The Brandybucks spent the rest of the day preparing for the wedding of Isigo Pumble to Diantha Took. The young couple would sign the registry book that Merry kept in his study and be ready to perform the hand-fasting as soon as permission to do so was received from the Tooks at Long Cleeve. Everyone expressed surprise that such a sweet and timid young girl and nice young boy could be in such a fix, but some of the younger Brandybucks acknowledged that these things could happen even to nice boys and girls. Even more astounding than this hasty marriage, however, was Pippin's betrothal to that other, very peculiar, trouser-wearing Took girl.
At the first opportunity, Lady Esmeralda took Diantha aside and delicately questioned her. "Are you certain you wish to do this, my dear? I'm very fond of Pippin and think it would make his parents happy if he chose a wife, but I'm afraid he isn't what most girls would find a suitable husband. Up in the far north, you mightn't have heard the gossip about him and my son..."
"Oh, yes, I have, Aunt Esme," Diantha cheerfully assured her. "Pip told me all about himself and Master Merry ages ago."
"And you don't mind?"
"No. I don't want a husband or babies or anything like that, but Pip's my friend and he asked me as a special favor to get betrothed to him."
"But you're so very young," said Esmeralda. "You might change your mind about husbands and babies when you're a bit older. What if you fall in love and decide you wish to marry someone else in a few years?"
Diantha shook her head vigorously. "That won't happen! The only person I ever wanted to marry is getting married to someone else."
Lady Esmeralda thought she understood. While she continued to believe that these two young hobbits were making a mistake, she said no more about it.
Merry, meanwhile, was still fuming. After Pippin had managed to escape the threat of marriage to Diamond, it was unforgivable of him to betroth himself to the one girl Merry felt most threatened by. And without telling him first!
Pippin was apologetic as he tried to explain his betrothal to his friends. For reasons that Merry and Frodo didn't fully comprehend, he began by telling Sam, "It's not a joke or prank. We didn't do it for fun, or to make my mother angry. I don't care how anybody else feels about Diantha. I like her, and she's the only girl I could ask to do this for me."
"But why did you ask her?" demanded Merry.
"It seemed the best thing to do. Now that Diamond's going to be married, my parents will only try to match me up with somebody else, and I don't want to be matched with anybody. So I decided to put a stop to it. They'll make a fuss, but I'm old enough to choose my own wife. That's what I'll say to them. Di and I mightn't ever get around to getting married--it'll be the longest betrothal in Shire history--but as long as it goes on, they can't bother me about marrying any other girls."
"You might've warned me," Merry grumbled.
"I know I promised I wouldn't do anything like this unless you said it was all right, Merry. I meant to tell you before anybody heard, only Diantha got in first." Pippin gave his lover a pleading look. "Is it all right with you, Merry? You've no reason to be jealous--it isn't like that between Di and me at all. She isn't in love with me any more than I am with her. We're just friends, that's all, and it's all we'll ever be. Even if we do end up getting married, we won't really live like married people. We're both sure we don't want that sort of thing. So you can stop making a fuss about it."
"What about Faramir?" Sam asked him.
"Faramir?" Pippin repeated the name, bewildered, but Merry understood that Sam was not referring to the Steward of Gondor.
"The son you've always wanted to have, Pip."
"Oh." Pippin twiddled his fingers. "Well, I've given up on having a son of my own. It wouldn't be fair."
"To whom?" Merry wondered.
"To his mother, for one, whoever she might be," Pippin explained. "I couldn't get married just to have a baby. I know, girls want babies when they get married, but they want other things from a husband too. Most girls do, but Di doesn't. And, besides, there's Peveril. I think of him as my heir already, and I couldn't disappoint him now. If I want to have children around me, I have him and my other nephews and a niece now too. My sisters are bound to have plenty more. The Tooks won't die out because of Di and me."
