The Gift of Iluvatar by Tam Breo

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Story notes: Warning: Hinted non-con het, perversion, interspecies lust, and pinching.

In answer to Amel Ravenwood's challenge that can be seen on the challenges page of LoM. Please forgive me! Feedback is always appreciated.
"Legolas, your ass is glowing!" Aragorn's low voice could only heard by the Elf's keen ears. Aragorn looked back at the rest of the company nervously, then quickly turned his head to see Gandalf up in front leading the way over the rough terrain. "Legolas, did you hear me?"

Legolas kept on walking, his lightly clad feet picking through scattered rocks and debris with elegant ease. He was used to such comments by now, although he had to admit 'glowing' was definitely a new one to add to the list. The stray thought that this was coming from the ranger made him turn to look at the man. He couldn't just ignore him after all. "Uhmh, thanks Aragorn." He gave the man a small smile and figured that would be enough to ward off any similar comments directed his way. Just in case, he pretended to scan the nearer clusters of trees they passed through for any signs of danger.

Aragorn, however, stared at the Elf as though he had suddenly gone mad. "No, Legolas, your ass is glowing. GLOW-ING." He exaggerated the enunciation of the last word so the Elf would get his point. Apparently he didn't.

"Aragorn, I appreciate it, but you have to concentrate on the quest. There could be any kind of roaming creatures of the enemy around. Think of the beautiful Arwen if you get lonely."

Aragorn slowed his steps and nearly slapped himself as he watched Legolas go and join Gandalf. His eyes traveled downward as he reminded himself to keep moving so as not to bar the way for the others behind--hoping that Legolas would not turn around--and stared at the Elf's rear. It was glowing, easily seen through his light silky green leggings. Even now he could hear the hobbits catching up to him, and something that sounded suspiciously like a stifled hobbit snort.

The wizard and Elf, in comparison, walked in silence. More than anyone else they understood the possible outcomes of this quest, and the string of events that would be triggered if they failed. This preyed mercilessly on the Elf's mind in particular.

Legolas was just about to open his mouth when Aragorn jogged up to them. "Legolas, I did not mean it like that." He felt somewhat ashamed. "But really," Aragorn lowered his voice, "it is more than glowing, it is shining. I didn't want to be the one to ask you this but why is your ass lighting up?"

Now, Legolas stared at him. "What are you talking about, Aragorn?" he demanded shortly. Gandalf was listening with interest.

"I am talking about as soon as the sun goes down anyone with half an eye could spot us, your arse is like a beacon! Why is it glowing?"

"It is not glowing, this is no time for games."

"Yes it is glowing, this is not a game."

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not."

"YES IT IS. Gandalf, please tell Legolas this is not a game." The old Istar found it difficult to hide a smile. He thought the effect the two of them brought about was quite amusing.

"Legolas..." Both man and Elf waited for his answer. "Your ass is glowing." Now Gandalf was chuckling.

Slowly and discreetly, even though everyone else in the fellowship noticed and just pretended not to, Aragorn and Legolas dropped behind, and waited a few minutes until the rest were far enough ahead to be lost to sight among the rocky hills.

"I told you it's glowing, look at it," the man pointed out.

"How am I supposed to look at my own ass?" Legolas retorted, somewhat annoyed.

"I don't know, turn your head."

Legolas gave him a VERY dirty look, and turned his head...all he saw was Aragorn standing next to him. He looked down...and down...and twisted so far around Aragorn wondered just how many Elves looked at their own asses, and just how often they practiced this. He was distracted from this thought when Legolas gasped.

"It IS glowing!"

Aragorn only nodded. Anything else would have sent him into either fits of laughter or another extreme.

"Well, how did this happen? Why suddenly now? More importantly, what am I going to do?" By now he was nearly in a hysterical frenzy, torn between twisting and turning to make sure the glow was still securely in place, and staring beseechingly at Aragorn.

Said Aragorn now pondered as he had rarely pondered before. He actually had no clue how this had happened. But...there was no point in telling the Elf that. "I think I might have seen something like this before," he said wisely, "Turn around and lower your pants."

At this Legolas was startled. "Why? What are you going to do?" He asked nervously.

