Pushed or Pulled? by Kathryn Ramage

Beneath the willow trees that ran along the eastern bank of the Brandywine was a stretch of shallow water, not more than waist-deep on a grown hobbit, where generations of Brandybuck children had learned to swim. Here, they were safely out of the stronger mid-stream currents, and a long shelf of silt formed a sort of beach.

Although a short walk across the lawn of Brandy Hall would reach the nearest front door, a picnic lunch had been packed for the party, carried out in willow-bark baskets, and laid out on old blankets beneath the shade of the willows. Since the day was hot, most of the party-goers chose to go swimming right away. After their swim, they would enjoy cold roast chicken, hard-boiled eggs, fresh bread and cheese, and the first grapes of the season, brought up from southern Buckland.

The young Brandybucks were accustomed to swim naked, but since today's party was one of mixed sexes and ages, they kept their small-clothes on. Merry and Marly took Celie's sons and Aderic up to take turns jumping off the boathouse pier into a slightly deeper pool out of the river's current. The little boys were already respectable swimmers, although Aderic had to hold his nose when he dove. Elanor, who had forgotten her tears from the night before, watched them with envy and clamored to jump into the water too. Frodo told her she could as soon as she was able to swim, and then he and Melly set about teaching her. Little Frodo also regarded the older children's activities with wide-eyed wonder, but contented himself with sitting about a foot from the shore in water up to his waist, splashing happily. The twins, who were just gaining their feet, ventured tentatively to the edge of the water where their elder siblings appeared to be having so much fun, but didn't dare to do more than get their toes wet.

Sam, still fully dressed, sat beneath one of the willows with Celie and her baby. From this position, he could keep an eye on his children and quickly rise to retrieve either twin if they looked in danger of losing their balance. He had some difficulty in responding to Elanor's repeated cry of "Watch me, Daddy!" He'd seen his daughter and Frodo in their smalls many times before--although never at the same time--but the additional sight of Melilot Took in her wet camisole and pantalets rolled up above dimpled knees was too much for him.

When the older ladies came out-of-doors, bringing supplementary nourishment in the form of freshly baked pie and the household's own special strawberry wine, Sam's sense of modesty was in for another shock. Hilda took charge of her infant granddaughter, and Celie gave in to her sons' pleas of "Come join us, Mamma!" In an instant, she had stripped off her skirt, bodice, and blouse, and plunged into the water. Only the reassurances of the elder ladies that they weren't going to swim too saved him from further embarrassment.

"I never like going near the water," Hilda told him, "My husband used to take me out in the boats when we first married, but I was always terrified that we might tip over. And after poor Frodo's parents..." She regarded her nephew, who was at the moment laughing and encouraging Elanor to paddle as hard as she could to stay afloat.

"I don't believe any of us felt the same about the river after that night," Melisaunte agreed. "I certainly can't look upon it without remembering how many members of the family we've lost to it." Hilda patted her arm comfortingly; Melisaunte wasn't thinking of Primula and Drogo alone, but also of her elder daughter, Mentha.

"I hadn't thought about the accident in years," said Esmeralda. "Not until Frodo found-" While the two other ladies were talking quietly together, she glanced at Sam and asked him softly, "You know all about that, don't you? What Frodo found?"

"Yes, m'lady," Sam answered.

"But I can see you don't like his looking into the past any more than Merry does."

"No, m'lady." Whatever he might feel about Frodo's pursuit of the truth behind his parents' deaths, this was all Sam was willing to say to anyone else. More would be disloyal.

Esmeralda smiled. "I'm not sure that I agree. I think- Why, what is it, my dear?"

Little Rosemary had wobbled up to Esmeralda and held out one tiny hand. When Esmeralda held out her own hand, a small, damp rock plucked from the water's edge was dropped into her palm. Once this gift was graciously accepted, the little girl toddled back to fetch another one.

Frodo left Elanor in Melly's care and came up out of the water. Pausing to pick up one of the old bath-towels piled in a stack on the grass and wrap it around his shoulders, he sat on the edge of the blanket near Sam's feet.

"Nellie's swimming lessons are coming along very nicely," he reported as he dried the dripping ends of his hair. "With a little more practice, we'll have her ready to go jumping off the pier before the end of the summer. You might go in yourself, Sam."

"Not off that pier!" Sam protested.

"No, but why don't you go wading before lunch? The water's lovely, and not deep at all where Melly and Nel are."

"It's good to see you out in the sunshine, Frodo," said Hilda. "You oughtn't spend all day reading when it's so pleasant out-of-doors. Interest in one's family is all very well, but a stuffy old storage-room is hardly the proper place for a summer holiday!"

