In a silent bedroom two figures lay in a big old bed, peace in both their faces. As the sun found its way through the window one of the shapes stirred and opened his eyes. Sam welcomed the day with a deep yawn, smiling as he thought about the dream he had last night. He and Mr. Frodo... Suddenly he became aware of the fact that he wasn't in his room.
Where am I?! he thought and lifted his head to look around. The warmth of another body made him look down, and there, resting his head on Sam's chest lay Frodo. Sam almost jumped out of the bed in his surprise.
Bless me! he thought, That's why the dream was so lifelike! With a shivering hand he ran his fingers trough Frodo's dark curls, afraid it all was just a dream still. But the image didn't disappear into a blur and Frodo's heavy breathing sounded like music in Sam's ears.
Now, don't you start whining Sam Gamgee! Sam said to himself as he struggled with the emotions that welled through him like a river in early spring. Still, a big tear found it's way from under Sam's eyelid and ran silently down his cheek and neck, followed by new, warm tears.
What are you sobbing about, imbecile, this is what you've wanted the most of your life! Sam urgently tried to stop the flood of tears with the back of his hand, but as soon as he saw the sleeping figure resting on his chest again the tears returned with renewed power.
Suddenly Frodo stirred and opened his eyes as if he'd been disturbed in his sleep, but the feeling of Sam's body close to him soon calmed him down and his body relaxed.
"Good morning, my Sam!" Frodo lifted his head and kissed Sam's neck, eyes closed. "But Sam, are you crying? You taste of salt," Frodo said and lifted his gaze.
"I'm so sorry Mr. Frodo! I always seem to ruin the moment," Sam answered and once more dried his eyes. "I don't know why I'm weeping, I guess it's because my heart is so happy it has to get rid of some of the happiness."
Frodo looked at Sam, heart trembling, and kissed his cheeks. "I love you, Sam," he said. "I wish we could stay this way forever!"
Sam closed his eyes for a moment. "I think that is partly why I'm crying, Sir," he said, and his eyes went sad. "We both want this so much, and still we both know it is impossible." Outside they both heard the singing of birds praising the new day and the distant sound of couples laughing in the daylight after spending the night under the stars. "We will never have what they have," Sam sighed and looked at Frodo with eyes dark with sadness. "Never will we feel the joy of laughing together in the sunlight."
Frodo shook his head. "What do you mean?" he said. "We laugh in the sunlight all the time!"
"But not like that," Sam said. "Not like lovers." He pulled Frodo closer as if he tried to shut out the world around him. "We're doomed to sneak around, hiding."
"I know, Sam," Frodo answered and felt like crying himself. "I wish there was a way to change the world. Do you think there is a word for two like us?"
"Yes there is," Sam said, quietly, tightening his embrace; "Soulmates."
They both went quiet for a while, lying in each others arms preparing for what had to come. I wish I could stay in your embrace forever, Sam Gamgee! Frodo thought, and couldn't hold back the tears any more. He didn't know if he was capable of denying his feelings anymore now that he knew Sam felt the same way about him. But he had to. There was too great a risk. Frodo didn't bother much about his own reputation -- he was a Baggins, so people wouldn't expect more from him -- but Sam... They should not have the pleasure of dragging Sam down in the mud with him!
"Sam," he finally said, filled with unbearable sadness. "We both know what has to come now."
Sam slowly sat up, face calm but heartbroken. "Yes," he said. "The goodbye." He stood up from the bed and fumbled after his clothes, back bent as if he was a very old man. Frodo watched him, not moving, feeling that his body was to heavy to carry.
"No, Sam. This is not goodbye," He said, voice shivering.
"Then what is it," Sam looked at him with dark eyes while buttoning his shirt.
"I don't know what it is," Frodo answered. "But my heart tells me that this is not the end. You said it your self, we're Soulmates."
And with Frodo's words to soothe the pain in his heart Sam kissed his master goodbye with tender lips. "I think so too," he said and ran his hand gently over Frodo's cheek before he turned around and left, eyes almost closed.
Frodo lay silent and let him go, believing this was the best for them both, and hoping the staggering pain in his heart would shrink with time. If only they were somewhere else! But they both had lived in Hobbiton all of their life and knew little of the world outside its borders other than what Bilbo had told them. And Frodo didn't have the heart to tear Sam away from the Shire he loved and adored so much. His roots grew deep into the soil of this country, and here he belonged.
And here we will stay, Frodo thought as he pulled the blanket over a face wet with tears and shut the daylight out of his heart.
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