The silence was deafening. It seemed the entire hall was watching them from the small doorway. Words seemed to be at a loss to everyone involved and Eowyn could feel most if not all eyes on her. How could she have been so foolish to yell out her feelings here? They were all waiting for one of them to say or do something. Eowyn still looked at only Arwen, whose eyes were wondering back and forth between Aragorn and Eowyn. Aragorn was impossible to read, his features playing over different emotions all at once, his gaze staring off into the distance. Eowyn silently wondered if she should say something to break this awful tension...but what could she possibly say to correct this now?
Glancing around Eowyn could feel tears of panic forming in her eyes...what had she done? To her right Eomer stood staring at her with angry confused eyes. Quickly Eowyn turned away from her brothers accusing gaze. A sudden wave of dizziness caught her and she found herself unable to breathe. Eowyn looked at Arwen silently begging her to say something, but Arwen remained silent. Feeling her knees weaken Eowyn half fell to the ground only to feel Eomers arms instantly supporting her.
"Eowyn..." he said. Lowering her to the cool balcony floor. Eowyn sighed as she felt her mind finally falling into blissful sleep.
Eowyn snuggled into the soft sheets that surrounded her. When had she gone to sleep? She couldn't remember but it didn't matter though.
Because tis the lady I love!
…owyn's eyes snapped open and she bolted upwards in her bed. Breathing heavily she raised a hand to her chest...valor what had she done?
"Eowyn?" a voice from beside her spoke. Eowyn jumped and looked to her right, Eomer sat in the chair next to her bed.
"Eomer," she said, "What are you doing here?" she asked.
Eomer sighed and put his face in his hands. "We brought you here after you passed out last night."
Eowyn looked away for a moment. "Last night?" she asked glancing back at him.
He nodded, "Yes, on the balcony..." he seemed unwilling to say more on it. Eowyn turned away, but then something Eomer had said hit her hard.
"Last night!" her head snapped back, "Today's..." Eomer looked at her with sympathetic eyes and nodded.
"We're due at the Coronation in a few hours."
This was it then, she couldn't escape it. She was going to have to watch the women she loves marry another.
"No chance I can leave before then is there?"
He sighed and shook his head. Eowyn forced a smile, "I didn't think so."
There were a few moments of silence before Eomer broke it.
"Eowyn...about what you said..." Eowyn reached out and grabbed his arm silencing him.
"Please...don't"
Eomer sighed and covered her hand with his own against his arm.
"I'll explain I promise...just not now, wait till we get home okay?"
He watched her for a moment before agreeing. "As you wish," he squeezed her hand and than stood. "I'll leave you be, I'll come and collect you before the coronation." Eowyn forced a smile and nodded to her brother as he left the room.
Eowyn breathed in a sigh of relief and slowly managed to pull herself out of bed. Walking over to the wardrobe across from her bed she felt her knees weaken once more. She grabbed the edge on the wardrobe doors causing them to open and herself to fall backwards into the corner of the bed.
"Ow..." she said rubbing the spot on her back where the bed had dug into.
"Smooth Eowyn, real smooth..." she mumbled to herself.
Getting to her feet once more she held onto the doors of the wardrobe for support. Looking in she saw a beautiful light yellow gown. They must have made it for the coronation she thought.
It was truly elegant, even her headdress was there on top of gown; the crown that symbolized her status. She felt so out of place looking at it all, how could she be this woman they all expected her to be when she felt like she was dying inside? Pulling out the gown she draped the silken fabric over her body. It did feel wonderful against her skin. Striding over to the mirror Eowyn gasped at her reflection. Looking back at her was this strange woman. Dressed in an elegant gown that's colour emphasized her golden waves, her soft blue-green eyes looking sad and trapped.
A cage...this was a cage...and she was falling into it's trap. Tears formed in her eyes and with a great cry Eowyn struck the mirror with her fist. A mix of pain and pleasure overcame her as she felt the shards cut into her skin. Pulling away from the mirror she cradled her hurt hand in the other as the blood seeped through her fingers. Lying on the floor against her bed she chanced a look at it, there were no shards in the wound but it was deep.
Grabbing a piece of bedding Eowyn ripped a long strip and wrapped it around her hand securely, she couldn't risk getting blood on this new gown. Binding the wound with the cloth Eowyn looked up at the broken mirror. A few smaller shards lay scattered on the floor by her feet. The mirror had the smash mark of a fist imbedded in it, the web of glass not falling from it's home. Standing Eowyn looked at her reflection again, the broken shards causing her face to look distorted and pieced together. This was how she felt, broken, defeated. Silently she let a single tear fall down her face before angrily wiping it away.