Like his mother, Merry still had misgivings about this plan, but he reluctantly consented to let Pippin be betrothed under the condition that the marriage would never be consummated. Nevertheless, he was pleased to know that Diantha was returning to her home in the north very soon.
Since they could not delay, for Diamond's sake, Odonto and Diantha would start for the Long Cleeve in the morning immediately after first breakfast. Sam intended to ride with them as far as the crossroad to Oatbarton, but Frodo was going with them to see the North-Tooks.
"I promised Diamond I would help her," he told Sam that evening. They'd begun this investigation snuggled together in bed, and concluded it now in the same way. A light snow was falling on the round window above their heads, and the embers of a fire were glowing in the grate. Frodo had been given the same room he always had when he visited Brandy Hall, one that had a dressing room adjoining it containing a small bed that Sam didn't sleep in, but rumpled the sheets for the benefit of the housemaids. Since they'd been separated for the better part of a week, and would separate again soon, they were making the most of this one night. "It isn't how I planned to go about it, but I intend to do my best to make it palatable to them all the same. I can at least tell them that Isigo has the patronage of the Brandybucks, which will appeal to their snobbery. He'll be able to support a wife and baby. Even though Odonto still believes that Isigo hasn't behaved like a honest gentleman, he's come to accept that their marriage won't be a disaster."
"Well, he was never so hard on the lad as the rest o' the Tooks were."
"True," said Frodo. "I doubt the Tooks will ever like Isigo, but perhaps in time they'll be reconciled to the marriage if he does well and gives Diamond no cause to regret her choice. They'll have to give up any idea of matching her with Pippin in any case. At least, Diantha's father will be delighted about her news."
"Like it or not, they'll have to see Miss Diamond married no matter what," Sam answered as he nibbled the nape of Frodo's neck. "Mr. Odonto was hoping to put a stop to this before any mischief was done, but it seems to me as if those two got up to plenty o' mischief before they ever left Long Cleeve. Maybe that's why they flew off so suddenly, the way they did."
"Perhaps." Odonto had expressed the same thought, but Frodo had his doubts about it.
Before they left Brandy Hall with Diantha and Odonto the next morning, Frodo had a confidential word with Diamond alone.
"You're not really having a baby," he said to her as if it were a fact. "It was Pippin's idea, wasn't it? Oh, I don't mean he recommended you to tell such a lie, but when he told you how my cousin Angelica forced her parents to let her marry the boy she wanted, you thought you might do the same. Diantha knew about it, and she must've told Pippin or at least he guessed the truth just as I did. But you left poor Isigo out of your secret."
Diamond gaped at him in dismay. "How did you know?" she whispered.
"I saw Isigo's face when you announced your news. He was as astonished as everyone else. I can't believe either of you thought of such a plan before Pippin suggested it. And, my dear Diamond, if you'd taken Pippin's advice as soon as he spoken it, you couldn't possibly know you were having a baby yet. That wasn't even a week ago! Women don't generally know a baby's on the way for two or three months. Besides, you never had a chance to be alone with Isigo to do anything about it."
"We didn't," she admitted, her face bright red. "Even if we were alone, I couldn't ask Isigo to- Not 'til we're married. And he wouldn't. He wouldn't have wanted me to say I was having a baby, if he'd known before. But Mama and Papa don't know." She regarded him with an anxious look in her eyes. "You won't tell them, Frodo, will you?"
"No," Frodo assured her. He had fulfilled his obligations to the North-Tooks by finding their daughter, but he would not betray her. "I wish you'd left it to me," he said. "I might have managed it better."
Diamond shook her head. "You don't know Mama and Papa like I do. They'd never let me marry Isigo any other way. They hate him."
"They'll blame Isigo for this trick in any case. And you know that they'll realize the truth for themselves in a few months' time," Frodo pointed out.
"I know, but then it'll be too late," Diantha replied. "Isigo and I will be married with their consent, and they won't be able to take it back once it's done. That's all that matters. We'll be all right, Frodo. And maybe we'll have a baby for real on its way by then."
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