Harvester of Sorrow by Azzy

There's no need to argue anymore.
I gave all I could, but it left me so sore.
And the thing that makes me mad,
Is the one thing that I had,

I knew, I knew,
I'd lose you.
You'll always be special to me,
Special to me, to me.

Will I forget in time, ah,
You said I was on your mind?
There's no need to argue,
No need to argue anymore.
There's no need to argue anymore.

-- the cranberries – no need to argue


Elrohir sat at his brother's bedside, tears welling up in his eyes. "Oh Elladan," he whispered, gently brushing some greasy strands of hair from Elladan's face. If only he had known just how bad things were. He ran his fingers over his twin's sunken face; soup apparently wasn't doing him much good. "Oh, your freckles are gone," Elrohir stated, feeling his stomach twist in terror. Was he really dying? Was his brother really fading from life? "Elladan?" he whispered. "Elladan, can you hear me?"

A weak moan responded and Elladan's eyes fluttered open reluctantly. "Elrohir," he whispered, "you came."

"Of course I came," Elrohir exclaimed, feeling the tears intensify, running in streams down his cheeks. "Nothing could hold me away from you, not even father with a pitchfork," he said with a sad smile.

"El-Elrohir," Elladan just whispered, "I didn't think you would come."

"I already said I would," Elrohir said and raised a brow while reaching out to take hold of Elladan's hand. "Is there anything you need?"

"Oh Elrohir," Elladan croaked, "Ada said I get to sail a ship."

"A ship?" Elrohir said surprised, but then realised what it was Elladan was speaking about. "No one is sailing anywhere," he whispered softly. "I am home now, it's time to wake up, sleepyhead."

"But the ship?" Elladan said with a frown.

"No ship, Elladan," Elrohir said with a smile, "but we could go horseback riding. You would like that, wouldn't you?"

"Yes," Elladan whispered weakly, squeezing Elrohir's hand.

"Come now, it is time you got yourself a bath." Elrohir said.

"Elrohir, I didn't think you would come," Elladan slurred.

"But I already said I would... Elladan, you are making no sense," Elrohir said, annoyance creeping into his voice. "Wake up, princess, it's time for a bath."

"You came," Elladan said on the verge of sleep again. "You came."

"Yes, I came," Elrohir wanted to scream, but it only made it over a whisper. "I came home, Elladan."

"Yes," Elladan breathed.

"Wake up, Elladan, don't fall asleep." Elrohir shook Elladan, whose eyes fluttered open once more. "Wake up for me, please."

Elladan looked directly at Elrohir. "Stay with me?"

"Always," Elrohir vowed and kissed Elladan's forehead. "Should you ask it of me, I would never leave Rivendell again."

"Don't make more vows you will break," Elladan said with a frown, and managed to pull his hands back away from Elrohir's.

Elrohir looked away from his brother's hurt expression. "No," he just stated, "I won't."

"But you did," Elladan whispered. "You broke your promise to me."

"I know," Elrohir sighed feeling miserable, before he turned around and buried his brother in a hug on the bed. "Forgive me."

"Were you happy?" Elladan suddenly whispered.

Elrohir raised his head and looked at his twin. "What do you mean?"

"Tricking Dinalu like that?"

"I... I..." Elrohir whispered, feeling hot all over his body, and his heart racing in panic.

"He knows of our secret," Elladan whispered. "I told him."

"You?" Elrohir gasped. "But he said..." Elrohir's mind raced. "You told him? – Why?"

"Because you are mine," Elladan stated weakly.

"Don't," Elrohir whispered as Elladan's hand rested on Elrohir's chin, dragging him down towards his own. "Please don't."

"But I love you so much, I love you too much," Elladan whispered. "It is eating me up inside."

"Elladan, please stop," Elrohir begged as their lips met.

"Why? You were mine before you were his," Elladan whispered softly, kissing his brother's soft lips again.

"It was a MISTAKE!" Elrohir yelled and pushed away from Elladan with so much force he fell on the floor himself.

Elladan let out a sobbing sound and with much effort curled himself in a little ball on the bed. Elrohir quickly got up and curled himself around his brother. "Forgive me," he whispered trying with force to turn Elladan around. "I didn't mean that, I... I... y-you know I love you, Elladan."

"No you don't," Elladan mumbled.

"Yes I do," Elrohir admitted holding his brother even more tightly than before. "There is no one I love more."

"Yet you married that blond," Elladan hissed.

"I love him as well, Elladan; he is my husband," Elrohir whispered, knowing he would not want to hear this. "You are my brother, and I love you too".

"I wanted to be your husband," Elladan mumbled, entwining his fingers with Elrohir's. "By Eru, Elrohir, I did everything to make you love me."

"I'm sorry Elladan, forgive me," Elrohir mumbled. "I didn't know..." it was the best explanation he could give, for this. And he was sure Elladan thought the same as him.