"Yes, I know, Auntie, but this is my one opportunity. My parents' history isn't a curiosity I can indulge in in Hobbiton." While his Aunt Dora and Great-Uncle Falco might be able to tell him something about his mother's first meeting with Drogo Baggins, Frodo was now in pursuit of more personal information than they could provide. "I'm finding some interesting things among their possessions--that book of nursery rhymes, and some of my mother's other poems." This much, he thought, was safe to tell the aunties. "Reading her journals, I know what she did years before I was born, and I can glimpse what sort of person she was. It makes me wish that I'd known her better." If he'd ever known Primula as more than a vague childhood memory, he might now be able to judge her character and fill in the elusive thoughts behind her reserved style of writing. And more than that: as he searched her life, he began to be intrigued by her. Regardless of what she had or hadn't done, he felt that she would've been a worthwhile person to know.

Esmeralda gave him a sharp and curious look and was about to ask a question, when Sam shouted, "Hoy! Pippin Gamgee, you behave yourself!"

Pip, like his twin sister, had been picking up small rocks from the water's edge and was unsteadily poised with an upraised arm to throw one at his unsuspecting brother. At Sam's shout, Pip flung the rock anyway, but lost his balance in doing so and tumbled backwards onto the grass; the rock fell short of its target and little Frodo twisted around to see what the fuss was about just as his father scooped his baby brother up.

"I'm afraid you've brought that on yourself, Mr. Gamgee," Hilda called out to him playfully. "Naming a child after Pippin Took is only asking for trouble. I daresay Pippin encourages them all to be as naughty as possible."

"That he does, ma'am," Sam agreed. Since he was at the river's edge, he took Frodo's advice and stepped ankle-deep into the water, to the delight of the little boy in his arms.

"He's just as bad with our grandchildren," said Melisaunte. "It's a relief to have him away for awhile. There's so much less mischief in the nursery."

"Pippin ought to have children of his own to spoil," said Esmeralda.

"It's odd that he seems to have given up on it just when he's betrothed himself to that peculiar North-Took girl," said Hilda. "Most young hobbits are thinking most of having children at precisely that point."

Sam had by this time waded out to stand with the water washing around his calves. Little Frodo was clamoring to be picked up too, and Elanor had stopped her efforts at dog-paddling to come and tell her father what a good swimmer she was already. Melly went with her; Sam seemed more comfortable conversing face-to-face with a lady in wet underclothes than viewing her from a distance.

The group on the pier came in one by one and descended upon the picnic baskets with the voracious eagerness of hungry young hobbits who hadn't had a bite to eat in over three hours. Melisaunte and Hilda rose to join them, leaving Celie's baby in Esmeralda's care. For the moment, she and Frodo were sitting by themselves.

"Have you found anything else, Frodo?" his aunt asked him. "You haven't told me."

"I can't," Frodo answered apologetically. "I said I would when I began to search, but there's little that's clear and, besides, Merry's asked me not to. He saw how much that letter I found upset you. I'm not to ask questions or tell anyone else about it."

"Yes, he said something like that to me as well. Merry means well," Merry's mother conceded. "He takes the duty of a Master to protect the inhabitants of the Hall very seriously--his father would be pleased. But since I read that strange letter of Primula's, it's been on my mind. What could she say to shock me? I've no idea, but I've imagined some terribly unpleasant things."

Frodo confessed that he too had been having awful, but as yet unproven, thoughts. The party around the picnic baskets was now spreading out to sit down on the many blankets spread under the willows to enjoy their lunch. Sam and Melly brought the Gamgee children up out of the water.

With an eye on Merry, since he doubted his cousin would approve, Frodo said, "There's one thing you might do to help me, Aunt Esme."

"Yes, dear, what is it?"

"Mother's last journal--the one she was writing in the year she and my father drowned. It's not with the others. I've looked through all the other boxes and can't find it. Do you know what happened to it?"

Esmeralda shook her head. After Celie had retrieved her baby, Esmeralda rose to get her own lunch. Frodo served himself some bread and grapes and a glass of the strawberry wine before he sat down again with Sam to eat. The party continued merrily for some time and most went back into the river for another swim after their meal. It was then that the lady returned to tell Frodo, "It might be at the cottage."

"Which cottage?" Frodo recalled that his mother had occasionally mentioned staying at one of the cottages along the lane. "Not the one Sam and I are in?"

"Oh, no, Frodo. The one across from it."

"The abandoned one?"

"That's right. They spent their honeymoon there, you know, but went back to it now and again when they wanted to be away from the crowds and the noise at the Hall. Drogo liked to sleep there during the summer nights. We brought all their belongings out soon after they died--it's all stored at the Hall now--but something small like a journal might easily have been overlooked and left behind."
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