Beneath the Willow Tree by Dhvana

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Story notes: I don't know why, but my mind seems to feel the need to produce death fics these days. I apologize to my readers and the characters--none of you deserve this. Please, let me know what you think!
Elladan turned, lifting his head as he breathed in deep the scent carried on the wind. It was a smell he had yearned to remember for centuries, and now that it was near, he felt as if he'd never forgotten it. He could feel him coming, had been able to for weeks now, ever since his beloved's heart had made the decision to return. It filled Elladan with joy and terrified him at the same time.

What would his love think? Would he even recognize him after all these years as a mortal?

Elladan chuckled as he glanced down at his body. His clothes hung loosely over the wrinkled limbs, his back slowly arching towards the ground, the tips of his pointed ears drooping ever so slightly. He couldn't even recognize himself, much less expect his beloved to. Ah well, there was nothing to be done now.

Using a staff for balance, and occasionally for support--though he'd never admit it--Elladan made his way through the ruins of Imladris. Most of the buildings were standing thanks to the ivy alone; the rest had given way to the shifting of time ages ago. The statues had long since crumbled to dust, the delicate moldings adorning the balconies and walkways were mere pebbles. As for the meeting place where the Council of Elrond had been held, the stone chairs upon which the members of the Fellowship had once sat were piles of rocks covered in moss. When he closed his eyes, Elladan could still see them all sitting there: Men, Dwarves, Elves, and a single Hobbit. He and his twin had hidden in the trees to watch the "secret" meeting while keeping an eye on the three Hobbits whose presence had miraculously gone unnoticed by the Council members. It had been a proud day for Middle Earth, as he and Elrohir had watched while the contentious races agreed to work together.

Elladan paused in front of one pile, thinking of the graceful figure it had seated. He could still remember the way his heart had contracted in fear when his beloved had jumped up and volunteered to help destroy the One Ring. An impossible task, he'd thought, and sure to end in death. Turned out it was possible after all.

Elladan opened his eyes and the noble figures faded from his sight, just as they had faded from the land. He gave a nod of love and respect to the rubble that had held his foster brother, and then he continued his journey through the ruins. Aragorn had passed from this world over a thousand years ago, but Elladan could still feel him, could sense the hesitant smile, the frown of the kingly brow. He almost felt as if Estel was waiting for him.

"Not much longer, my brothers."

Stumbling over cracks in the ground and detouring around fallen walls, Elladan finally made it to the archway from which the nine members of the races of Middle Earth had set off on that fateful quest. That memory, however, failed to have the power over him as another parting. It was from this archway that he had said farewell to his beloved forever.

A glimmer on the wall of the valley caught his eye, and he looked up. With a smile, he thanked the gods he had been able to keep his Elven sight. That shimmer of gold could have come directly from his past, from a memory he had tenaciously held onto throughout his many years. It was the last he ever thought he'd see of Legolas.




Aragorn's funeral had left a heaviness in the air, one they didn't think they would ever be rid of. Elladan sighed, wiping away yet another errant tear. He was beginning to wonder whether he would ever stop crying over the loss of his brother. Even Arwen had been more composed than he, until they left her behind in Lothlorien. Then she had allowed herself to weep openly, clinging to her brothers as they said their good-byes. In the end, it was her sorrow that had helped them to decide.

"You have to tell him," Elrohir said softly, and Elladan glanced at his twin, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I know. I will," he said as he returned his gaze to the golden figure making the last preparations for travel in the courtyard below. Though he would smile and laugh with everyone, Legolas's eyes betrayed the shadow on his heart. He had tried to hide it, but Estel's death had affected him greatly and Elladan knew he couldn't wait to escape Middle Earth.

"Elladan! Elrohir! Hurry up!" a gruff voice yelled at them as Gimli entered the courtyard.

"We'll be right down, Master Dwarf!" Elrohir called, then added softly to his brother, "I'll distract Gimli. Use this opportunity to tell him. There is no more time."

Elrohir's footsteps faded behind him and with a heavy heart, he followed his twin down the stairs. Taking a deep breath, he forced a smile as he neared where Legolas was kneeling.

The Prince of Mirkwood adjusted a final strap on the backpack, then rose to meet his love. As always, Legolas couldn't keep the joy from his eyes when he looked at Elladan and immediately wrapped his arms around the Elf's waist.

"Have you finished packing?" he asked, kissing the Prince of Rivendell. "We need to leave before the sun gets much higher. Despite being a Dwarf," he said, casting a wicked glance at their short companion, "Gimli hates traveling in the dark."