"Why did you keep coming to my bed back then? If you did not care for me like a lover," Elladan mumbled.

"...I...I..." Elrohir whimpered, "do-don't know." For a moment an odd silence lingered in the room until Elrohir whispered, "I was confused, and I still am."

But no answer came. Elrohir popped up on an elbow and looked at his brother, but to his surprise he had fallen asleep. Elrohir turned him around to his back and caressed Elladan's cheek, brushing away the tears that had formed in the dark lashes. He bend over and kissed his brother's secretive smile and whispered, "I am sorry."




The next days Elrohir didn't leave his brothers side, but even slept in the same bed, until it got to the point where Elrond started to worry about his other son's sanity. But Elrohir seemed to cope all right.

Late one evening Elrond came into Elladan's chambers, finding Elrohir putting on a clean sheet for his brother. "Elrohir?" he said softly.

Elrohir turned his head but kept struggling with the sheet ."Ada, what brings you here?"

"You do," Elrond said and sat down at the far end of Elladan's bed. "You have not spoken with a soul for days, are you coping?"

Elrohir nodded "I have been thinking, Ada, nothing more." He looked down at his father with a sorrowful gaze. "You are right, his place is not here anymore."

Elrond locked gazes with his son. "And where does that leave you, my son?"

Elrohir dropped his composed facade and rushed to his father, kneeling on the floor, wrapping his arms around Elrond, and cried his heart out in the lush robes of his father. "Lost," he sobbed.

Elrond ran his hand over Elrohir's hair. "Me too," he said. "I know how you feel, maybe better than anyone."

Elrohir just cried and cried, until he had no more tears to shed. "Let me bring him," he mumbled. "Let me take my brother to the havens."

Elrond just nodded not trusting his voice for a moment. He knew the pain Elrohir must be feeling, remembering too well what it was like to lose a twin himself, although Elrond knew Elrohir had to be clinging to the hope of reuniting with Elladan in the undying lands, just as he himself hoped to.

"It is all my fault," Elrohir mumbled with a hiccup from crying. "I should never have left Rivendell, and because of my selfishness, Elladan did something very terrible." Elrohir started crying again. "All my fault!"

"Oh Elrohir, it is not your fault Elladan did this to himself," Elrond said.

Elrohir was just about to tell what he had discovered about Elladan and Legolas, but decided to keep it to himself, taking it to his grave if necessary. Their father needed not know this.

And so they sat, father and son, for hours, not a word spoken, but in silent understanding.




Mirkwood

Some time had passed, and in this time Legolas had felt his father watch him closer and closer, hovering over him until he knew every single move he made. And now he had been summoned to his father's court. Standing here, waiting for Thranduil to speak was absolutely nerve wracking. He had no idea what he had done, but something had displeased his father, for he looked as if he was trying to say something, and finally he called him up to sit next to him. Legolas went there quickly, not wanting to aggravate his father further.

"Legolas," Thranduil said softly, looking at his son. "Something has come to my ears, and I wish to know if it is the truth." Legolas nodded and Thranduil continued, "This man you brought with you here, are you.... ehm, involved with him?"

Legolas just looked at his father. "Involved?" he repeated.

"Uhm, yes," Thranduil said. How on earth should he phrase this one? "You take him to your bed, right?"

Legolas smiled a little mischievous smile. "Aye" he said nodding, looking up with and puzzled expression. Why on earth was his father asking him this?

"You do know he is the heir to the throne of Rohan, don't you?" Thranduil said, smiling understandingly at his confused son, who just nodded. "Then you understand that he cannot stay here, right?"

Legolas paled, not again. "No," he said, shaking his head. "I don't want to."

"Well, I'm sorry Legolas, I wish you nothing but happiness, but he is a mortal man, and he is the sole heir to his father's realm. He needs to go back and marry someone to be his queen... surely you understand that," Thranduil said, but the now stubborn look upon Legolas' face told him he didn't. "His bloodline will end there, that would be a terrible loss to his realm, and we might all risk open war." He looked sternly at his son. "You do not wish that, do you? War—"

"No," Legolas whispered, "but if he is going back, so am I."

"Oh Legolas, that man twisted your mind. You cannot continue to see him, it will come to no good."

"Nobody twisted anything!" Legolas suddenly yelled hotly. "I love him!"

"Even when he dies?" Thranduil said, knowing he delivered the death blow to his son, but still his hot-tempered little rascal needed to face reality. "Oh yes, he will die, but you will not. How will you carry on, my son? With nothing but a vague memory of the love you once had?"

"I care not," Legolas said, but judging from his pale face he did...this he had never considered. That Theodred one day would be old and feeble, whereas he would still look as he did today.

Thranduil looked at his shocked son. "Please my sweet, that your time and think about this, but heed my words."

"I will, father," Legolas replied in a barely audible whisper, before he silently left his father's court, determined to seek out his brother and have him talk sense into Thranduil.
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