A murmur in the wind battles against the terrible onslaught of the rain, bitter, foul smelling water and blood...black, viscous Orc blood, shining elf blood, mingled again in the sour flesh of Middle Earth. The Stones of Helms Deep are cold against my shoulder. I feel my life ebbing from me. My spirit resting itself from my earthly form, yearning to return to Mandos to wait until the breaking of the world. This is my fate now, to wait the will of Iluvatar in the silent passages of the Valar's Halls. As my eye darkens, I see the bodies of my kin, my friends who followed me to The Deep...to our deaths. The fairest lights of Lorien forever stuttered and shut out.

Do I die? How long will the journey take? My leaving seems an eternity...For whom do I wait? Whose voice do I desire to hear ere I leave this land? The rain is sour in my mouth. I cannot speak your name, though my frozen lips would rend all the air crying for you...Aragorn...my life comes back to me in flashes, retracing my steps to this end...

When did we first meet? You were but a child, no more than five summers. You crept into the chamber where the Lords Elrond, Celeborn and I were met. The keeper of Imladris indulged you and you stood resting your head in his lap and we discussed the troubles in Dol Guldur. As Lord Celeborn talked you pulled your 'uncles' sleeve until he turned to you, bending his ear to your tiny mouth.

"When I am a man, uncle, will I be as great a warrior as The Guardian of Lorien?" you breathed. Your eyes, like globes, never left me. The Lords laughed and tousled your hair and you ran out of the chamber blushing pretending to chase a dragonfly.

"The hope of all Middle Earth may rest in that small child," Lord Elrond sighed and turned to me "By the grace of the Valar, may he be the greatest warrior of them all."

And I forgot the child that came as a man to the heart of my world.

In the glowing green half-light of The Golden Wood, I tracked you and your companions. Though you were grim and silent I felt the pain of your recent loss course through you, felt your relief on entering the woods. I heard your thoughts whisper to me, your grief was like a weight in my heart also. And I loved you then, as a man, as a warrior, for I saw that you held your self whole by will alone, the will to fulfill your destiny, your duty, to honor your companions. And I knew that the child had indeed become a great warrior, one that had already bested me.

I cursed my duty then, and honored it sorely. For I could not bring you further into the wood and we argued.

"Allohithe, namastire amin! Bring me before the Lord and Lady of the wood...our need is great, Noble Haldir, greater than you could know! Bethnin a gevenna telebroth, beth allohithe"(1). You turned the Silvan tongue to sheer music and I forgot myself and bought you before my Lord. Some part of me thought perhaps to delay you at Caras Galahon, to ensnare you in the golden realm that I might come to know you better. For the pains of Middle Earth were not yet full known to me. It is a wonder now that I thought it, for how could I dare to turn you from your destiny, and in so doing escape mine?

When The Lady called me to gather a host in Elrond's name and march for Helms Deep, she knew that I would not return. Perhaps she also knew that my heart much desired it? To greet you on the steps of the Deep, to come as your saviour, the hero of your childhood, to fight at your side.

"Mae Govennan, Haldir...you are most welcome!" And then to feel your arms about me, to hold you even as I was held. What elf or man would shy away from this destiny?! If I must die and be lost to Middle Earth for all time, let it be thus:

In the darkness of the keep where we lent together your breath against my cheek, your eyes in mine, a hand resting lightly on my armored shoulder as you described your plans to me.

"Let them come as hard as they will at the battlements. Array your light archers on the western wall to defend the Tor from assault ladders. Keep as many as you can in the moat in case they breech us. Legolas and I will train the archers at their front ranks. I do not know what their tactics will be...if they have them at all..." You stopped suddenly and looked at me, with some confusion, almost bemused. A smile forcing it's way to your lips.

"Haldir...Haldir?" You spoke as though you had never heard my name before...as though you had never seen me. And you remembered, you remembered the chamber in the house of Elrond, remembered the elf that was your hero...your first love... You hugged me too you then in the darkness, your lips pressing to my ear and neck. "Haldir!" How long did we stand there forehead to forehead exchanging vows of honor, begging forgiveness for forgetfulness? How many kisses exchanged for half murmured words of love? How long to feel the warmth of your battle worn body against mine, to feel you hard beneath my hands, to taste your skin, to breathe your breath? Was but a murmur in the wind, though long enough to know. I swore to follow you. Even as the sea longing claimed the rest of my people, I would stay with you. My Lord...my love...my Aragorn...For you alone would I arch my bow. Was for thought of you that I stayed o'er long on the battlement. I wished only for you to see the great warrior you saw as a child. And though all around me was a cacophony of death, when you called, I heard you.

"Back! Back to the Keep, Haldir...retreat!" And the sight of you, shining though caked in the filth of battle, the filth of death made me forget myself again. Your sword was a terror to them; from you alone did they quail. And even as you called to me, still they died in vile heaps around you. And I saw the fear in your eyes as you looked to me. I saw the love wrapped there in that mask of frantic concern. And I stood, unguarded; my back open as my archers fell around me. Your face, but for the pain as the Orc sword rendered my spine, your face will be my last earth bound memory.

A murmur in the wind turns to deafening shrieks. Orcs and Uruks flood the battlements. Is the battle lost? As I drift devoid of feeling now I see you still in the midst of chaos, bent over my body, your hand rests gently above my heart. And I hear your voice...'Namaeri Haldir a Lorien, Galadhrim nin, mellon nin, belas nin...'(2)