"Why is it that every time you open your mouth, Elf, nothing but lies spew forth?" the Dwarf said, and the two exchanged glares of camaraderie.

"Gimli," Elrohir called out from the opposite end of the courtyard as he dug through the Dwarf's things, "it seems to me that you've packed this bag incorrectly."

"What? You leave that alone! Elves and their sticky fingers," he muttered, storming over to Elrohir, who nodded at his brother. Mournfully, Elladan nodded back.

"Legolas, there's something I need to tell you," he said, disengaging himself from the archer's embrace.

Legolas frowned as he looked into Elladan's face. His love had been distracted of late, but he thought it had been due to Aragorn's funeral. Now, however, as Elladan refused to meet his eyes, the cold of fear touched his heart.

"Elladan, is something wrong?"

The Elf sighed, and taking a deep breath, forced the words past his throat. "There's no easy way to tell you this. I wish things could be different, that this wasn't even an option, but what's done is done, and cannot be reversed."

"Beloved, you're scaring me," Legolas said, reaching up to press his palm to Elladan's cheek. "Do not worry, just tell me what's wrong."

Closing his eyes, he leaned into the Prince's caress. The warmth from Legolas' hand seemed to fill his body and it was enough to break his heart. He wished he could say that his determination wavered in that moment, but despite his love for the golden Prince, it held strong.

Opening his eyes, he stepped back and looked directly at Legolas. "I'm not going with you."

The sapphire gaze darkened in confusion. "What?"

"Elrohir and I have decided to stay here in Middle Earth."

"No." Legolas shook his head, reaching for Elladan, but the Elf avoided his touch.

"I'm afraid it's true."

"You can't do this." His eyes flashed, his voice rising in anger. "What about us? What about our love? Does it mean nothing to you?"

"It means everything to me--you mean everything to me, but Legolas, you have to understand--my life is here, my family is here. This is where I belong."

"And what about when your family is dead and gone, what will you do then?"

"I will not live to see that day."

Legolas stared at Elladan for a moment as the meaning of his words slowly crept into his heart, and then he paled with the horror of his realization. "What are you saying?"

"Elrohir and I have decided to become mortal. We are mortal." The golden Prince looked away, turning the words over and over in his mind. "We are mortal." Mortal? Surely he hadn't... he couldn't have...not without...could he?

"You are mortal?" he whispered, and Elladan nodded. Legolas closed his eyes, trying to fight the pain threatening to crush him inside. "How could you? Elladan, how? Without even discussing it with me!"

"I knew you'd never--"

"Of course I wouldn't! Why would I willingly let part of my heart commit suicide? Take it back, Elladan. Renounce your mortality! Become immortal again!"

Elladan sighed, his shoulders slumping as he gazed at the golden Prince. "It doesn't work like that. My choice is made, and it cannot be undone. I'm dying, Legolas."

Legolas didn't even realize that the hand lashing out against the other Elf was his own until it connected with Elladan's face. He immediately regretted it and wanted nothing more than to take his beloved into his arms, but he held himself back. The two stared at each other in shock as the impressions of Legolas's fingers turned red on the pale cheek.

"I'm sorry," Elladan whispered. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"You've done more than hurt me--you've destroyed me!"

"Legolas--"

"Do you think my heart can survive this? You have doomed us both!"

"No! You have to go on! You have to live your life. I know you long for the sea and for the experiences that wait for you on the other side. Do not let me stop you. Go! Be with your family and friends, enjoy your freedom!"

"How can I?" he asked softly. "How can I go on without you? All those experiences, all that freedom--they were to be shared with you. Elladan..." Legolas started, but the very name caused his throat to clench and he turned away, tears falling from his eyes. He couldn't bare to look at his beloved a second longer.

Elladan pressed himself against the Prince's back, wrapping his arms around the narrow waist, resting his head on the strong shoulder. He could feel Legolas trembling with anger, with sorrow, and he loathed himself for causing him so much pain.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered. "Why did you wait till now?""I wanted to make it easier on you, on us both. If I told you any earlier, I was afraid you might not ever leave."

"Would that be such a bad thing?" he asked with a tremulous smile.

"Yes," Elladan replied, his voice grave. "I know the call of the sea is strong in you and I didn't want to spend every day wondering if it was our last. At least this way, I know."

"I hate you," the golden Prince said softly. "I hate you for doing this to me."

"If it was the other way around, I would hate you, too."