She needed some air. Half running to the door Eowyn opened it and went into the cool hallway. Feeling like she could breathe again Eowyn started down the hall to her left. As she walked she realized that she knew this path. It was one of the halls Faramir had taken her down to reach his garden. Deciding on her plan Eowyn followed what she could remember of the halls to the door outside.
As she reached the final hallway the sound of small footfalls bolting down the hall towards her echoed throughout the walls. Quickly standing aside Eowyn watched as the young Pippin went right past her, not even glancing back.
"Pippin!" the call of Merry, not far behind sounded as well.
Clearly the Took had done something to upset his older cousin. Merry came around the corner and Eowyn expected him to pass right by as well but as he reached where she was standing he skidded to a stop.
"Lady..." He took a deep needed breath, "...Eowyn" he finished, panting for air.
"Merry," she greeted, an honest amused tone to her voice.
"Forgive me Eowyn but I have a cousin I must kill," Eowyn smiled and nodded to him to be on his way.
Merry turned and ran a few steps but stopped and ran back.
"Eowyn..." he said as he approached her again. She kneeled down to his level.
"Yes Merry?" she asked.
He looked like he was struggling with his words; finally he simply leaned over and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. "Please don't leave," he whispered. He then ran after Pippin down the hallway. Eowyn frowned and stood, how did he know what she'd been thinking? Shaking her head she turned and continued down the hall to the garden door.
Eowyn opened the door and immediately felt comforted as the suns rays warmed her soul. Closing the door behind her Eowyn picked a random path and fallowed it. There was still much of this beautiful garden she had not seen. The peaceful sounds of birds seemed to calm her as she walked throughout the flowers and trees.
The garden was on ground level so just over the high walls she could here the sounds of the wild. She missed the outdoors; even this garden was blocked off from the outside world. She truly had no escape from this prison her heart was building. Finding a small pond somewhere deep in the garden Eowyn seated herself on the soft green grass surrounding it. She lay down in the dewy grass and closed her eyes. She could feel the soft warm breeze and see the flickers on sunlight and shadows from the swaying tree branches. For once in the past weeks she really felt at peace. As usual that peace did not last, Eowyn's brow furrowed as she felt the sun's warm rays blocked. A cool shadow covered her and Eowyn sighed, who could have found her in here?
Opening her eyes Eowyn was gifted with the sight of Faramir standing above her.
"Good Afternoon Lady Eowyn," he said offering his hand.
Eowyn ignored his offer and stood herself.
"Good Afternoon Lord Faramir," she replied. Annoyed that her peace was interrupted and also embarrassed since this was his garden. She had no real right to be there. "Forgive me I was seeking solitude, and the outdoors."
Faramir held up his hand and shook his head. "Tis alright Lady Eowyn, you are more than welcome in my garden any time you wish."
She smiled at this and bowed a little. "I thank you," she said.
He smiled back and gestured for her to walk with him. The two were silent as Eowyn fell into step with him.
"I must say Lady I am quite surprised to see you out and about." He paused looking towards her, "after last night that is. I would have thought you'd be trying to leave the moment you awoke." Eowyn looked away.
Had there been anyone who had not heard her little outburst last night?
"I..." she tried to speak but found she did not know what to say.
Faramir stopped and turned to her causing her to halt as well.
"Tis alright Eowyn. I understand how you must feel."
Eowyn suddenly found herself very angry at that statement. How could he possibly know how she felt?
"Forgive me Faramir but I do not believe you have the slightest idea of how I feel; to love another who...Tis forbidden, unnatural. You know nothing of how I feel!"
Something flashed in his eyes and he forcibly grabbed her arms.
"Nothing? I know more than you can understand. I lost my brother! My best friend! And my lover all at once...but no I understand nothing of forbidden love. Nothing of loving another in secret." He lowered his voice, "I know how you feel better than even you may know," he let go of her arms and walked away a few paces.
There were a few moments of silence where Eowyn tried to take in what she had just heard.
"I'm sorry..." she almost whispered.
Perhaps she was not the only one with such pain after all. Faramir turned back to her and led her to a bench.
"No I'm sorry, I had no right t raise my voice at you as I did."
