Time passed, as it does, and the day Erestor had been dreading arrived. Elrond's burial was going to take place today, followed by a memorial feast. The Hall of Fire had been decorated in Elrond's favourite colours and his favourite foods were going to be served. Erestor had not taken part in any of the preparations. It should have been his job, and if it had been for anyone else then Erestor would have arranged everything.
That morning Erestor struggled to wake. He had not had a nightmare that night but his exhausted body had refused to stay awake any longer. He was terrified of the dreams he'd had of Elrond calling for him to come back. They were so real, it almost felt as though Elrond was there with him. The ache in his heart upon waking only served to remind him that it wasn't real. Erestor stopped sleeping after that day in the study, refusing to have another dream. Eventually, the lack of food and sleep had been too much and last night he had awoken on the floor of the study. It had taken far too long to stand but his body no longer had the energy it needed to work properly. Somehow he had managed to make it back to his room and had collapsed, still fully clothed, on top of the bed and knew nothing until the next morning.
Erestor groaned as he shifted on the bed. His whole body ached. As he stretched out a sharp, stabbing pain shot through his abdomen and he curled up into a ball panting as the pain started to increase. Just as he thought it would cause him to pass out, it went. Slowly he began to uncurl.
"Erestor..." Came Elrond's whispered voice and at once he curled up again. "Melamin..." Erestor whimpered in reply and curled up tighter. He just wanted this to be over. He didn't want to hear Elrond's voice following him any longer. He didn't want to feel this way. He only wanted to be where Elrond was right now. "Erestor..." Why couldn't this voice leave him alone? He lay there, refusing to move and willing himself not to hear the voice again.
"Erestor! Can you hear me?" Erestor jumped at the unexpected sound. This voice was different. Cautiously, he lifted his head and looked to the door. There was a loud knock and he screwed up his eyes, hoping he wasn't asleep. No, he was sure he wasn't. He was never scared in his dreams. Obviously someone was trying to get in. But who was it? Had Elrond come to get him?
"Erestor!" Came the voice again. It definitely wasn't Elrond. "I'm coming in." Erestor's eyes flashed wide open and he breathing quickened.
"No, please leave me alone." He whispered. He wanted to raise his voice and call out to who ever was on the other side but he was terrified. The door knob turned and Erestor shifted to the other side of the bed, trembling. The door opened and a blond head poked through.
"Erestor?" Glorfindel's heart broke at the sight of his friend curled up, trembling on the edge of the bed. He slowly moved towards him. For some reason, his friend was terrified. "Erestor" he said gently as he sat on the bed, ignoring the whimper the form on the bed made. "It's Glorfindel meldir." Erestor's head shot up, his dark eyes, wide with confusion, meeting Glorfindel's concerned blue ones.
"Glorfindel?" He whispered shakily. "I thought...I..." he trailed off and looked away. Glorfindel could see Erestor was scared and confused so he knew to proceed gently.
"We need to get ready." He said softly. Erestor sat up and moved to the head of the bed and looked at Glorfindel, unsure as to what he wanted. He had calmed somewhat now. Glorfindel was never in his dreams so he was sure he was awake.
"Ready?" He asked.
"Aye, it's Elrond's memorial today."
"Today? But I've not arranged anything. I've not...not..." He trailed off again. He seemed to be having trouble thinking properly today and his head felt as though it was wrapped in wool. How could they be burying Elrond today? As he thought about it, he wasn't sure what day today was.
"Hush meldir." Soothed Glorfindel. "It is taken care of. Let's get you ready shall we?" Erestor just nodded blankly and after a moment's thought he slid off the bed and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He could hear Glorfindel go as if to follow him so he quickly began to wash. Listening, he could hear that Glorfindel had moved away from the door and was doing something else in his room. Splashing his face with cold water he looked up and gasped in horror when he saw someone had been in and replaced his mirror. Cringing, he took in his appearance. He looked awful and almost didn't recognise the image staring back at him. Movement behind him in the mirror caught his eye and he twisted round only to find himself alone in the bathroom. Abandoning his attempt at washing he went back into his room.
Glorfindel was still there and he had put a clean robe on his bed for him. Erestor shot him a grateful look and quickly got changed. He went to his dresser intending to comb his hair but Glorfindel had it and was picking out the hairs. Holding his hand out, he asked silently for it back. Glorfindel was jolted out of whatever reverie he had been in.
"Sit, I'll do it for you." He said. No one but Elrond had been allowed to tend to his hair! Erestor was about to argue but Glorfindel had the comb and obviously wasn't going to give it up. Sighing happily as Glorfindel got to work, Erestor relaxed. He'd loved it when Elrond had combed his hair then braided it. Glorfindel was a little rougher, but it was still pleasant. His eyes shot open when he felt Glorfindel's fingers shift in his hair. He would let him comb it but never braid it.
"What are you doing?" He asked, distressed.