Legolas twisted in his arms to face him, the sapphire eyes brilliant with a thousand unnamed emotions. "Come with me, Elladan. Please. Mortal, immortal, it doesn't matter, as long as we're together."

Looking at that desolate face, Elladan felt himself tempted to say yes. They had suffered so much already, why add separation to the list? But he knew why, and shook his head. "I can't."

Legolas closed his eyes, taking several deep breaths as he tried to control the feelings raging inside of him. He was confused, so very confused. He didn't understand any of this. He only knew that he was about to the lose the one person in the world he had always felt he couldn't live without.

"I love you," Elladan said. "I always have, and I always will. Believe whatever else you have to, but never doubt my love for you."

Slowly, cautiously, he brushed his lips across Legolas's. When he wasn't rejected by the Prince, he pressed his mouth fully against his lover's and found his kiss was returned. They kissed with a passion born out of sorrow, of desperation, and with the knowledge that this was probably the last time they would ever kiss again. Finally, Legolas collapsed into sobs that made his entire body shake, and Elladan held him, his own tears flowing freely down his face. He wanted to remember this moment, the feel of his beloved in his arms, their kiss still lingering on his lips, and the pain in his heart that would remain with him till the end of his days.





Elladan sighed, watching as the golden figure slowly drew near. He had never once let his gaze falter from Legolas's departing from all those years ago, and now he refused to look away as he waited eagerly for his return. It had been so long, and old age had not been kind. The raven-hued mane he'd been so proud of was a steely gray. His arms that had once been capable of fending off a dozen Orcs could hardly draw an arrow. Even his legs had grown weary and were quivering with the effort of standing so long, but he refused to sit down. He would meet his beloved on his own two feet, he promised himself that much.

"So beautiful."

That was his first thought as Legolas walked towards him. "So young, and so beautiful. He hasn't changed at all. See how he smiles as he discovers me watching him, but I know the pain he must feel. I'm so old in his eternal eyes, old and faded. Nothing like the young and limber Elf who used to lie with him beneath the stars. How can he stand to look at me? How can I stand to look at him? It's almost too painful, seeing him in all his glory while I'm nearing the end of mine."

"Elladan," Legolas said, smiling gently as he stopped in front of the ancient Elf. "My love, I have missed you."

A shudder ran through Elladan's body at Legolas's words--words he never thought he'd hear again. He didn't object as Legolas took him in his arms, tears streaming down both their faces as they were made whole once more.

"I'm so sorry, my love," Legolas said, holding between his hands the face softened by age. "I tried to get here sooner, but so many things have changed since I left Middle Earth, it was easy to get distracted."

"It's all right. I knew you were coming, so I waited. Elrohir...he tried to hold on, he wanted to see you again, but his time had come. He passed two weeks ago."

Legolas's eyes darkened once more with sorrow. "Only two weeks? I should have come directly here."

"No," Elladan smiled, shaking his head. "He understands. I believe he gave up his last bit of strength so that I could stay for a little while longer."

"How...how much longer?" Legolas asked, knowing that no time would ever be enough.

"Soon, my love," Elladan said. "Very soon."

"Then we must be quick. There is so much I want to tell you, and so much I want to hear."

"There is much I wish to know as well. Come, I know the perfect place."

As Elladan turned and walked back through the archway, Legolas shuddered, releasing the tension he had been trying to hide. He knew his beloved would be changed by mortality, but for some reason, he had never expected Elladan to grow old. Legolas could hardly recognize the Elf he loved in the aged creature before him. His heart ached to see only the memory of a resemblance to the youthful Elf in this old man.

Elladan stumbled and Legolas instantly reached out to help steady his uncertain legs.

"None of that," Elladan said, shaking the hand from his arm. "I've survived this long without your help--I can survive a little longer."

"Elladan--"

"I know how I must seem to you, my eternally young lover. I repulse myself--I know I must repulse you. I don't know how you manage to keep from running away."

"Elladan!" Legolas grabbed hold of his arm, forcing the Elf to look at him. "I wasn't prepared for this, I admit it, but how you look doesn't change what I feel for you. I love you, and that love will last forever."

Leaning forward, Legolas kissed his beloved and at the touch of his lips, Elladan seemed to sigh against him.

"I never thought I'd feel your kiss again," he said, tears filling his eyes.

Legolas smiled, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "At your age, I'm surprised you even remember how to kiss."

Elladan's eyes flashed with amused indignation as he started walking again. "My dear boy, if you will recall, I was the one who taught you the proper way to use those lips of yours and, I must say, they could use a bit of practice."