Aragorn already had an answer ready. "If I cannot look at it Legolas, you can just walk around with it for the rest of your life. The Elf that I saved before was not as bad as this, it might even be too late for you. The least I can do for a friend is try to help him." His tone of voice was somehow nobly saddened. Aragorn thought he was very clever.

It only took a swift moment of thought on the Wood Elf's part before he gave a nod and agreed. Aragorn wouldn't tell anyone, he was sure. "All right..." He reluctantly turned around and began to unlace his leggings with slender fingers, and with another glance at the man lowered them slightly.

"I can't see anything like this, Legolas. Pull them down more." Now Aragorn was kneeling behind the Elf. Legolas lowered his pants about another inch.

"Legolas..."

The Elf finally dropped his pants, not missing the sudden intake of breath from his companion. When the man didn't say anything he grew more nervous. "Is it that bad? Can you do anything?"

Aragorn didn't answer. He was awed, even glowing bright blue, at the beauty before him. The Elf's skin, which was warm and silky smooth to the touch, looked almost too inviting. He concentrated on the task at hand. "Hmm..this looks pretty bad my friend."

Legolas fidgeted when he felt roughened fingers running across his bare bottom, then the whole palm of a hand laid against his skin. "Aragorn?" He definitely needed reasurrence right about now.

However the said person was busy taking in this sight before him, memorizing every inch by delicate inch. Offhandedly he said, "I will need a minute to think about this Legolas." And this was true, for he needed another excuse to touch the beautiful Elf. From the beginning he had no idea what ailed Legolas, but while he had the chance he might as well take it.

He watched regretfully as Legolas pulled up his leggings and tied them at the waist. Then he had an idea. Legolas noticed the change of expression as he gave a final tug on the cords. "What is it? You know what to do?" Legolas hoped it did not involve Aragorn touching him in the arse again. That was very...distracting, to say the least.

"I have just the thing, Legolas. It might not work, but it has a chance." Aragorn dropped his pack and started rummaging through it. He took out a bundle wrapped in green cloth and laid it on an even patch of ground, carefully untying the strings and taking the folds of cloth away. Even Aragorn could sense the strong smell coming from the package.

It opened to reveal various leaves, stems, roots, pieces of bark, pastes in small vials, and crushed up substances that Legolas couldn't hope to name. Aragorn looked over each in contemplative silence, thinking that Elrond had done a good job and it was sure to impress the others. Then he selected a blue tinted vial and pushed the rest to the side. "I must apply this directly, Legolas, I suggest you lie on your stomach." He dearly hoped the Elf would comply.

Truthfully Legolas inwardly thought Aragorn didn't know what he was doing by now, but he didn't really care. He would try anything before going back to the others like this. Legolas laid down and rolled over on his stomach, pulling his leggings down to his knees on the way. He propped his upper half up on his elbows, wincing at a sharp flake of stone pressing into his skin.

Legolas heard the large man coming up behind him, and without even asking, kneeled on either side of the Elf's legs. He told Legolas he would have to rub a good portion of the liquid in.

Aragorn poured some of the contents of the vial into his hand and rubbed them together. He smiled to himself. Even if it would not help the Elf...well he knew it had about zero percent chance of working. Ah well, he didn't really feel that guilty.

Taut muscles tensed even more when they felt Aragorn's hands again roaming across his backside. The human, however, was quite enjoying himself. No matter how strange it looked, it felt silky smooth as only the ass of Legolas could feel.

Aragorn continued to kneed the Elf's rear, applying more oil so it would look like he was concentrating.

Eventually the thought did occur to him that Aragorn was taking an awful long time rubbing his buttocks, but the ranger knew best. After a while Aragorn judged he was done for now and told Legolas he could get up. "But if it's not gone by tomorrow, I might have to repeat the procedure." +Oh+, though Aragorn. +Procedure, good word. I must remember that.+

Legolas nodded, then suddenly grasped Aragorn's oil covered hands. "Thank you Aragorn, you really are a good friend for doing this for me," said Legolas, sincerely grateful.

"It was nothing, Legolas," Aragorn replied, smiling.

They caught up to the fellowship, and talk died down when they were in hearing range, but not before Legolas caught the words "really is a nice ass, isn't it?" from what he thought was Merry, unless it was Pippin, because for his life and sharp ears Legolas couldn't tell the two apart.

