One to Grow On by Brigantine

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Story notes: I was trying for a Halloween fic, but it just wouldn't happen. So we get birthday fluff, instead. Ah, well. And once again, we blame green_grrl. Bad influence, that one.
Chapter notes: Disclaimer: Viggo does have birthdays, human that he is. Otherwise, it's just a lot of fibbery on my part.
From where he lurks at the kitchen table Sean hears the front door open.

Viggo yodels, "Honey, I'm ho-ome! Hey, where are you?"

"In the kitchen, Vig." Sean stifles a chuckle.

Maria swallows her coffee and shouts out, "Hi Viggo!"

He whoops happily as he makes his way through the entry hall into the lounge, "Maria? When the hell did you get here?"

"This morning." She grins at Sean. "Happy birthday, Viggo!"

Viggo sets down his package — a fresh journal which he has bought for his son — and throws his jacket over the back of Sean's sofa. He's doing a self-satisfied little jig toward the kitchen while singing out an unfortunate version of an old Rick James tune, "... I'm a very sexy guy — the kind you take to the Inquisition. Um... something something, I've got a very big... hat — I'm Super Freaky... "

And then it happens. Maria cringes at the sounds of flailing bodies.

"Ack! — the fuck?? Ack! Orlando!?"

There is giggling and snorting and cursing, " — in the Caribbean?? Oof!"

" — fucking hold him Lij! Ouch!"

"Leggo, leggo, nnng, mrrrff, lunatic pirate, grrrr!"

"Oi, no biting!"

...and bodies thumping off of the walls and then rolling on the carpet, and Viggo yelps, "Elijah! Arrrgh! Stoppit! Ummmph — many damn hobbits!"

Maria has giggled a bit of coffee down the wrong way, and Sean thumps her helpfully between her shoulders.

"Dom! Ack! Fuck! Leggo my pants!"

Sean bellows from the kitchen, nearly startling Maria into a second coughing fit, "Oi! You little bastards, no pantsing the victim! That's my job!" He leers at Maria, who is laughing hard and turning bright pink, "And bloody well reserved for much later."

Amidst swift, wrestling sorts of noises Viggo growls, "Gerroff me, y'little buggers! Ow!" He makes an obscure threat that nobody takes seriously, and then, full of horror and outrage shrieks, "NO! Nonononononooooo!"

The sharp retort of flattened palms rapidly drumming on tummy skin ricochets off of the lounge walls. Dominic keeps quick count aloud, while Viggo howls and swears as though he is being murdered by cannibals.

Sean snickers into his coffee, "Ah, he's gonna fuckin' kill me later, he really is."

Dominic finally sums, " — and one more to grow on makes forty-nine!"

The slapping sounds cease abruptly, and Orlando shouts, "Yes! Yes! At long last, the revenge of the belly-slapped! <em>Fucking brilliant!</em>"

Viggo demands loudly and petulantly, "Isn't there some sort of law against being belly-slapped on your birthday? Goddammit, after all that there had better be cake! Orli, stop doing that ridiculous victory dance! You look like a Muppet on amphetamines."

Sean yells back, "There's a great, whacking chocolate cake here in the kitchen, Birthday Boy!"

"Ha!" Viggo's voice nears, followed by various shuffling and sniggering noises. "Sure, sure, cake in the kitchen with my treacherous boyfriend who schemes with evil ninja belly slappers, perpetrating evil ninja belly slapping on a harmless gentleman of middle years. My God, the indignity! The audacious effront &#151; "

"If you don't stop whinging, you great baby, I'll tell Ian you screamed like a little girl when Orlando gave you back a bit of your own," Sean threatens.

Elijah giggles, "He did, he did!" then yips, "Ow!" as Viggo smacks the back of his head. "Sean, he hit me!"

"Will you need a spanking as well, then?" Sean wonders as Viggo, disheveled and scowling ineffectually, finally enters the kitchen, rubbing at his stomach.

Dom asks hopefully, "If you spank him can we watch?"

"That's for past your bedtime."

Maria stands and grabs for Viggo. "Gimme a hug, Super Freak."

Viggo kisses his friend soundly on both cheeks and hugs her hard. He glares at Sean past Maria's shoulder. "I'll have my revenge on you, later."

Sean licks at his lower lip. "Promises, promises, mate."

Viggo grins, openly interested. "Yeah?" He lets go Maria and makes a move toward Sean, but is intercepted somewhat desperately by Elijah, who steers him firmly toward the other side of the table.

"Quick! Distract 'em! Get the cake!" Dom is scurrying toward the kitchen counter.

Maria snickers, "Are they always like this?"

Orlando's voice echoes mournfully as he rummages in a cupboard, "Oh, God, you've no idea. If we don't intervene promptly we might just as well give up entirely on tonight!"

"So we're meeting Ian later, eh?" Viggo rests his chin in one palm and stares across the table at Sean.

"Yup," Sean affirms, reaching surreptitiously toward Viggo's free hand. "And Livvie's in town."

"That'll be nice," Viggo murmurs, discreetly linking his fingers with Sean's and obviously not thinking of either Liv or Ian. Viggo thinks about how his belly is hot and kind of sore, and that he is absolutely going to get Sean back for plotting with the children.

Sean's smirk widens, wondering if the vengeance Viggo will surely exact later on might involve a return in some fashion to this gooey chocolate cake. With Viggo you never really know until it happens.

Dominic glances over his shoulder and rolls his eyes. "Lumme, like a pair of permanent teenagers."

Maria licks chocolate frosting from her fingers and watches affectionately. "And not a thing wrong with that," she says.


end
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