Dear Aragorn,
I no longer can suppress my need for revealing all my thoughts to you. The mere idea of you being inthe company heading to Mt. Doom beside me leaves me agitated, and ever since the Gondorian warrior spoke at the council the haunting picture of your furrowed brow at his thoughtless words is sticking with me, is in my mind every waking moment.
I am honored to be part of the Fellowship, but I remember too well the abandoned Ring on the pedestal, and Boromir groping for it, feeling at your absence, the situation would have been beyond control, and did thence improve itself thoroughly by merely giving me the command to sit down, as I should not have seized the opportunity of showing my affection. I am sorry for my insolence of speaking in your stead, and hope that you embrace my heartfelt apology. The Hobbits have clearly developed an attraction towards you, meaning that I believe they truly trust you as their leader, and would do anything you wanted, and with combining obedience with their natural frolicking your highly sensitive chieftain mind would sense their pure devotedness and would have you undoubtedly approve of it.
You need not underestimate your abilities, I can clearly imagine your mighty sword, how you reassure the Fellowship's every member - wielding it with nimble fingers you would deftly slice through our foes, and afterwards sheath it aptly inside the tight scabbard at your side. I also can hear the calling of the Ring deep inside me, in regions usually inaccessible, though I cannot be tempted like others, with you being the solely exception. The enticement seems so I understand, beyond resistance, becoming hardly bearable, and the gradually swelling pressure misguiding its chosen victim to obey without pan-ick, which appears to me in my mind an altogether deceitful way to gain sway, and an uninviting enhancement. I know that you, Aragorn, in your noble manner as rightful King of Gondor, have the power and assigned skill to resist that force, and in doing so could change our future to the better, if you would only trust in yourself as I do, knowing that you would never yield to the temptation.
Please rest assured, that although I once thought that in satisfying my urge to disabuse Boromir of his estimation of you, the entire situation would improve, I am determined to contain myself, and my former assumptions have now finally left me. The importance of my controlling myself has turned into settled knowledge. If you would only screw up the courage and face your predestined fate, believe me, you would make me eternally happy, as I would finally see you become King, with a people who love you wholeheartedly.
Truly yours, Legolas.
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Love Letter by The Mad Elf Banger
Story notes: It's not perfect, but hey, I'm not Tolkien!
Chapter end notes: dunno yet, perhaps I will make a sequel continuing when Aragorn finally finds out the *true* meaning of Legolas' letter ... when reading only every second line ya dudes, bwahahahahaha! Let me know if I should and I'll get busy... and if you think it's crappy then, well, I won't.