Legolas hung around in the rear of the party as they continued. But by the time Pippin, who he had decided made the remark earlier, had to stop and 'fix something in his bag' but insisted he would catch up himself and the fellowship should not wait for him for the sixth time Legolas was not in a good mood. He glanced behind him, and, like the five previous times instead of 'fixing something in his bag' the perverted hobbit was goggling at his ass again.

When they made camp that night Legolas sat down immediately, and no one said anything to him even though all knew the slow pace did not tire him. Legolas glared at Boromir as he walked by, daring him to speak. But Boromir didn't quite dare, for he had seen Arwen before they set off from Rivendell when she couldn't find her second best bra--little did she know, Elrond was wearing it. Personally he was now afraid of Elves in general.

Aragorn came and sat next to Legolas. "Legolas, let's go away from here so I can examine you again. You might need a second treatment with a case as bad as yours," the man quietly suggested. Discreetly they walked deeper into the surrounding woods, and yet not so, because everyone had been watching Legolas anyway.

Aragorn was standing behind the Elf, and he was torn between disapointment that he had no good reason to see the Elf's ass again and elation that his doctoring had actually worked. He couldn't wait to tell Elrond.

"Is it normal?" asked Legolas, and he did that very strange twisting thing that made Aragorn wonder how often Elves studied their rear ends. He nodded, and Legolas let out a long sigh of relief. The glow, despite Aragorn's wishes, did not return until many traveling days later: not until, of course, it posed the most trouble it could.




It was dark. It was dark and it was dirty. Not the Elf's two favorite things.

The fellowship waited patiently since Gandalf after all was the only one who could get them out of this mess. They could always murder him after they got out of the mines. For that was where they were, and lost too, it seemed.

Legolas hissed yet again, and moved away, even his Elven grace failing to save him from a stumble. At first he had been blessedly safe from pinchings in the dark, but now if anything his glow had returned ten-fold, and no one mistook him for Gandalf or Boromir anymore. Suddenly Legolas paused. Speaking of such, why hadn't Aragorn ever complained of being pinched? He was about as tall as the Elf, and could be mistaken for Boromir or Gandalf or Legolas. Legolas guessed it was his ranger skills that kept him from the unknown pincher. Yes, that was it.

Suddenly Gandalf looked up and his staff lit. "Come, I have found the way." So the fellowship then followed him into the dark passage he had chosen. And, to the amusment of others, the Elf's ass did look like a small bouncing beacon in the darkness ahead of them, for they could not at al see the rest his outline. This revelation was followed by more rounds of hobbit sniggering.




The sun would be setting. Not yet, but soon. All of their fellowship, save one, stayed banded close together a long ways away from the exit of those dark mines: resting, and silent, and utterly at a loss as to what to do.

Aragorn found this the opportune moment to take him aside. "Legolas, your...glow has returned," he said. "I think it needs immediate treatment."

Legolas looked at him as if he, too, were insane. "Aragorn, orcs will soon be upon us. We must make the woods of Lothlorien." Now more than ever Legolas missed Gandalf, conveniently forgetting when the old man had insisted Legolas go up ahead to scout and was found gawking.

"Oh, er, of course." And Aragorn relayed the Elf's message to the company.

Finally, it seemed, they entered the woods, and before long the Galadhrim had found them. Haldir himself led them to Caras Galadhron, and Legolas was glad he was alowed to stay in the back, as he wasn't sure he was completely done glowing yet. Luckily either none of the other Elves noticed or commented.

They had been greeted by the Lord and Lady, and after recieving a very amused look from Galadriel, Legolas had been able to get some sleep. He brushed off Aragorn's attempts to help him, and happy he had such a good friend, Legolas slept.

The next day Galadriel sent Haldir in search of him.

"Haldir, why do you seek me out?" asked Legolas, as they went to see the Lady.

"She would like to speak with you, Legolas. She says it is most important." And so Legolas went to see the Lady Galadriel.

"Legolas," said she, and Galadriel stepped lightly toward him. She slowly circled him, and as she had thought, she was amused by what she saw. "I know what plagues you, Legolas. For I have seen it."

The prince's eyes widened. She had...seen it? "My lady..."

