I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
but who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do...
--"Taking over me", Evanescence
"It is with great sadness that we see you leave, o fellowship." The voice of Galadriel was sad and dark. "Tomorrow you will join us at the main flet of Caras Galadhon and then you will go on with your journey." She looked at her husband, king of Lothlórien, and her voice began to brake. "some, perhaps all of you, will not make it out of this adventure, but may the Valar guide you to your goal and back again". With that, she dismissed the fellowship.
It was then that she saw something strange. The marchwarden of Lórien, Haldir, had not left the royal flet. His head was low, and his eyes, closed. The lady approached him and lifted his head.
It was then that she saw Haldir's eyes were full of tears.
"Whatever is the matter, Haldir?" she whispered kindly to the soldier as she dried his tears. "What makes you grieve so much?"
Haldir didn't need to say anything. The lady Galadriel looked through him, and saw what the trouble was.
Legolas smiled as he saw the hobbits sing. His heart was heavy, but he hid his feelings. He didn't want anyone to worry about him, particularly the humans. Boromir was watching him, and so was Aragorn. He could bear it no more.
"I need some quiet place to think" he whispered, then stood up. Aragorn also did, and approached the prince. "Are you alright, Legolas?" he asked.
"I'm fine, I! just need some peace, that's all!" The prince was in no mood to argue, so he simply left the camp and went into the trees.
He relaxed as he walked through the trees and looked at the animals. However, there was still something missing. Legolas lacked company. But not any company, he needed someone in particular. A man he held very dear to his heart. Perhaps too dear!
The prince sighed as he sat on a rock, thinking of the journey ahead, but, more importantly, of what he would leave behind.
The marchwarden of Lórien walked among the trees, thinking of what the queen had told him.
"You love him, and he loves you back. Go to him now, for then it will be too late." Those had been the words of the lady. Haldir didn't understand what she meant until he remembered the fact that Galadriel could read minds.
Haldir was so distracted he didn't see the figure in front of him until they were only a few feet apart.
"Who's there?" a melodic voice reached the ears of the marchwarden. He recognized it at once. "It is I, My prince" he answered. "Haldir" It was not a question. "What are you doing!Where!You should be on duty!" the prince was clearly confused, it seemed. Haldir smiled from his shelter among the trees.
Legolas' heart filled with joy at the sound of Haldir's voice. "Well, I thought I'd rather come by and!hang out with you". Legolas smiled at the answer given. He followed the voice into the trees, his voice raw with anticipation.
"I see" he said. Haldir answered with a faint laugh and approached Legolas. They were only inches away now. "I saw you today at the flet," said Legolas. "You looked sad!"
Haldir smiled at this. Legolas was so young still, so innocent. "Yes, I was sad indeed." Haldir said as he caressed the prince's features. "I don't want you to leave!"
"Oh." Legolas smiled and then gasped as Haldir's talented fingers brushed past his lips. "But!we both know I must go, Haldir!the fellowship!"
Haldir felt tears at the back of his eyes. He continued to caress Legolas' face and take in every move the prince made. He saw that the prince also bared a tinge of sadness.
"You looked sad as well, Greenleaf." He said in mock worry. Legolas could but smile at him and answer with a silent "I was sad!I still am sad." He got closer to the marchwarden, silently encouraging his caresses.
"I have missed you very much, Galadrim. In my dreams I see you, every night I crave for your touch, but!" Legolas' eyes were soaked in tears, as was his voice. "You are not there. I have only the company of four foolish hobbits, an old wizard and two lustful humans."
Haldir looked at his mate with worried eyes. "If you hate that life so much, stay. Come with me, Legolas my dear. We can set off to a new land!" he said excitedly. "We'll run far away! We will be happy! Come on, Legolas!just stay with me."
The prince sobbed silently. "You make it look so easy!" he was cut off by a kiss that made him sob. When the kiss ended, Legolas continued to cry silently.
Haldir kissed the prince's cheek, wiping his tears and embracing him. Then he too burst into tears, unable to contain himself.
They sat there for hours, crying and whispering words of love and assurance, even though they both knew nothing would be better by saying anything.
At last, dawn crept through the thick leaves of the Mallorn trees and Legolas got up silently.
"I must head back" he heard himself say. "Fellowship! Waiting! Think I'm lost" he walked lazily back to the flet where he was supposed to be sleeping, a sigh escaping his porcelain lips.
The marchwarden of Lórien was left alone. He hastily stood up and caught the young prince of Mirkwood before he was too far.
"Please!" he whispered in the prince's pointed ear, "Just!stay! For a while!"then, the marchwarden started sobbing. Legolas looked at him in disbelief, shocked at the emotions of his friend. "Valar, I! Haldir, my friend, I!" he stopped to gently kiss the Lórien elf's brow. "I have to go, Mellon-nin! we both know that, now, don't we?"
Haldir nodded silently, understanding. The man he was in love with was a prince, and he hah a reputation to take care of. He nodded again and looked at Legolas. "I know. I love you, Legolas! but I know you are a prince and! you must go!"
The day passed quickly and the fellowship of the Ring stood before Galadriel for her final assurance and guidance. "And, for the last time, we bid you spend a night more and have your leave tomorrow." The fellowship nodded their agreement and left. All but Legolas, who stood there, rooted to the spot, apparently lost in thought. Galadriel approached him and smiled. Legolas was having an amazing mental fight inside of him.
The next day, the nine companions stood before nine of the Lórien border guards, who dressed them up in a beautiful cloak. Legolas was in the middle, and he smiled as Haldir took extra care in fastening his cloak. After everyone was ready, Haldir held Legolas back.
"I want you to have this" he said, ripping a bracelet off his wrist and handing it to Legolas. The prince looked at the jewel, amazed, tears prickling at the back of his eyes. The bracelet was made of Mithril, the precious dwarven silver, and had small filigrees crafted on it.
Legolas looked up and gently brushed his lips against Haldir's, the tears finally springing free. Haldir caressed his face and smiled, then whispered a faint "come back to me in the end" and stepping away.
As they got closer to the falls of Rauros, Legolas couldn't help but sigh, silently wondering if he would ever see the man he loved again!
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Farewell to Lórien by Durins Bane
Story notes: Followed by Forsaking Everything For Love.
Chapter end notes: The end or TBC?
