Erm, I'm sorry if my review turns out to be inadequate, I haven't actually done one for a story on this website (I haven't yet found a story that I think is satisfactory enough). So, anyhow, I would like to first say that I think your story is fairly good. The plot is somewhat original and the characters that you have created are well portrayed, while the characters that already exist are being done justice.

I don't have an awful lot of concerns with the story, except perhaps the fact that some aspects of the story are rather forward, and could be written perhaps a little slower. 

Other than that, exceptional job, I look forward to reading more.