A walk was just what Frodo needed. Visiting his relatives in Buckland was always a bit of a departure from what he was accustomed to. Bag End was a quiet place, with just himself and, occasionally, Sam for company, but Brandy Hall was teeming with aunts, uncles and cousins. It was a little overwhelming if the truth be told.
He walked down the path and through the trees near the river, looking for a good spot to stop and read for a while. As he neared the river, he could discern the sound of voices up ahead. As he drew closer he could hear the conversation more distinctly.
"Mine's bigger," said Merry, decisively.
"'Tis not," Pippin replied.
"Oh, come on, Pip. You know it is."
"Prove it!"
Frodo's eyebrows climbed his forehead. What in the Shire were his cousins up to now?
"Take a look," said Pippin. A pause. "Now let's see yours."
"All right, there." Merry's voice again.
"That's no bigger than mine, Merry," Pippin said rather scornfully.
"Sure it is, Pip. Look how long it is."
Frodo's eyes were as big as saucers and his eyebrows had completely disappeared into the jumble of curls on his forehead. He listened more closely as the debate continued.
"Look how much thicker it is," Merry directed. "And the head – "
Frodo could stand it no longer. He had caught his cousins at something he could use to torment them for the rest of their natural lives! He emerged from the trees, making just enough noise to make his presence known. Merry and Pippin stood with their backs to him, facing the river. Upon hearing his approach, they stopped speaking and turned around to face him.
Frodo dissolved in a fit of helpless laughter. As he leaned against the tree for support, tears running down his reddened face, his cousins stood before him, each one holding in his hands – a line with a fish on the end!
"Come on, Cousin Frodo," Pippin chirped. "You tell us who caught the bigger fish."
"Yes, Frodo. Do tell us whose is bigger," Merry agreed.
Frodo pulled himself together with difficulty, and considered. "Merry's," he finally answered. As a mischievous grin spread across his face, he continued, "But you didn't hear that from me!" He turned and walked down the path the way he had come, starting to giggle again. Before long, peals of laughter rang once more through the woods.
"What do you suppose was wrong with him, Merry?" Pippin inquired.
"I haven't the faintest, Pip."
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Mine's Bigger by Mbradford
Story notes: Just something insane I came up with while working on longer, heavier stuff.