"What did you expect?" the golden Prince replied, trying with little success to disguise the bitterness in his voice. "Their mate abandoned them and they've been lonely for a millennia."

"You haven't kissed anyone in a thousand years?" Elladan asked, unable to hide his surprise.

"You have?"

The ancient Elf immediately felt guilty, never once thinking his beloved would have remained faithful, remained celibate, for all that time. They loved each other, yes, but to deny themselves physical pleasure for so long--he'd never even considered it.

"Legolas... I... a thousand years is a long time, and you know me. I've always been a rather... active Elf and you..." Elladan stopped, his eyes narrowing as he realized the sound in his ears was that of Legolas's laughter. "You bastard son of an Orc. You have been with others!"

"Yes, but I never kissed them."

"Never?" he asked, his voice skeptical.

"Elladan, it was centuries before I could bring myself to be with another person, and even then, it didn't feel right. You're the one I was meant to be with, no one else."

At that moment, the Prince of Rivendell stopped walking and looked up. Legolas followed his gaze, travelling up the trunk of a magnificent weeping willow, the branches long, their tips brushing the ground.

"This isn't..." Legolas started, his voice filled with wonder.

"No," Elladan said, smiling gently at the willow. "Our tree gave way to old age many years ago. This is one of his ancestors. I've been tending to them, making sure our willow would always remain, in one form or another."

"It looks just the same as the one we planted."

"They all do. The trees have remembered everything. Now sit," Elladan said, easing himself to the ground his back against the weeping willow's trunk, "and tell me about my father and mother."

Legolas sat down next to him, hesitating only a moment before sliding his arms around Elladan's waist, resting his head on the frail chest. Elladan took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he relished the touch of his beloved. It had been so long, he smiled, kissing the top of the golden head as he returned the embrace.

"Your father and mother send you their love. They miss you terribly, you, Elrohir, Arwen. Though Elrond understands your decision, Celebrian was very disappointed. Losing the three of you helped to mend their relationship and, over time, they fell in love again. In fact, you now have two new siblings, a brother and a sister. Both of them are quite beautiful. Your brother has a lot of you in him, I'm afraid, but he is often tempered by a good heart. Not always, but often."

Elladan's eyes widened as he pictured the family he would never know. He and Elrohir and Arwen had always imagined, always hoped, that one day their parents would be reunited. Now that it had happened, he felt joy, but also sorrow. He had a brother and a sister he would never know, just as they would never know their three siblings who had chosen to die in Middle Earth.

"They're always eager for me to tell them stories about you," Legolas continued, "and for life across the sea. I must have repeated every story I know a dozen times, and still they're eager for more. Your brother especially-he has so much energy, so much spirit, he makes it impossible not to love him."

The Prince of Rivendell didn't have to hear any more to understand what Legolas wasn't telling him. "He's the one you were speaking of, isn't he? I can hear it in your voice. He's the one you've been with but will not kiss."

Legolas was quiet for a moment, then nodded. "I avoided him for as long as I could, the resemblance to you was too painful, but he was persistent in his pursuit, and having spent so much time alone and missing you, I finally gave in. I do not regret that it happened, but I am sorry that it happened."

"Why?" Elladan couldn't help asking.

Legolas lifted his head, looking directly into the velvet blue eyes. "Because I love you, and in loving you, his love never had a chance."

"You should not have to deny love because of me."

"It is not a matter of denial. It simply cannot be. My heart is yours."

"You are a fool, my love," Elladan said, smiling down at the Elf. "We both are. Now, what about Gimli? How did he enjoy spending the rest of his days amongst the Elves?"

As the hours passed, the two shared all their experiences through words, experiences they had been meant to share together. The sun rose and set, and was beginning to make its return to the world when they finally fell silent.

"It's happening, isn't it?" Legolas whispered, and Elladan nodded.

"It seems Middle Earth has seen its fill of me, and is ready to let me go."

The sapphire eyes were wide with fear and grief as Legolas gazed down on his fading lover. "What if I'm not ready?" he asked, taking Elladan into his arms as if by refusing to let go, he could prevent Elladan from leaving.

The ancient Elf sighed as the Prince's warmth helped ward off the approaching cold.

"We don't have a choice," he smiled, his eyelids growing heavy. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so tired.

"Don't do this to me, Elladan, not again!" Legolas pleaded. "You never give me enough time!"

"Why do you need more time? What more is there to do, to say?"

"I don't know," Legolas said, holding him close. "I don't know. Elladan, I'm afraid."

