Rain by Halo Son
Summary: Sometimes you have so much you want to do and such little time to do it. Orlando and Viggo are faced with this situation. The future is set for one of them and is uncertain for the other. If something were to happen, how would the one left behind cope?
Categories: RPS, RPS > Orlando Bloom/Viggo Mortensen, RPS > Viggo Mortensen/Orlando Bloom Characters: Dominic Monaghan, Elijah Wood, Orlando Bloom, Viggo Mortensen
Type: Songfic
Warning: Character Death
Challenges: None
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 4719 Read: 1430 Published: April 22, 2008 Updated: April 22, 2008
Story Notes:
This story was done for Cat's LOTR Actor RPS Fan Fiction challenge. It seems appropriate that both our fav RPS pairings are O/V, but I threw in some added E/D stuff in too. Warning, this fic is MAJOR angst, so it would be wise to grab a few tissues as it contains character death. Also contains slash so anyone who doesn't like slash should NOT read this fic, I won't put up with flames, simple as that.

1. Chapter 1 by Halo Son

Chapter 1 by Halo Son
"Orlando?"

"Mmmmm?"

"Tell me something."

"Yeah?"

"What's in a name?"

Orlando lifted his head up sharply and his eyes met those of the resolute artist sitting next to him. Moving his hands so they laid on top of one another in front of him to support his body, Orlando tilted his head slightly causing several dark curls to fall over his eyes.

"What do you mean by that?"

For a moment the two stared at each other in silence. Many had seen this behaviour before and had said that they were both engaged in a battle of wits to what purpose no one knew. But those who knew them best knew that these silent exchanges said more words to the other than they could ever speak.

Viggo finally turned away and set his sights once more on the sketch he was in the middle of creating. Often when the pair went out together Viggo brought a camera or a sketchpad. He was the kind of man that lived for the moment and was never in a rush to do things. He did things slowly and the way he wanted to do it.

But then, Orlando had always preferred him like that.

It was no secret that Orlando and Viggo were together. Many suspected they would end up together from the moment they met each other. Several of those people had been Elijah Wood, Sean Astin and Ian McKellen.

Ian knew from experience the attraction of the same sex and so he knew right from the word 'Go' that there was something between the two actors. Elijah and Sean just had guess feelings to go on, but they had been proven right in the end.

Orlando admired Viggo right from day one. He loved the concentration and aura about the older man. He was so focused and so determined in his work and it inspired the younger actor. Each day that past he grew more and more certain that he was falling in love, but it had taken a little more time and courage to admit it.

But now, here they were together upon the cliff overlooking a wide, sun kissed beach and sparkling, almost tropical sea. It was their favourite place to come when they wanted some time alone to relax in each other's company.

Skilled hands worked their way around the drawing with a small piece of charcoal, stopping to flesh out the cheekbones before moving on to the rest of the body.

"You know exactly what I mean prissy elf."

Orlando chuckled a little at the inside joke between him and Viggo. It had started when they had been working on the film, The Lord Of The Rings. Playing an elf character meant that Orlando hardly ever got dirty while the rest of his co-stars ended up covered in the stuff.

"Yes... but that's what worries me stubborn human." Orlando retorted before sighing.

The hand stopped moving and for a brief moment a flash of sorrow slid over the older man's eyes. Just recently he had caused Orlando to sigh a lot, but then they both knew why and it stung at Viggo's heart to know he was hurting the one he loved.

Without turning, Viggo stretched out his hand and placed it on Orlando's shoulder in an unspoken gesture of comfort, one Orlando had very much grown used to. He reacted as he usually did by leaning his head to the side so it touched the reassuring hand.

"Your name means more to me than any words could say." Orlando finally spoke, though it was in a hushed whisper. "Whenever I hear your name I smile in the knowledge that you have accepted me and are a part of me." Orlando paused for a moment and lifted his head up once more to gaze into Viggo's eyes. "I'm scared Viggo, very scared that... that you'll leave me and I'll be alone."

Before Orlando realised it, strong arms had embraced him around his shoulders, holding him close to a warm body.

"Now, you listen to me Orlando Bloom and you had better listen because you know I will not repeat myself." That gained a small smile from the younger man. "You know what is happening as much as I do, but despite that I will not leave you. I won't ever turn away from you nor disappear from your side." One of the warm hands cupped Orlando's cheek. "I love you."

Orlando chuckled, "I think you were meant to say 'I swear I will never leave you ever and I love you very much.'"

Viggo shrugged, "Everyone says that, it's rather cliché."