Eowyn shook her head, "You did, t'was my fault, I should not have made assumptions."
Faramir sighed and looked down at his hands. "I have not told a soul about that...we kept it secret...I only wish..." he turned to her but than shook his head and smiled, "Ah but it doesn't matter now does it?"
Leaning over he took her hands in his own. "If I were you, I wouldn't take no for an answer. Even if she can't see it herself she does love you. Don't give up on her." Eowyn stared into his eyes. Did he really mean that? She was marrying Aragorn in a mere hour...Eowyn sighed, what was she to do? Resisting the urge to cry she moved her hands away from Faramirs comforting ones. He frowned and grabbed her right hand blood soaking through the thin fabric covering the wound.
"Your hand..." she quickly jerked it away once more. "What happened to it?" Eowyn looked away and shook her head, not wanting to share this bit of information. He sighed, and looked back at her.
"I understand," he said.
It was only after a few moments of silence that he spoke again.
"Well I for one need to get ready for the Coronation. I see are already dressed, but some of us are not so prepared."
He gave her a soft smile and offered his hand to her as he stood. Eowyn looked questionably at it for a moment before accepting.
"I hope I will see you there," he said bowing.
Giving her one last look the young Stuart walked away through the garden to the door hidden amongst them.
Walking absent-mindedly through the corridors Eowyn let her thoughts travel over everything Arwen had said. She didn't love her... she loved Aragorn... "I love him"..."Where does your heart lay now?" ..."I wish to experience what my heart desires"...She walked on turning a corner. "Don't you dare be-little my feelings!"... A few people went past her, talking amongst themselves.
"I've given my promise. His fate is my fate, that is how it must be"...Another corner... "All emotions, weather good or ill, are for a reason."... "You should leave..."
Eowyn stopped dead in her tracks. Arwen loved her...she could feel it. She didn't need to say it; she'd said it with so much more, soft touches, and longing eyes. She couldn't let this happen...Maybe Arwen was afraid but she was not!
She would not watch the one she loved throw away her only chance at happiness. Arwen may think she was being strong by doing this but it was going to kill her in the end. And Eowyn was determined to make her realize that.
Looking up she realized she'd somehow made her way to the indoor access to the stables. A horse...yes. But she would need her sword first. Glancing around the surrounding hallways she figured she knew how to get back to her room.
And so she did will only a couple wrong turns. Bursting into her room, she half-jumped out of her skin to Eomer sitting on her bed.
"Eomer!" she said placing a hand on her chest. "Valor! What are you doing in here?" He was dressed in his finest and was not looked at all pleased with her.
"I told you I was coming to collect you for the Coronation, and of course what I find when I get here is an empty room and a broken mirror." He looked down at her hand, "You've hurt your hand," he said trying to grasp it.
Eowyn pulled her hand away, "It's alright, I'm sorry about the mess. I was upset. Please go up the Coronation, I will be there shortly." He looked at her doubtfully. "I swear...I will be there," She said leading him to the door. After a moment he nodded and left.
Eowyn bolted around her room, almost immediately she found her sword, ha! She had it back finally! Now the dress she was wearing she decided was much too fancy for what she had planned. Searching the wardrobe once again she found a simple green gown...that would have to do. She thought as she quickly changed. Grabbing her sword from the bed Eowyn left the room and started to fallow her path back to the stables.
The sword bobbed up and down in the sheath she had attached to her waist as she ran, she ran and ran and ran right into someone. Luckily before she fell that someone wrapped their arms around her waist to keep her from falling. Legolas let go of Eowyn and she staggered backwards slightly.
"You're in a hurry," he commented.
Eowyn sighed and moved to her left to go around him but he saw it coming and blocked her path. Annoyed she moved the opposite direction but once again she found him in her way. Groaning with frustration Eowyn pulled her sword from its sheath.
"Legolas I am not in the mood to play these games! Now I don't want to hurt you, but by the valor if you do not move I will get past you one way or another!"
A smiled played on Legolas's lips and bowed and stepped aside. Eowyn sheathed her sword and walked forward, as she passed him she distinctly heard him say, "You won't get through to her..."
Eowyn paused and turned back to the elf behind her. His usual happy looking eyes seemed sad. "I have to try" she said and continued down the hall. Eowyn breathed in a ragged breath and leaned into horses movements as the animal bounded up the outer levels of the city. She could hear clapping and cheers. Aragorn must have been crowned. Eowyn smiled slightly at that; least he'll have some happiness. There were few guards about the city as most were up top enjoying the celebration. She should be enjoying it to, they had won the war. She shook her head as the joyous cries got louder. She had too much to worry about to be up there happy with those people.