"Don't be, my love. I'm not, if that's any reassurance. I've been waiting for this for a long time."

"I haven't had that luxury," the golden Prince said softly. "I didn't expect...it's just too soon."

"At least we get to see one more sunrise together beneath our tree. I cannot even begin to count how many times we've woken up here."

Even Legolas had to smile at that. "It seems to me that we were already awake many of those mornings, and far too distracted to watch the sunrise."

Elladan chuckled, resting his head on the Prince's shoulder. "You would know. You were always the first one awake."

"And you were so difficult to wake. It was extremely frustrating having to think of creative ways to rouse you first thing in the morning."

"I always did love being woken up by you. Thank you, beloved, for coming. I know it can't have been easy for you to leave."

Legolas's eyes grew distant, his throat tightening with a pain he wanted to share with Elladan, but couldn't, not now. "It was more difficult than you know, but I'd do it again without hesitation if it meant I could be with you."

"And here you are," he smiled.

"Yes, here I am," the golden Prince said, returning his smile.

Elladan settled in against his beloved's body, his eyes on the valley surrounding them. It was so quiet now in Imladris. Even the waterfalls seemed to have moved on, many of them nothing more than a trickle through the green hills.

"I can feel the sun rising, but I thought it would be brighter," he murmured, blinking to try and keep his eyes open, but found himself losing the battle.

Legolas looked up and was nearly blinded by a sunbeam that was creeping over the edge of the valley. The wind blew the branches of the willow across the light, providing some relief for his eyes. He clutched Elladan to him, kissing the top of his head. "The sun is almost here, my love, and soon its light will find you."

"Doesn't matter... I don't need it," Elladan murmured, his voice growing faint, "so long as I have you."

"You will always have me. Rest now, beloved. I will be with you."

Elladan tried to nod, but found he didn't have the strength for it. Sighing, he closed his eyes and fell asleep to the sound of Legolas's heart beating.

The golden Prince could feel when the last breath of life abandoned him and began to weep. Holding the still form, he watched the sun rise over the ruins of Imladris. When the sun reached its peak in the sky, Legolas gently laid out the body of his love beneath the tree and began gathering stones from the fallen buildings around him. Beneath the ancestor of the willow that had been a symbol of their love, he used the stones to create a cairn for his beloved's remains.

When he was finished, the sun had nearly finished its journey across the sky, and he felt thoroughly exhausted. He was covered in sweat and dirt, and his hands were raw, the skin torn and bleeding. Slumping down next to the cairn, his back against the grave, he sighed, closing his eyes. As the sun began to sink behind the opposite side of the valley, he felt everything start to fade.

It hurt, so much more than he had thought it would.

"You didn't think it would be without consequences, did you?" he whispered to the ears that could no longer hear him. "My returning? Surely, you didn't think they would let me go that easily. I told you before you had doomed us both, that by becoming mortal, you had destroyed me, and you have. I couldn't leave you, I couldn't live without you, not forever. If anything, your brother was the one who convinced me of this. He didn't mean to--he said his heart was breaking when I left, but I had to come. I belong with you, no matter where you are."

Legolas gasped, clutching his stomach as a burning sensation ran through his insides. "They seem to be saving you the trouble of punishing me for my decision," he said, smiling grimly at the silent stones as he breathed through clenched teeth. "I don't think they wanted to give me up, either."

There was another stabbing pain, and he cried out, doubling over on the earth. "This is unfair!" he cried out to the sky. "Haven't I suffered enough!"

His only response was a pain more terrible than the first two combined. When the agony subsided, he grinned at the stars. "Do you worst--I don't care! When it's over, we'll be together, and it'll all have been worth it."

Taking him up on that challenge, Legolas arched his back backwards as a fire ran from his skull throughout his spine and down his legs to his toes. His mouth was open in a silent scream, unable to make a sound thought his torment. It was as if he was being forced to feel every year of the immortality he was sacrificing.

Panting, Legolas's body went limp as the flames dulled to a soft roar. His eyes searched through the branches of the willow trying to see the sky, but everything above him was a dark, wavering blur.

"Elladan," he whispered, his face damp with tears. "I love you."

With those words, the suffering ended. Legolas sighed, his body relaxing as it no longer had to wait for the next blow. A smile crossed his face, and though the light faded from his eyes, his expression was one of peace. Above him, the weeping willow trailed its leafy branches across the lovers in its own silent goodbye, knowing that without them, it too would pass from Middle Earth. Until its time came, the willow would watch over them, tending to them in exchange for the love--their love--that had given it life.
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