Orlando smiled and leaned up, pressing his lips against his lover's as his own arms wrapped themselves instinctively around Viggo's back.

"I love you too." Orlando finally spoke when they had broken away.

Bathed in delicate waves of dying sunlight, the pair sat together staring into each other's eyes, saying a thousand words without speaking them. Such as a bond they shared, a simple look could reveal the inner most secrets to the other.

But that was the way they preferred it.

<hr>

<em>And even though the moment's passed me by
I still can't turn away
All the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Get tossed along the way
The letters that you never meant to send
Get lost or thrown away.</em>
 &#151; Name - Goo Goo Dolls

<hr>

Relentless rain was pouring its load from the burdensome clouds above.

The driving wind sent sheets of icy water and chilling air through anything it came into contact with and for Orlando's part, he wished he wasn't here.

But he had to be... he had to be.

He owed Viggo that much.

Tired and pale hands ran themselves across the smooth, but rain-drenched stone, fingering the letters that in this weather could only be made out by touch.

Tears were indistinguishable from the torrential downpour around him, but it didn't matter. What did matter was the reason he was here, out on this ungodly day. Running the tips of his fingers over the words of the large stone, Orlando read the words in his mind.

<em>Viggo Mortensen A man of many talents and of many passions. May the skies hold no boundaries from you.</em>

Orlando had chosen the last line of words himself, hoping that somewhere in the desolate heavens, his lover's soul had found a blessed peace from his tortured body.

The past few months had seemed so hazy to Orlando. They passed by so fast without so much as a glance back that the young man often found himself spinning in his own thoughts.

The illness had struck again so fast and so brutally that it left Orlando and many others reeling. Within a month of the illness making itself known once more, the most precious gift in Orlando's life was gone.

Several choked sobs escaped Orlando's throat, but they were lost to the storm raging above him. Lightning flash across the violent skies, highlighting the young man's face and for the briefest of seconds his tears could clearly be seen trickling down his ashen cheeks.

Black curls clung to his forehead and face as another icy blast of wind and rain smacked into his body, but the cold had long seeped into his skin and soul, making him numb with grief.

"Viggo?" Orlando's voice was strained and so quiet that only he and the roaring thunder heard it. "Viggo, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't help you any more than I did. I'm sorry I couldn't stop you hurting and feeling pain. Did it hurt to die Viggo? I know I'm starting to sound like a little kid but, I don't know... no one knows what it's like to die... "

Orlando bowed his head as heart-wrenching sobs began to wrack his body, his entire frame shaking with the force of them.

"I can't do this Viggo." He whispered through strangled cries. "God damnit I miss you so much! How do you expect me to go on without you?! You know how much you meant to me!" He paused for a moment as several crystalline tears slipped down his cheeks and on to the already soggy ground. "I can't do it Viggo, I just can't."

The wind howled as a response and if someone in the unknown havens did reply to Orlando's words, he didn't hear them.

"Orli?"

A new voice made itself known to the wind as Orlando turned his head slowly to face the owner of that voice.

Elijah was standing nearby clad in several layers of clothing holding an umbrella. His eyes were soft and full of worry and concern. Slowly walking forward, Elijah put an understanding hand on Orlando's shoulder.

"Come on Orli." He spoke quietly. "How about you come back to my place yeah? I'm sure Viggo wouldn't want you to be out in this god awful weather."

Orlando lingered for a few minutes longer before allowing Elijah to help him up. The pair walked off together to get some much-needed rest and perhaps a cup of hot coco. Heaven knows, Orlando needed it.

<hr>

<em>Ag caoineadh ar an uaigneas mór
Na deora, go brónach
Na gcodladh ins an uaigh ghlas chiúin
Faoi shuaimhneas, go domhain</em>

<em>Lamenting the great loneliness
The sorrowful tears
Asleep in the quiet green grave
In a deep peace</em>
 &#151; Smaointe - Enya

<hr>

Dominic was just finishing off making lunch when Elijah came in with a bedraggled Orlando on his heels.

Dom came out of the kitchen and with a smile he greeted them as he usually did; a quick kiss to Elijah and a warm hug and pat on the back for Orlando. That made him a smile a little, somewhat grateful for the company upon this foul day, though his heart wished to be alone.

Viggo never minded the rain.

There had been times when the younger man had found his love outside on days such as this, just staring off into space like it was one of the most fascinating things in his life.

Orlando smiled in recollection. He had often seen Viggo's youth return to him in those moments. At times he would act like such a boy scout and Orlando could remember each and every time he would have to drag his partner out of the rain.

