The wind blows gently through the open window in the top-most chamber of the tower of Orthanc. My residence, my fortress. My prison ...
I'm held captive here against my will by thoughts of a time when there still was hope for this land. When the Istari acted and moved as one, without strife between them. Without distrust and hatred.
When I called him my love!
"Oh Olorin ... my Olorin, why did you have to be so stubborn? I didn't want you in pain. No! No ..."
Would he believe me? Now that he has seen my hunger for him, for this world? Now that he knows this side of me I hadn't thought possible to rest within myself? When the only way out is to join with the enemy, in hopes to rise against him later and make things right once more?
Why can't he see my logic? Why didn't he trust me any longer? Have I changed so much? No!
With a trick I have learned from old Radagast, I call one of those fragile creatures of the night to my hand. A moth. Hadn't it been one of these creatures that helped my love escape? Surely, it will serve me as it served him, and so I talk to this, my unlikely messenger.
"Fly, little moth! Find Gandalf and tell him ... how much I miss his touch and his caresses. His mind. Our union. Tell him of the old days, when we were one, he and I, and ...and..."
The little creature in my palm stirs its wings, and suddenly I am struck with a wave of futility and despair. Will he even listen to my message? Will Olorin ever listen to me again?
No. Of course not. I am a foolish old man, and all I have left are my memories and a promise of a better time which I will help shape. For me, for him. For what we have been. Together!
I close my eyes and tears run down my cheeks as my fingers close and squash the last hope I had. Forever to be silenced.
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Killing The Messenger by Master Yo Gurt
Story notes: Warning: Not betaed and short. All mistakes are mine.
My first surjourn into the realm of Tolkien slashdom. This was first posted as part of a RPG, but I thought others might like it. And since S/G stories are so far and few between ... Thank you Izzy for sharing and Tarn for being an inspiration!
Visit me: Stolen Moments(http://www.ravenswing.com/YoGurt)