"Braiding your hair." Glorfindel replied as he reached forwards to fasten off Erestor's braids with the clasp on the dresser. Erestor's hand reached out and grabbed it first. He turned and stood, wrenching the braids out of Glorfindel's grip.
"No don't' please." He begged, clutching the clasp to his heart. Glorfindel didn't understand, but then he realised the clasp was one Elrond had given to Erestor.
"I'm sorry meldir." He said. "Let me comb those out for you." Erestor shook his head, placed the clasp back onto the dresser and undid them himself. He paused for a moment then bowed his head.
"Let's got then."
The burial took place at sunset. A large group had congregated on the bank of the Bruinen to watch Elrond's departure. Heads bowed as he was placed into a boat and they watched as it was gently pushed off. The gathered Elves watched as the boat moved slowly, much slower than the current should have allowed, down to the sea. As the boat moved out of their sight the Elves turned and walked slowly back to Imladris, confident that the boat would reach the sea without damage or misfortune. Elrond was of Tuor's line, beloved of Ulmo, so it was only fitting that he had been given to the sea.
Elrond's burial had allowed most of the residents of Imladris to begin to heal. The twins had run after the boat, shouting goodbye and that they would find each other again in Valinor. It was now time for the feast where songs would be sung and speeches made.
Erestor made his way to the Hall of Fire. He could hear laughing and singing ahead of him. The point of the feast was to celebrate Elrond's life but Erestor didn't feel as though he would be able to laugh at all. He pushed open the doors and made his way to his usual seat, trying to ignore the glances and scattered whispers. He sighed as he sat, the walk had made him ache badly. The smells of the various foods made his stomach turn and he was sure he would have been sick if he had eaten anything this morning. It would be sometime before the food was served. He sat through a few of the songs celebrating Elrond's battles before switching off to the sound around him. The few people who tried to make conversation with him quickly gave up. Shortly after that the first course was served. No one said anything when Erestor stood and left.
Erestor slowly made his way back to his room, not even aware of where was walking. He felt utterly weary and his body ached even worse than before. He struggled to make his way back as his body wanted to collapse where he was. He was too tired to even be relieved that he had made it to his door. Opening it, he stumbled through and fell on it to push it shut. Dragging himself over to the bed, he collapsed on top of it and tried not to fall asleep and dream of ebony hair and grey eyes. His eyelids began to droop and he lost the battle as nothingness beckoned to him.
Erestor woke when he felt something soft touch his face. He was sat under a tree and it looked to be spring. There were flowers about and he could hear birdsong. Erestor smiled at the form in front of him. He knew this was a dream but he didn't care if it wasn't real, he didn't hurt here.
"I wish you wouldn't stay where you are." Said Elrond, stroking his face again.
"Why is that then?" He purred contentedly.
"I miss you."
"But I'm here with you now." Elrond said nothing but continued to stroke his cheek. He picked up one of Erestor's hands and held it against his cheek.
"Do you remember the day we found the hot springs?" Elrond began. "I fell in love with you that day." Erestor opened his eyes and looked at Elrond in shock. That day was centuries ago! Why was he having this dream? Was his mind creating it to stop him going completely mad? Elrond ignored Erestor's reaction. "You were so happy that day, it was infectious. You looked so beautiful and you didn't stop smiling and laughing all day. You made life look good again." Elrond broke off to laugh. "I wrote you a letter. I never gave it to you; it's still in my desk. I was too afraid you wouldn't return my feelings but you do. I was going to give it to you when we got back from the ride." Erestor could hear Elrond crying but he couldn't see any tears. "After I lost Gil-Galad, you were there. After I lost Celebrian, you were there. Now I'm afraid I'm going to lose you and there won't be anyone to pick me up and dust me off."
"Elrond? What's going on?"
"Erestor, please," it sounded as though he was sobbing. "Open your eyes."
"I don't understand. My eyes are open!" He cried.
"Erestor, please. Just wake up."
Erestor woke gasping for breath. That felt far too real. There was no way a dream could feel like that. He rolled onto his back and bought his hands to his face when he noticed something. His hand, the one Elrond had been holding in his dream, was wet. Erestor lifted his hand and stared at it before bringing it to his lips to taste the liquid. It was salty. He felt his face. It was dry. So where had the tears come from? Elrond had cried in his dream. Erestor froze. He could hardly dare hope. Had Elrond found a way to reach him? Surely that wasn't possible. Something else registered in his mind. There was a letter. Elrond in his dream had mentioned a letter. If Elrond was really speaking to him from Mandos, then there should be a letter in Elrond's desk. He quickly dressed and ran out of his room, not even bothering to comb his hair. He had to stop partway down the corridor to catch his breath; it was coming in short gasps now. He was getting dizzy and his vision was going hazy but he had to reach Elrond's desk. Leaning against a wall, he sank down onto the floor, unable to continue supporting himself. He found himself collapsed on the floor. He tried to push himself up but got to his knees before he felt himself falling again. His mind barely registered being caught in strong arms before his eyes rolled back and he lost consciousness.
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