A sad sigh escaped his lips before he was wrenched from his thoughts by Dom's voice.

"Just look at you Orli!" He berated the younger man. "Viggo would have a fit if he saw you like this! You had better change out of those wet clothes before you catch a cold."

Elijah stifled a snicker as he listened to Dom ordering Orlando up to their bedroom to get some dry clothes. As Orlando ascended the stairs, Dom turned on Elijah and gave him a disapproving look.

"You had better not try and pull that stunt on me or god so help me Elijah, I'll kill you."

"Ah, you wouldn't dare." Elijah retorted with a wide grin.

"Try me." Elijah moved up to Dom and kissed him long and passionately. "Cheeky bastard."

Orlando listened to Dom and Elijah play-fighting for a moment before walking down the small upstairs hallway and into Dom and Elijah's room, leaving a trail of dripping water behind him.

Going straight to the cupboard, Orlando began searching for some spear dry clothes. His progress however was halted when he gazed up and saw a mirror hanging on the wall in front of him.

He stared for a moment before slowly standing so he could face the mirror. His mouth dropped in surprise and his eyes widened a little.

The mirror wasn't thing that startled him so much. It was his reflection.

The reflection showed a young man who was soaking wet with his clothes dripping and sticking to his body, much like his curled black hair. He was thin and had a pale complexion and his eyes seemed so tired and so weary of life. They no longer had the usual spark Orlando had been wondered for having, especially during the filming of Lord of the Rings.

Hesitantly, not wishing to believe it was real, Orlando stretched out a hand and let his fingers touch the mirror. His reflection copied his movements. It was real.

It was at that moment that Orlando realised that for once, he was glad Viggo wasn't there.

He didn't want Viggo to see who he had become after his passing. He seemed to be almost spirit-like, as though he too did no longer exist. It was true that part of him had died with Viggo that night... that night that seemed so long ago yet also felt as though it had happened yesterday.

But ghosts don't have reflections.

It was just yet another reminder to the painful memory that he had been left behind by the one person whom his life revolved around.

Orlando felt mist gather in his eyes and he turned away from the mirror. Quietly he closed the cupboard and moved towards the bedroom door.

He wanted to go home.

<hr>

<em>These wounds won't seem the heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you scream I'd wipe away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have All of me</em>
 &#151; My Immortal - Evanescence

<hr>

The rain was still pouring down heavily upon the slated ground of concrete paving and roads.

Elijah and Dom hadn't been too keen on letting Orlando go home on his own, but they respected his wishes and let him do as he wanted. Orlando had quietly thanked them gratefully before he left.

Hands in his trouser pockets and shivering as the icy sheets of rain poured upon him, Orlando gazed up into the sky. Though there were blankets of black clouds above him, Orlando imagined he could see the stars beyond them.

"Damn you Viggo... " Orlando whispered, his voice drowned out by the pouring rain. "Typical, you broke the one promise that meant the most."

Echoing footsteps followed Orlando all the way home.

<hr>

<em>Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far behind
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there?
Did you get to be a star?
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are?

Your grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on
A tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name</em>
 &#151; Name - Goo Goo Dolls

<hr>

Cold.

Their bedroom had always been cold ever since Viggo died. Orlando had refused to go back in there for several months afterwards, he couldn't bare the emptiness.

Orlando walked up to the large bed and sat down on the edge. Tentatively reaching, Orlando's fingers brushed across the silky bed sheets on the side where Viggo used to lay. History ran across the young man's fingertips, caressing and wanting the affection they had grown so familiar with to return.

Pale eyes scanned the room, giving each object a stare before moving on to the next. Several picture frames containing photos sat upon a shelf near the left side of the bed by the window. Orlando stood and walked in front of the shelf, gazing at the photos and remembering where each one came from.

One photo in particular stood out among the rest. It sat in a golden plated frame with silver writing, in elvish, running around the rim of the frame. Inside sat a picture of Orlando and Viggo together. Viggo was sat on the ground while Orlando was knelt behind him, his slender arms wrapped around the older man's shoulders, both smiling as though the world they lived in was perfect.

That picture had been taken during one of the actor's off days and they had all gone down to the beach to enjoy the day. In the fading but glorious setting of the sun at the end of the day, Orlando had asked Elijah to take a picture of him and Viggo together.

It had been one of their best photos, a reminder of the dedication and love they shared with each other.