"Legolas, you have been given a gift. Listen carefully, I may be the only one who can tell you." Legolas listened nervously. How had she. . .seen it?

"Your gift was given by none other than Eru, Iluvatar the Creator. You, Legolas, are the only one who can save the fellowship. You will glow when evil is near, and when evil is near that is a warning." Legolas stared at her. His rear end could sense evil? And how exactly had she. . .seen it?

"But Legolas, there are some who would take advantage of this gift. . .and I warn you," her voice grew dangerous, reminding him of someone, who was it? "If I find out you ever had sex with that pitiful ignortant man called Aragorn and break my poor angel's heart(by this she meant her grandaughter) you will die a terrible, heartbreaking and most unpleasant death, and will be trapped in pain and agony for all eternity."

She smiled, rather like Arwen when she was finished with one of her Aragorn ravishings and was ready to be cuddled again. "Therefore Legolas," she began again with a voice as smooth as butter and sweet as an innocent bird's, "You must not let knowledge of this gift fall into the wrong hands, and I wish you luck on your quest." She pinched his ass, hard, and stalked off, reminding Legolas of a pleased stork.

He sighed. More problems.




Thus it was that another interval came where Legolas suffered from no glowing symptoms, and peace of a sorts was to be had. Of a sorts. For such small beings, those two younger hobbits certainly had a good memory for detail.

They camp early, and the sound of the falls of Rauros was not far off. Now the sun had set, and the giggling of the not so innocent hobbits was dying down. The Elf's glow had returned again. He briefly wondered if it was the hobbits' evil thoughts that were setting it off, and shivered.

When his watch was finally over, and the company was asleep he woke Aragorn for the next shift of the night. Then, ignoring the man's offers he went out into the woods alone. He was still haunted by Galadriel's private parting words.

Legolas Greenleaf long underneath, In lust thou hast lived. Beware of her teeth! If she hearest the cry of her love from your door, Thy eyes shall then rest in thy sockets no more.

He could at least guess what her words may have meant. But the thought of Arwen clawing out his eyes was not a pleasant one, and he turned from the gruesome mental image. He walked though the woods, alert for any sight or sound. Suddenly he heard a rustling to his left. If only he had known it, his behind attracted enemies like moths to a flame.

Shagged-rat cuffed the other orc on the head. "Shut up!" he hissed, and readied his wood short bow. Butterbum quieted his grumbling. "It's an Elf!" Both stopped their bickering immediately and watched the dim figure striding by. Shagged-rat took careful aim without second thought, as this would most likely be too much of an effort anyway. The Elf was almost upon them, closer, closer, and then he shot. Immediately a stiffled cry came from the Elf, and he fell behind thick growing leafy foliage. The glowing blue light went out.

And so ended the precious gift of Iluvatar.

Shagged-rat giggled. "How about some meats, Snuffles?" He examined his kill.

"I told you, don't call me that!" said Snufflebum. He looked at the fallen Elf. He poked it's hand with a dark, clawed finger. It twitched. "It's still alive!" he exlaimed. He looked over at Shagged-rat just in time to see a swiftly descending sword blade cleave off his inspecting head. With a strangled squeal Snufflebum ran off into the woods, never to be seen again even in nightmares. Aragorn kneeled next to the pitifully still body of Legolas, son of Thranduil, prince of his people.

"Legolas, Legolas!" he called softly. He really had loved the Elf, in a lustful brotherly sort of way. Legolas opened his eyes. "Legolas!" he said, and Legolas smiled at him, weakly. "Legolas, I never told you, but I just came so close to losing you and..." Aragorn sniffed. "Will you have sex with me?" he asked hopefully.

Legolas' eyes widened, and he was just about to give his answer when the bright, flashing images of long painted sharp claws flying towards his face shocked him to the core, and his eyes fluttered shut, all awareness leaving him. So ended the gift of Iluvatar for a second time. Aragorn gently laid the Elf down on the cool carpet of leaves and loam, and was thinking about shedding a few tears for the fallen, but then he remembered Haldir was just as good and would most likely have him if he begged.

So he grew happy again, and went back to the fellowship to take his watch, and amused himself with mental pictures of Haldir the Marchwarden tied naked to his bed. He wondered what he would say in the morning.
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