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Reviews For Candied Crush
Name: Reviewer (Anonymous) · Date: February 08, 2013 11:35 am · For: Chapter 1
This story was adorable! And the starburst idea absolutely hilarious! My only critique would be that you think about cutting down/breaking up the large blocks of text (making easier to read), and starting a new paragraph whenever there's a new speaker. For example,
"Viggo, I love you!" Orli exclaimed from the top of his lungs.
"And I love you," her replied, smiling gently.
"You better!"
Anyway, great writing! :)
This story was adorable! And the starburst idea absolutely hilarious! My only critique would be that you think about cutting down/breaking up the large blocks of text (making easier to read), and starting a new paragraph whenever there's a new speaker. For example,
"Viggo, I love you!" Orli exclaimed from the top of his lungs.
"And I love you," her replied, smiling gently.
"You better!"
Anyway, great writing! :)