Tearing his eyes away from the picture, as mist of sorrow dripped down his pale cheeks, Orlando found his attention drawn instead to another picture, but this time it wasn't a photo. Running his fingertips across the canvas surface, Orlando could recognise this picture without even looking at it.

The Eagle and the Dove.

A small, sad smile reached Orlando's lips as the memories of how this painting had been made came to his mind.

It had been a dull, rainy day like it was now. Orlando had been dozing for most of the day, having not gotten much sleep the previous night, before he finally got up from the couch to search out Viggo.

His lover had had a tendency to hide away in his studio whenever the weather was like this, either that or 'go out and sing and dance in it' as Orlando put it. Orlando walked down the basement stairs and an odd thought on why Viggo had decided to set up his studio in the basement crossed his mind, but as usual the younger man shrugged the thought away.

Orlando never had bothered to knock, he never had as he entered into the room and made his way to where the older man was working. If Viggo noticed his presence, he didn't show it as Orlando stood behind him silently, gazing in awe of the beautiful painting that was coming to life.

"It's beautiful Viggo." Orlando said in a hushed whisper.

Viggo just smiled and continued.

Orlando hadn't needed to be told what the painting showed; he knew what his eyes were seeing. An eagle and dove in synchronous flight, rising into the sky with all the brilliance and majesty of the phoenix rising from the ashes as legends told.

Moving away too from the painting, Orlando took several steps to the bed and laid down upon it, on Viggo's side. Clutching the sheets tightly within his grasp, Orlando buried his face in the softness, trying almost to bury himself away from the pain.

"Why Viggo?" He whispered in a shaky voice, his pearly tears dripping down on the sheets around him. "Why did you have to go?"

<hr>

<em>In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared
In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets
Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart
Is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts
Is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Cause true love never dies</em>

 &#151; S Club 7 - Say Goodbye

<hr>

The rain was pouring against the windows and normally Orlando wouldn't have taken any notice, but right here and right now, they seemed to drown out every thought in his mind.

The sickness had come so quickly it had thrown them all for several loops. When first told, Orlando had refused to believe it and wouldn't talk about it for several days. It had taken a lot of coaxing from Viggo to get Orlando talking about it and the implications.

There had been various treatments available, but each one had ended in the same result of nothing and it seemed fate had constantly laughed at them every step of the way.

"You always did like the rain, didn't you Viggo?" Orlando smiled weakly, running his fingers through the damp, dark hair of the older man laying in the bed before him.

Viggo smiled slightly, enjoying the sensation of Orlando's fingers. He loved Orlando's fingers. Tools of love. Tools of pleasure.

"The rain is nature's song, Orli." Viggo leaned into the touch.

Orlando chuckled, "You've always given me the same answer to that same question in all the time we've been together." Orlando paused, biting on his lower lip to try and prevent tears coming to his eyes. "You know that's one of the things I love about you Viggo."

Viggo grinned slyly. "Really? What else do you love about me?" His voice was barely a whisper, brushing against Orlando's cheek. The rise and fall of his chest was slowly down ever so slightly, and his hands shook minutely.

"Oh, some little things... some big things... I can't tell you all the things I love about you because there's too many to count."

Orlando leaned forward and kissed Viggo's forehead before resting his own forehead upon Viggo's.

"Damn you Viggo... why are you doing this to me?"

Viggo's grin faded, as he looked into the eyes of his lover. "Oh Orlando. You know I wouldn't leave you if that were possible. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you, sorry that I've put you through this torment... Do you regret falling in love with me?" His voice broke slightly.

Orlando nearly choked.

"No!" Orlando sat up. "No, of course I don't! I would never ever regret falling in love with you. You mean so much... so very much to me.."

Orlando picked up Viggo's hands and encased them with his own hands, his thumbs softly brushing against Viggo's pale skin.

"If I had to suffer this to love you I'd do it again and again."

Viggo paused as his breath hitched in his chest. Breathing more slowly, he squeezed Orlando's hand. "If I could go back... ... I wouldn't change a thing. I love you, Orli. More than the earth... ... more than the sky... ... more than life itself. Never forget that."

Orlando's heart began jumping and dread flooded his entire being, making him feel intensely sick to his stomach.

"Don't leave me Viggo! God please don't leave me! Not now! Not yet! Not like this! We were supposed to have forever together, you and me remember? We promised each other that!"

The younger man bowed his head as choked sobs escaped his throat and hot, pearly tears fell thick and fast down his cheeks.