The horse bounded up another level, and Eowyn could hear the sounds die down and a single voice rise above them all. Aragorn was singing...beautiful petals fell around her as she reached the final level, but she had no time as to wonder at their creation.
She could Aragorn making his way down the courtyard, towards a party of elves...Legolas was in the lead...and then...Eowyn could see her, her dark waves tied in an extravagant headdress. A flowing lime dress graced her shoulders. She could see Aragorn moving towards her as the crowds parted for them to meet.
Eowyn pulled the horse to a stop and jumped from the great animal. Those around her gasped and attention seemed to focus on her. Eowyn couldn't hold back any longer.
"Arwen!" She yelled.
She saw Arwens back stiffen and was sure the false smile she'd no doubt been wearing had vanished. All eyes were now fixed upon her. That is all but one. Arwen's back remained still and Eowyn took a few steps towards her. The crowds parted for her, probably just curious how this would turn out. Eowyn was still a good twenty feet away from her by the time Arwen turned her body around. Eowyn gasped as their eyes locked. She only had one chance at this. Closing the distance between them Eowyn pulled out her sword and fell to her knees infront of her. Eowyn held her sword; blade pointed to the ground. Looking up she met the shocked confused eyes of her love.
"Arwen..." she swallowed, and forced her voice to come. "I knee before you now as a woman in desperation. I love you, and despite what you may say, despite all your hurtful words used to push me away, I know you love me too." Eowyn let a little smile trace her lips. "I finally figured it out, all this time you've been so scared, scared to let yourself be happy. You never wanted to hurt anyone and you think it'll be easier to push me away and live a lie. You thought maybe if you hurt me enough I'd stop loving you, I'd give up and leave you to your misery." Tears were streaming down Arwens face as she gazed in mixed horror as Eowyn spoke her deepest thoughts. "I can't do that, I never will. Not even if your choice today leads me away from this place."
Eowyn held back her own tears and put her sword down, and reached for the lady's hands. To her amazement Arwen did not pull away. "And so it comes to this. A choice. A choice you must make, how do you want to live your life?" Eowyn let go of one hand and undid the clasp of the necklace around her neck.
"The truth?" she asked placing the necklace in Arwens other hand.
"Or a lie?" she closed Arwen's hand around the cool metal and let go. Arwen opened her hand and looked at the jewel in her hand and then back at Eowyn. Eowyn's mind was whirling...this was her last shot; she would do what she must if it was not her chosen. But the panicky thought that Arwen would turn away from her made her weep inside and out. Eowyn sucked in a breath trying to calm the tears that were starting to fall. A shadow came over them but Eowyn did not break her gaze. She needed her to believe.
"Arwen?" The man's voice tried to break the spell.
Arwen slowly turned towards the man standing there, Aragorn. She looked into his eyes for moments before turning back to Eowyn.
Taking a deep breath she reached down and pulled Eowyn to her feet. The brief flash of hope that sparkled in Eowyn's eyes died the moment she looked straight into Arwens.
Poor Arwen...She's so torn... Eowyn thought as she looked into the elf's eyes. Arwen moved forward and embraced Eowyn. Eowyn felt herself sigh at the feel of Arwen's body against her own. Breathing in her scent of flowers and earth Eowyn held tighter, her hands stroking Arwens hair and back soothingly.
She'd made her choice and Eowyn knew it. She could feel the hot tears soaking the shoulder of her dress. Pulling away, Arwen reached for her hand and placed the necklace there once more. She smiled sadly as she closed …owyn's fingers around it.
"Ride shieldmaiden, "She said through her tears. "Ride as you've never ridden before,"
Hesitant for a moment Arwen moved forward and lightly brushed her lips against …owyn's before pulling away once more. The feather light touch sent shocks through Eowyn, and she yearned to not leave her.
"Don't look back," Arwen said backing away.
Eowyn kept eye contact, and she swore she could see Arwen screaming I love you through her eyes.
Breathing in her tears it took all of Eowyn's strength to turn away. Running and bounding onto her horse she kicked him into action. And Eowyn did just what she'd been asked. The wind blowing her hair she rode hard and didn't look back, feeling her heart shatter into millions of pieces and the great white city got farther and farther away.
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