. It was an effort that was not aided by the prince of Mirkwood's pouting expression. Legolas, apparently, wanted to be the favorite again now.
"Are you sure Galadriel doesn't need you back right away?" The prince inquired. "One can't be to careful where the safety of Lorien is concerned."
"As it happens I will not be returning to the Golden Wood." I said realizing that I no longer felt anxiety about that situation.
"Oh?" Legolas asked suddenly very interested- and I noticed- willing to be sympathetic. The dwarf's curiosity was also mildly aroused. Eyeing the dwarf's rather large axe I had occasion to hope that Gimli never took it into his head to conclude I had wronged Galadriel.
"Indeed, so you see I can devote myself whole heartedly to this war and its successful resolution." If Legolas wanted more detail he was going to have to ask me nicely. "Afterward I thought I might spend some time Imladris." I mused picking up on a thought I had let slip when the elf and dwarf bumped into me.
"What is in Imladris?" Legolas wondered in the tone of one who feels he has lost control of the direction of the conversation and despairs of getting it back.
"Glorfindel and Erestor, of course. I'd rather like to find out what they have been up to recently. . . And then see if I can't do better." Waving pleasantly at the now baffled elf and dwarf I continued down the hall.
I was on my way to see my brothers. I had a great deal I wanted to discuss with them and I felt eager to hear their opinions. Walking through the fortress, however, I paused for a moment. My attention had been caught by an open balcony. As I stepped outside the sun was just cresting the hills to the east. A new day had begun and, wonder of wonders, I would be there to see it.
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