"We promised ourselves Viggo... "

Viggo put his arm around Orlando. "This... is one promise I'm going to have to break." Tears formed in his eyes, trailing down the sides of his face. He gently lifted Orlando's face up to his, and brushed his lips against the other's.

Orlando trembled as he allowed Viggo's lips to touch his own, the soft caress he loved and he never wanted to end.

"I love you Viggo... god I love you so much... please... "

"I love you too." Orlando had to lean in slightly to hear the words, the hand around his back going still. Viggo grinned again, taking in the beauty that was his lover.

This was the last thing he wanted to see when he left this earth. This devotion of love, the power of raw and untamed emotion. His eyelids fluttered once, and closed.

Orlando's eyes went wide, expecting, waiting for those beautiful eyes to open again, but they didn't and deep in his heart, Orlando knew they never would again.

"V-Viggo? VIGGO!"

Orlando stared horror and grief stricken before his face scrunched up and he began sobbing loudly. He felt himself fall forwards and gently holding Viggo's face he kissed his lover's lips.

"Goodbye... my angel... "

Orlando buried his face in Viggo's chest, clutching his shirt tightly in his hands.

And the rain continued to fall.

<hr>

<em>I close my eyes
And I can see
The day we met
Just one moment and I knew
You're my best friend
Do anything
For you

We've gone so far
And done so much
And I feel
Like we've always been together
Right by my side
Through thick and thin
You're the part of my life
I'll always remember

The time has come
It's for the best, I know it
Who could've guessed that you and I
Somehow, someway
We'd have to say
Goodbye</em>

 &#151; Pokemon - The Time Has Come

<hr>

Orlando still didn't know how he survived this long. Half a year... sometimes it seemed to roll by, but mostly it seemed to just linger on and on day after day after day.

At the time, part of Orlando felt terrible guilt for begging Viggo to stay, knowing full well the pain he was in, feeling his wishes were selfish, but he just couldn't handle the prospect of being left all alone in this harsh world without the one person he loved more than anything, even life itself.

Orlando turned over so he was laying on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

The rain was now coming down even harder, but all sound was fading from Orlando's awareness. Simply staring up at the ceiling, the emptiness and plainness he realised something.

Yes he was alive, but was it really him that was living or the shadow of what used to be him? His love for Viggo was such that he knew part of him had died with him that day, but what if it wasn't just a part of him, what if it was all of him?

He certainly didn't feel like he was living; only one person could do that and he was gone from the world. With him too went his heart, his soul, and without his soul surely he could not be living.

And then he knew.

Existing on this world didn't necessarily mean he was alive. All those old ghost stories in the world seemed to make sense in that they were the souls of people past their time, simply existing in the world but not living in it.

With his own soul gone, what was keeping Orlando here?

Was it the fear of death? Was it the fear of knowing he would be breaking Viggo's unspoken wishes if he did leave? Or was it that he never looked at the answer that was staring him in the face until now?

The simple truth was that there was <em>nothing</em> keeping Orlando here.

He had been blinded by his grief and sorrow he never saw the path ahead of him and the one who was waiting for him, who would always be waiting for him until he came.

Orlando sucked in a breath at this new revelation, his eyes ever so slightly glazed. His eyes now fixed on the ceiling, it seemed the world was beginning to turn. Orlando couldn't explain it, but it was making him feel tired.

Tiredness through lack of sleep and the weariness of his body were finally catching up on him, making Orlando feel sick and exhausted.

Orlando almost jumped when he felt the soft, feather touch of fingers brushing through his curled hair and the familiar humming of a song he knew all too well. Turning his head to the side, Orlando felt a smile form on his dry lips and tears mist his eyes.

"Viggo... "

The faint image of a face smiled down at the young man before a finger ran across Orlando's lips and suddenly they didn't feel so dry anymore.

"Shhh, don't speak now." The figure whispered in a soothing, quiet voice. "Just sleep now and everything will be fine by morning."

Orlando knew what the words meant and the smile never left his ashen face. He felt his eyes begin to close, but instead of the world getting darker it got brighter.

And then, just as everything faded into a haze of pure white, it dawned on him.

Viggo never had broken his promise, they really would have forever.


<hr>

<em>One look at love and you may see
It weaves a web over mysteries
All ravelled threads can rend apart
For hope has a place in a lover's heart
Hope has a place in a lover's heart

Look to love and you may dream
And if it should leave then give it wings
But if such a love is meant to be
Hope is home and the heart is free

Hope is home and the heart is free</em>
 &#151; Enya - Hope Has A Place


THE END
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